Not my pain that bothers me...

So somehow Isaac got hold of a can of pop and spilled it everywhere while playing in it. I guess my rant will have to be shortened a bit because someone needs a bath now that he is a sticky mess.

So I told my husband (and promised myself) that Isaac would know all sets of grandparents. Well I didn't think that would be as hard to keep as it may be. My MIL has said some unkind things about myself to dh, which I can deal with. Not everyone can like you. But then after our wedding she jumped on my family (only telling my dh) which is wrong on so many levels but I let it go too because people do and say weird things when they are uncomfortable. So time and time again things happen and I think let it go it is your husband's mother. But I find it really difficult when she hurts him to just let it roll off my back. May she never do anything to my son because I think that is my limit.

But of course dh wants his mom to visit with Isaac and the last we saw them was over the holidays. So he invited them up because he doesn't have a lot of vacation and it takes 2 days of travel both ways let alone any additional time for a 13 month old. Well she said why don't you come here...so we looked and came back to the conclusion that he just didn't have the time to take because of travel time. Well she said that they did not have the time either so dh said sorry but we cannot come. (We invited them in the first place.) Well he doesn't hear back from her for two weeks and in the meantime I put a post a facebook saying we were looking for fireworks locally for the 4th. My family said come here (they are not local either) which made me laugh because we usually do go there which causes drama. But then my SIL said why don't you invite your inlaws up. As soon as I saw it, it felt like I was being trapped. The whole arranging of trying to find time for everyone to get together that just took place was just too much drama. And my MIL was still giving dh the silent treatment. So then out of the blue she e-mails dh today and says they are going to NJ for an anniversary can they stop on their way through. So he calls upset because not but a week ago she had no time...so where did the time come from. And to put the cherry of insult on top they are going for a week including the weekend that they couldn't make work before. So we have a wedding that we already have said we would go to and of course that is their return date when she wanted to spend the weekend here. She has yet to aknowledge or explain the sudden opening of time and I know dh feels hurt but would never tell her. I on the other hand could scream at her because she is so selfish and doesn't realize how hard he is trying to make a relationship work with her. And in the end it is me who is accused of "controlling him" and will end up with the blame of this.

Whoa! Why do our relationships with the in laws have to be so difficult. I am not going to hijack your thread by venting my own situation but let's just say I TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!! : )

I wish I had some great words of wisdom or great advice for you but I don't! I would just go ahead with your plans and not worry about them. It sounds like you and your DH are the adults here. You've invited them to your home and you tried to work with them about visiting. You've done all you can do, in my opinion.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. It's so frustrating. I'm just glad they live far away!!!!!
At least they aren't at your house all the time!!!!!! (I'm trying to find a silver lining!) : )

Thanks Lou Lou,
I look for silver linings too. Why does it have to be so difficult. I mean I really want to have a good relationship but I cannot do it on my own. She tells dh that she wants to but she certainly doesn't act it. So I figure I do it for him and hopefully someday it will all work out. Oh and you can always hijack or add in your own situation. Misery loves company.

Hi hun,dont have much time to repsond fully but I am sorry for this,I can relate and I am thinking of you,my only advice would be,try not to let it become personal.It's less dramatic that way.hugs

I just saw this.... and I can TOTALLY relate.

My parents don't do the silent treatment thing BUT.... they do come up with every excuse in the book not to come out here to visit us. My Dad actually said that it is not a vacation for him when he stays in someone else's home, and he will NEVER come to stay with us. I was shocked. He said it's inconvenient to come here and not have the freedom he would have if he were in his own home.

YA, like it's convenient for me to drag my 15 month old out of her environment and be crammed into a tiny room where she is about 1 foot away from me and wakes up 10 times a night. We made the effort last time to go and see them, and it is their turn to come see us, and I flat out told them that. In fact... my Dad offered us gas money last time we drove out there to see them, and I turned it down and asked him to spend it on a plane ticket for my mom to come see us, since she has no problem with visiting us. I have yet to hear of her booking a ticket and that was 3 months ago.

I think that it is ridiculous when people who don't have kids say they are too busy or cannot make a trip. It is WAY more inconvenient to drag a baby out of their environment, ya know??

I think that your MIL has issues, and I think that you should let her know that you will take turns visiting, and if you were the last one to visit, then it is their turn to visit. That way there is no excuse and she cannot get angry if you won't come to see them twice in a row.

I'm sorry to hear that you have a difficult situation with your in laws. That is not fun. Let us know how things turn out, we are here for you!