My thoughts while reading the book

What do I worry about in life? Short answer is pretty much everything! lol! When I say I am a natural born worrier I am not exagirating! Plus I have always been the sort who tends to expect the worse so as not to be disapointed, I think it's how I have always coped with things! If I expect the worst and then something good happens then thats a nice suprise! I have pretty much been this way throughout my ttc journey, even on months when things have looked a little more hopefull I have always tried to mentally prepare myself for arriving, thats just the way I have always dealt with my emotions! Not anymore though!

I already feel more emotionally stable. Take my upcoming HSG for instance. It's tomorrow and I don't even feel stressed about it, whereas normally I would be a wreck! I would normally convince myself that I will get bad news and that way if the news isn't bad, it will be a nice suprise!

It's not just in ttc that I have always applied this way of thinking, it's in every aspect of my life!

I have to stop trying to figure out all the hows and whys though. This is another thing I have always done, always wanted to know exactly how something works and trying to do this with the law of attraction makes my head hurt!

white lily, I noticed you seemed calmer about the HSG tomorrow. Good for you!

I was thinking of you today while at lunch -- reading the book some more and pondering things. I guess I worry about some things too. Not only about having a baby but where his room will be because our little dressing/computer room (2nd bedroom) is cramped, crowded, and in desperate need of major remodel/repair after storm damage 7 freakin' years ago! And our vehicles (we have 5! Why do 2 people need FIVE?!) and only 2 have a backseat -- but my car (which I won't even drive anymore) is 11yrs old with 203,000 miles on it. So all of a sudden, I related to that worry thing.

And all of a sudden, I realized that because I've been expecting my husband to NOT complete the bathroom remodel and finish/start other projects, he simply hasn't. So I must start believing that he will. And the car thing....he surprised me over the weekend. We got new tires on the truck I've been driving and got a quote for the car too, but more importantly, got some answers on what needs fixing. We then discussed how much money we really want to put into that car because of the age and miles. I expressed how we really need a FAMILY vehicle for all three of us. And you know what he said, "well we can always trade in the S-10 (little truck I drive) for a car." Wha?? And this is from the man who drives a car/truck until the wheels fall off....and then puts them back on again! Get rid of a vehicle that is in good shape and runs well? OHMYGOSH, my husband is opening himself up to thinking in a new way.

So I too struggle with the "how" of things, but I think we just have to BELIEVE more and we'll find the way. My husband comment about the trade-in made me see that. So starting today, we WILL complete the bathroom and bedroom remodel. OH! And here's another thing, because we heat our home with a wood-burning stove, that back room is the coldest. We, well really HE, has been thinking about ways to supplement the heat in there so it's more appropriate for the baby. WOW, that was an eye-opener when I realized he was doing that!

Start expecting good things for yourself mel! Tomorrow will be fine, and for the next cycle EXPECT and BELIEVE that BF will be home at the right time.

Beth I am so thrilled at how you have leapt into this woth both feet.Everytime I read your posts on here I notice something new that has actually happend that you have 'attracted' with your positive thoughts/feelings.I don't kow if you count all these little things that happen like especially with your hunny but I am for one,amazed at the positivity,change and forward direction he and you have both taken,refusing to be beaten down,talking with the future in the now "wanting the care for the three of us' and 'now that she's pregnant ' (BF talking to dog I believe)? It's Just wondrerful and EXACTLY the way to go!You are a natural!I am so ...I can't think of any other word than proud (I hope you dont take that as condescending.Pplease just keep going on like this,dont loose hope or momentum and I feel you are ALREADY reapinf the benifits of this as a reward but I also believe there are far bigger rewards on there way...or perhaps NOT THAT big

Hugs!

Lily,you are going GREAT as well sweetheart.I know it's hard to chnage the way you think,but you really have nothing to lose and you are already making GREAT changed in your general outlook,dare to trust and believe that you can and will have what you want!You wont be dissapointed.Just live the dream! Proud of you too,...Keep it up!

Thanks Angel! I thought you would be pleased

Going through some crap today though so finding this whole positive thinking difficult at times! I am still trying though!

I hear you,We all have bad days/moments.The trick (I think) is to not feel bad about feeling bad.If I have a shitty day,here'shwat I have taken to doing...

I go home(If I'm not already) sort the kids out with food and tide everyone over until bedtime,all the while allowing myself to 'wallow' a little.I know it's not easy to asmit but I think everyone who reads this will know that if they are being trully honest we all love to wallow or have little pitty parites,even if it's just for a couple of hours.It's somehow theraputic.BUT....here's where you have to change your behaviour.DON"T feel bad about feeling bad,or habing a down day,just set a limit to your wallowing...for example,lets say you had a bad day at work,you can be miserable in the car,on the way home,in the shop while you pick up your dinner and then STOP.You make a note to END the wallowing/dwelling the minute you walk in your house.I hear you say,it's not that easy...oh but it is.HOWEVER<you have to do some physical things...back to what I do...
So my day is awful,I cant take anymoe,I am miserable,angry and sad all at once right...here's what I do.Once everyone is out of the way (in bed) I run myself a long hot bath,light some scented candles...(it sounds cliche but it works) and treat yourself to some ice cream/chocolate,glass of wine and something visual to take your minf off of whats going on,for example I watch my favourite chick flicks,read a book or play xbox.It does usually require a combination of things to dicipate my mood entirely however it ALWAYS works.You have to customise it to YOU and your likes of course.maybe xbox doesnt do it for you ...but I guarentee you there is something in your home that can and will cheer you up YOU have to make the effort (it's a small effort) to physcially do something to get you out of your bad mood and go to bed on a good note.This is where most people go wrong,they listen to it and go 'yeah ok' but do nothing sit on the couch and say 'well I tried to think nice thoughts' you have to take action sometimes.Weather it be as simple as running a bath,calling a friend who always makes you laugh,having a glass of wine with your SO or just wathing a movie.most things require some action,but it's SO worth it.

Don't let having a bad day defeat you,sometimes we all have them,just remember these points when you get in a mood;

* You CAN change it
*Set a limit for it to end (ex;' When I walk in my front door this funk is over')
*TAke action,do what usually comforts you,even if it's breaking your diet rule a little bit for a night
*don't fret about thinking bad thoughts...just acknowledge and replace those thoughts with happy thoughts as soon as you get them.Once you cath yourself doing it it's quite an easy habbit I've found.It doesnt matter how silly or far fetched your ghood thoguht is as long as it's good.For example,I caught myself last night worrying about all of our bills.I quickly turned to my vision board,it's filled with my dream and houses and lovely things ,nothing to do with my current siutation.I instantly feel better when I do that.Failing that,I take some action,pamper myself with a bath or something!

Thanks Angel and that all makes so much sense! When things started to go downhill yesturday I started worrying that I wasn't allowed to feel sorry for myself and that obviously sets off my worrying again. I think I did quite well actually, looking back I could have been alot worse yesturday than I was! If it wasn't for BF making some stupid comments I would have been fine!

Yes,there's a part in the movie "the secret" which I try and remember because it applies to most people at some point in their lives.Its a small sketch of a woman waking up (while the guy narates)"some people if they wake up and stub their toe out of bed.the whole day spirals..,then it show the woman waking up and looking pissed off at her alarm (LOL),then she indeed stubs her toe, and yell,she goes into the bathroom and she's run out of toothpaste and throws the empty tube on the counter,then her tights ladder,then she gets stuck outside in traffic...the guy sais.(basically demonstrating that her day went from bad to worse becaise of her attitude.

Then it's scenario two,the womans alarm goes off,she streches and smiles,she gets out of bed (minus the toe stubbing)goes into the bathroom its at this point that the narrator sais 'if you don't allow the little things to change your mood" and it shows that she is out of toothpaste,but instead of flinging it down on the counter,she shrugs and just brushes her teeth without toothpaste...then it shows her having a lovely rest of her day,even being surprised with flowers...all because she changhed her approach and things spiralled UP this time,it can go either way and while some things are beyond our control,how we see them and react to them is up to us and it's the little moments like the toothpaste running out,(a stupid comment from someone that irritates us,waiting in line a little longer to get your lunch,having to work half an hour late) these are the moments that we ALL have either often or day to day,you CAN decide how you react,its SO easy to see how the little things change your world... :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have something to try...next time you go to work...home in on a co worker and pay them a compliment,maybe somenone you usually ignore,just break into a big wide grin and tell them they look nice today! watch their smile,that makes US feel good.Or if you don't want to do that,just smile at a stranger or two.one might ignore you but 2 more will grin right back!Joy is contagious! I love going to the store,I randonly smile at people,I love the reaction I get,I have yet to have one dissapoint me.I love that part of the movie anyway,it makes SO much sense to me and has been true of many a day for me!

mel, from you other post on AWH, sounds like BF is being better today. I really do think that YOU being positive can rub off on him, so keep it up! You guys in the UK are truely given such a gift when comes to IUI and IVF. Yes, you have to wait for them, but it's pretty much free, right? At least for a few cycles? IVF would run me about HALF of my annual salary before taxes. No insurance coverage for that for almost everyone. That's why it's not an option for soooo many people in the US. IUI is more affordable. I think ANMSMITH said it cost her $975 per cycle though, which isn't peanuts. So look at the positive side of things regarding that. I certainly am hoping you never ever get to that point though! Stop worrying about if BF won't be at home....that's a couple of cycles away anyway. Start focusing on BF WILL BE HOME, BF WILL BE HOME, BF WILL BE HOME. If you haven't reached it in the book yet, avoid negative words like "no" and "not" in your thoughts. So instead of "BF Won't Be Gone," "BF WILL BE HOME" is better. A negative thought pops in your head so stop it. Tell yourself the opposite. I find if I keep telling myself something it gets easier to believe, so keep at it. I'm not even thinking about the next cycle because I keep telling myself that I am pregnant NOW. Hope to confirm that in a few days.

Angel, I did not think your comment was condescending at all -- I knew exactly what you meant and how you felt. Thank you! And your comments about dealing with negative thoughts/bad days helps give us perspective.

Has anyone noticed that you see the negativity in people more clearly now?

Hubby and I have been picking out baby names lately! So far Adam and Eric are in the lead, but Daniel (Danny) is in the running, and he likes Tyler too. My hubby has a very similar name to Georgi's husband and Toffee's BF, so the formal name of that will probably be our baby boy's middle name. Adam is because it's a shortened version of my maiden name. It's fun to do this!

I bought some scrapbooking baby stickers today for my Vision Board! I haven't found the pattern I'm looking for yet, but I am going to cross-stitch a Baby's First Christmas 2009 ornament. This seems to be something I need to do to make this real for me. I also intend to include a (positively worded) note to my former RE. Also seems to be something I need to do.

BethG wrote:
Angel, I did not think your comment was condescending at all -- I knew exactly what you meant and how you felt. Thank you! And your comments about dealing with negative thoughts/bad days helps give us perspective.

Has anyone noticed that you see the negativity in people more clearly now?

.

OMG....Beth,Georgi and I were talking about this shortly after we watched the secret (within a few months of each other) It seems that everyone around you is complaining,moaning and whining about SOMETHING,the more time goes on and the more I buy into the 'secret way' it feels like I am constantly judging anf preaching to others about it,but most of all it's a quality I hate in others yet I find myself just getting flat out annoyed with peeople who seemingly whine all the time,not to take away from the fact that "I" used to do it as well ALL the time,but NOW it's as if it's suddenly snapped into sharp focus and JUST like you say,you realise that in general people are SO negative,defeatest and flat out whingers.It made me want to try and help everyone at firstm,then I got frustated and realised that if I wanted to preach and change everybody and MAKE them see MY way,I might as well open a church and call myself a hypocrit right now.BUT I did decide (once again Georgi and I discussed this when we started the forum) that we would have a section here dedicated entirely to the secret,with sections for visions boards and to chat about it freely.Also the whole'philosophy of this place is based on that it's supposed to be a happy positive place where we can all share and love and grow together,so far I think we;ve all succeeded!

I am SO happy to see how great your doing,not because I want to convert you at all,just because I KNOW that given a little time and ALL your belief and effort it will pay off and I LOVE hearing people happy stroeis,defying science and turning their lives around for the better.I am loving every minute of watching you two doing so great with this!Also being cheerleaders for you ! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

heehee! I found some cool things on the internet and made a few things for my Vision Board.....can't wait to put it together and show you girls! Figured I had to get it done before I got my , you know?

I cant WAIT to see your vision board bethy!Will you post it in the vision board gallery!I love loking at other peoples boards! is hubby gonna make on too? Or is that too cheesy for him?lol

Oh I also meant to comment on the end of your before last post,those ideas (baby christmas 2009) sound wonderful.Baby will be a month old at least so it will be nice to keep! Wonderul ideas,keep going!

I have also been seeing the negativity in people this week! Especially a certain work colleague of mine! lol! But I am also seeing positivity aswell! For instance yesturday I went home for lunch and just as I turned the TV on they were talking about the power of positive thinking! I thought it was very appropriate!

I think, looking back at this week, I have done very well considering the circumstances. Just take my HSG for example. I get pretty stressed out before ANY medical procedure, especially relating to my fertility but I didn't stress out at all! I received potentially bad news at the HSG that it's possible that my left tube is blocked. I would imagine that would be enough to make me go to pieces normally but I focussed on the fact that my right tube is good. I was GRATEFULL that I have at least one good tube and took that as very good news. They have booked me in for a lap, again this would normally have me in a panic as I have NEVER had surgery before and the thought of it has always scared the life out of me, but even this isn't enough to start me worrying!

I have seen other ladies on other boards go to pieces receiving news like I did this week but I am feeling quite the opposite, this has given me so much hope! Plus, I think I posted in a positive way after hearing my news and this resulted in lots of positive posts coming back to me. Again, on other sites when ladies have had the same news as me and all the posts have been along the lines of "Oh I am so sorry" I don't think anyone has said that to me!

mel, I LOVE your focus!

Had a few Secret Shout-Outs today. Just ways of reminding me of my focus I guess. First of all, I was stuck behind a stalled truck this morning (minus 20 below zero this morning!) when I noticed another car's license plate: B64BY. I instantly read it as "BABY" however. During my lunch hour I went to a local needlework/quilting shop to search from my cross-stitch pattern. Found something suitable and I also checked out a line of cross-stitch/beaded Christmas ornament kits that I really like. There was one that was simply the word BELIEVE. Wow! I bought it, lol. Just last night I had printed out the word BELIEVE in calligraphy for my Vision Board. Leaving the shop, I spotted a billboard with......the word BELIEVE on it again! Ok, it was for a cell phone company, but that was the word I instantly saw! Then I saw another billboard with a woman's pregnant belly with her hands making a heart shape over it. I HAD seen that billboard several times before though but made a special point of looking at it again today. I guess there's things out there to keep us on track!

Here's a pic of the BELIEVE ornamant.

Amazing huh beth,once you become aware,you start seeing proof and littke 'signs' all around you! I think you're doing amazing!Keep believing girl!