Dads Changing/bathing Babies...weird?

What do you think?My hubby will not change a diaper for our baby daughter or give her a bath.He sais it's because it's 'weird' He won't even look while I am changin her.When we got together my son was still in diapers,he had to change one ONCE and he acted like it was a big deal.I tried to explain that it's not weird,it's a necesity.He just feels really uncomfortable.I just wonder if it's coz he doesnt want to do it.Anyone else had experience with this?Maybe TG can share his opinion from a guy POV

Wrong spot for this, but glad you're doing ok, Nika.
I seem to have read somewhere on some forum, not sure where, but somebody's DH had issues with kids' private parts, I think. I mean, I would always dread changing my friends' baby boys, especially when they had pooped. It was just weird. Practically speaking, that sounds dumb, I know. But, I guess if I had a son, I would just have to get over it. As a mom, it feels normal to change my little girl's diaper, and clean poop out of her...well, er,crevices. I'll bet if you had a boy, hubby be ok with changing him, since they have the same package. Think about it, how many penises have you been up close and personal with, but in a nonsexual way? I know I can't think of any, except baby boys. And it was just weird. Might be the same with him.

I can't understand how I can say things out loud, they make perfect sense, but try typing it, and it doesn't always come out right. I hope I have kind of explained a possible theory, without sounding like a crazy lady.

You are not crazy and I see what you are saying,but like I said,he did change ONE of my sons diapers...he refused to do it again and has NOTHING to do with bathing or naked kids in our house,he finds it creepy for HIM to be looking/changing.It annoys me coz i never get a break from doing it but either way,i just get on with it now.I tried to sho him the other day and he wouln't look!I think it's stupid.They're khis kids not strangers and it's part of caretaking...what would be weird and wrong to me is leaving them in a shitty diaper or not bathing them.Anyway...I dont' know...sigh

I totally agree. He needs to act like a parent, and just suck it up. The more he does it, the more normal it will become. Contrary to popular male belief, we're not born with the instinct to like changing pissy and sh*tty diapers on sons or daughters!!

DH didnt do much of this sort of thing with jesse, he would if he had too, he would never bath him either until he was a bit bigger like when jesse could sit in the bath without help, now jesse loves to have a both or shower with daddy and hubby doesnt mind.
He does a lot more this time round tho, he has changed kiers heaps and gets him dreassed and will bath him if im running a bit late with household things, he will run a bath for him and jes then i get kiers ready for bath and swap kids with him. so its a great help, but i do understand what your going through as i found it so frustrating first time round.
Maybe wait till she has done a poo when your hubby is home, and say look she needs changing could you please do it i really have to just go out to the shop, will be back in 10. just throw him in the deep end

Removed post.

WTF?

How about this - He helped create the kid, so he should expect to help care for the kid. What's so hard about that?

Don't like poopy diapers? Get a box of latex gloves. Sounds pretty simple to me.

It may be a case of new dad jitters - "Jeez, I'm going to drop her or something." There are three things in life that seem universal - death, taxes, and the well known substance. We all deal with 'em at some point; I'll just kinda keep that first one on the back burner for a bit yet.

Well thats how I think as well TG.However,he did say the other night,when I tried to show him. "I will change one if I need to" (me being away when she poops or something) just while I'm here he hates to do anything unpleasant.He has a very stressful job and often works 50 hrs a week from home,he is here now while he wasnt before.He just think that since he earns the money,I take care of bills,kids,n house.I said that was sexist.He offered to get us a maid.I don't want a maid.Although I am not great at housework.I also think,given the choice,he would rather hire a nanny or call his mum over than change a diaper or give the babt a bath.He gets all pissed off when I mention it.Worst thing?His gma totally agrees with this becase thats how she was raised 'servig the man" Its no ones fault and not a criticism on her,it's just how they were reaised here back then.I however,am not from here and not.

TG if you want to have a better understanding of the dynamics of our relatinship,please check the (parental relatiosnhips) chore sharing thread.or maybe it's the In laws one,I expain it all there,rather tha writing it twice.!I would love to get your take on it!

OK,I found it...If you care to read it.Sorry it's so long.

I agree mscherry,its not a question of masculinity (btw,I admire your hubby even more for what he does,couldnt pay me enough),more a question,oh helping the one you love (in this case,me)Dont get me wrong,he does once a week maybe do the dishes in the dishwasher and crush the cans for us,put out trash SOMETIMES and or mow the lawn.Apart from that steps out of his clothes ,leaves there,never wipes pee off te toilet when he gets it there.I am messy too BUT when theres a big clean up,I do 97%,he never cooks co he cant,n doesnt want to.

I know why this is,his mother and gma treat him (still) like a god.He walks in their house and offer him food/drinks.when we stay there,he takes off his clothes in the bathroomm to bathe,then walks out leaving them on the floor,gma walks in a picks up clothes,put them straight in the washer.He wakes up,gets out of bed,she makes it.Its this eternal servitude attitude to men that I can do.He wants to be able to work so I can stay home.He said that if I work,he wants it to be coz I WANT to ,this is very sweet.(I am a SAHM) btw,with a 4 yr old n a newborn,I childmind 2 other kids in the week.I am from the uk and awaiting my work permit (this is why I have not yet been able to get a real job since I have been in the states.

Anyway,I love that he loves his job and wantsto provide finacially which he does very well.He has also recently started working from home.Before he had a 2 hour commute each way,which excuses him more from houseworkBut now he is home most days,I STILL have to ask him to watch the baby while I have a shower,he gets this pissed off look on his face,Like I am asking him to get the moon for me,I do all the laundry,cooking (although I dont cook all the time) and bill paying,financial management,which I try and do,its hard for me coz I am not great with maths!

Anyway enough of my complaining,but you can see why I am a little jealous.I love my hubby for who he is,however I do sometimes need more help/support and it makes me resentful that I dont get it

As the saying goes, "do what works."

If he's willing to spring for some domestic help and your budget can handle it, now is probably a great time to get someone in for half a day a week, or maybe twice a week, to take care of vacuuming, whatever laundry needs doing, wiping down the kitchen counters, general cleaning and straightening up that can be so easy to slide. If you're the one who ends up doing all that and you have a newborn to deal with too, it's a recipe for exhaustion, resentment, isolation and depression.

So while you work on hubby to take on child rearing responsibility in a gradual way, give yourself a break and leave the cleaning to someone who can come in, be efficient, get it done, be glad to be doing it and who can then get out with a check. You may find the timing is such that the money is very well spent. Heck - he brought it up.

Agreed,he did offer BUT,to be honest,I am not doing too badly with the housework and if it were to make any differenc,ehalf a day a week would not help,it would have to be full time.Also I dont want anyone messing with my laundy (Long time child hood phobia,wont go into deats) so no one can help with thay.besides I dot ind laundry,t's really just cooking,the kitchen and the kdis that I need help with if anythingI manage w=quite well if we have a slobby day or 3 it's not the end of the world!

I just wish he would take some initiative sometimes!