Being a step parent

NIce job with this forum,I think this is a very important subject.I myself am not a step parent but I know some of the peple who come on here are.My husband is a stepfather to my son.I would say it's a very ouchy subject.He loves my son like his own and my son calls him daddy.I do however,wonder and worry that our daughter will be preffered somewhow oneday because she is our biologically shared baby.I want nothing to ever hurt my sons feelings.I know this is hard to avoid in life.But I would walk through fire if it meant saving him some heartache!I'm sure most parents would

Actually this raises some thoughts that I have had recently regarding my Dad as he is a step-Dad to my sister and 3 brothers (he had me and my brother Craig with my Mum) before Theo was born there were a total of 11 grandchildren all of which are my Dad's step-grandchildren so Theo is his first biological grandchild and I can see a difference in how my Dad behaves towards Theo for starters when he saw Theo was the very first time he wiped a tear from his eye! (My Dad just doesn't cry!!)

I think that's many of our concerns Angel. I would hope that oneday if the man and I have a child, he would not treat my daughter differently after. I don't think he could, it's just not him...but you always worry about favoritism.

I would hope that if someday my X remarries (god-forbid!) that his future life partner has respect for my dd as if she were her own.
Right now the X is living with a woman, where they have a child together, but she's very jealous of my dd and the time she spends with her father. It beginning to be difficult for the 3.5 of them to get along. The new GF takes it out on the X makes my dd cry and just seems to be very protective of her own child. I've just learned all this BTW and it's leaving me feeling uneasy. She should respect and care for my dd as if she were her own - but I guess that's not going to happen. I haven't said anything to the X about my concerns, apparently he is looking for a new place to live...so now he takes dd away from her little sister. Such a shame...my poor dd.

That is so sad your daughter is going thru this.
I would say something to your X, not in a harsh way, afterall you share a child and you need to be able to speak about her and her needs etc, just mention what you have just found out, she should not have to be taken away from her sister. does the other woman realise just how far she has gone? is it possible for you to call her?
Im not sure of your situation but it could be worth a shot.

my parents divorced when i was 7, and hubbys divorced when he was 10 so between us we have a huge family and our kids have 4 grandads who all get treated the same and 2 nanas as Only my mum and hubbys mum has remarried.
My mum and dad have always got on really well and my dad has more to do with her family (sisters brothers) than what she does, also hubbys family all get on and his mum and dad are still close. The step hubbys in this family are all good and know exactly where everyone stands, it can be a bit wierd for my dads partners as they dont want him having contact with his X as its a threat, but there is no way they would ever get back together and after a while they figure it out.

It has been a lot easier on us kids growing up, we havnt felt bad or felt like we have had to choose one parent over another the only downside was if i got in trouble with one parent they would get on the phone to tell the other, there was no secrets when it came to us kids.

Well I was just informed this morning that the X and dd are moving out next week.
Apparently something happened a couple of days ago and the X is being smart about the situation. He doesn't want to see dd hurt - he really does try to treat her well.

My poor baby tho, she loves her baby sister.

I hope the X keeps his pecker in his pants so no more children have to deal with his situations. *did I say that outlound?*

3 kids by 3 women is just about enough, don't you think?

Wow Kellybean, I am sorry. Being a step-mother to my husband's 5 year old son AND having our daughter together is blessing to me. I love my step-son like he was my own, one of the reasons I fell so hard for my husband was seeing the amazing Daddy he is with my Dear step-son. I think your ex's girlfriend is a witch, and should put herself in your ex's shoes. If she begins a new relationship and has another child, would she want her new partner treating her daughter/his step daughter like crap. I doubt it.

I wish people could grow up for the sake of the child, so children can be stable and happy, even when parents split up.

My husband's ex absolutely loathes me because after we were together she decided she wanted him back, so she hates me because she is jealous. She should be thanking her lucky stars that I love her kid as much as I do!

Princess_Longbottom wrote:. I think your ex's girlfriend is a witch, !

LMAO Sorry Tiff but why don't you tell us what you really think!You make me laugh :lol:
KB,sorry to hear about the situation for you DD.I am sure that in the long run it wil make her more mature and have a better understanding of relationships and people.I know what you mean though.Wouldnt it be nice if our kids could just ne kids without havinf to be exposed to such adult crap at such a young age! I feel for you and her! hugs!

Ha ha. Sorry. That just made me so mad, Kellybean's daughter crying because of some immature idiot who feels threatened that a father loves his daughter. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Kellybean, I am glad that your ex got a clue and he is doing what is best for your DD by no longer living with this woman.

I agree.AT LEAST you say he cares about your daughter.Thats one thing a lot of mothers dont have for their kids whihc screws them up.I am glad that he makes her a priority in SOME matters

Princess_Longbottom wrote:I wish people could grow up for the sake of the child, so children can be stable and happy, even when parents split up.

I ask the same question all the time!!! Its about time some people woke up and started acting like the adults they are and start setting a good and positive example for our children!

Update:
The X is moving out this coming weekend. Apparently they will still be dating. (Which I don't understand, I mean if you can't get along with the whole family, what's the sense? But he does have a child with her too - so at least he's not abandoning that child, and she is cute!)

His GF is going to counseling and hopefully that will help with her feelings towards dd. Silly isn't it? A kid is a kid. Either you accept the whole package, or move on.

And my woman's intuition tells me this: She is an older woman, late 30's. Has a great career at Harley Davidson. Owns her own home. What's missing? A child. I think she tried to make it work, but X has definately got his faults too and I think she just used him for a baby. Who needs a man attitude. The clock was ticking, she anwered it's calling...she's moving on. *shrug*

I saw a book in barnes and noble entitled :how to divorce without scrwing up your kids" didn tlook at it,but it might be worth a read for some people LOL!

Ya, if only my husbands ex was smart enough to read anything but the effing tabloids!!!