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What do you think about a second baby shower if your second child is a different gender?

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Angel
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Post  Lily*Blossom Mon Jan 11, 2010 9:09 pm

My husband does not understand baby showers because they are not custom in Europe or the U.K. But here in the states, they are custom, and nobody sees the gifts as "handouts". My husband thinks that it's embarrassing to get all the gifts because he thinks that people shouldn't have to provide for our baby. He doesn't see the tradition and attitude behind a baby shower.

Well after the first baby shower for LM, he felt dumb enough getting all those gifts. But my mom mentioned to me that she would like to have another baby shower for me if I am having a boy. I have always given additional baby showers to friends if their second child is a different gender than their first child. However, my husband feels dumb and thinks that having a second shower if I am having a boy is taking advantage or something.

What do you ladies think???? I don't see anything wrong with having another baby shower if this second child is a boy. Plus I am not throwing myself a shower, my mom is throwing it for me.
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Post  dolly's momma Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:56 pm

You need to explain something to your husband. A baby shower is actually not about giving things to your baby. A baby shower is about letting all your friends and family live vicariously thru your pregnancy. They all get to buy a bunch of cute fun baby things and don't have to suffer thru the nine months of torture or child birth or midnight feedings or any of that.

Even before I ever had Lucy and didn't really think I even liked babies I loved going to showers cause it was a chance to buy cute baby stuff with no strings attached. Kirk's family is very big into the social things, and for them the second baby doesn't even have to be a different sex, every baby gets it's own shower.
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Post  Angel Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:31 am

I think if someone wants to give you a baby shower then bloody well have it.I think it's a lovely idea.I alsmot had one with Tia-li but the plans fell through before she was born Cry I would have relished getting baby related gifts.I attended one and my fridn got all sorts of lovely things including a gift certif to a massage place.Every little helps.It's also a nice female bonding time gets you evern more exciting abut your baby.Your husband doesnt have to go mhe can take care of LM.It's not just about him and he shouldnt be able to decide weather or not you get gifts .sorry,but it's not about male pride here.Its about sisterhood,giving,loving,celebrating the life to be and people only come to a shower if they want to and give what they want/can so it's not like you are obliging people to buy things or anything else.

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Post  Ginny Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:45 pm

omg congrats tiff!! wow, you leave for a few weeks or months and everyone is pg!!! Tongue WOw, congrats to you!!! I personally believe EVERY baby is special and should have the opportunity to receive the new clothes and stuff like the 1st child Smile/happy my sil had 2 daughters just 2 years apart and i threw her a shower for ashlynne, cuz she's special too! if someone wants to throw you one, by all means do it! i don't care what is done or not done in another country, cuz you are in the states and we have baby showers Smile/happy THANK GOODNESS!! LOL (I don't mean any disrespect to any other countries btw by saying that...im joking!!!!) its so much fun! i do feel bad for the ladies who don't have that custom cuz its so much fun and i love it! xxxx super duper congratulations tiff!!!!!! XOXOXOXOX
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Post  Lou Lou Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:07 pm

Well, maybe it's just a southern thing but down here almost everyone has a baby shower even for second and third babies!!!!!! We southern gals will use any excuse to pull out the china and host a party! Smile/happy
They are usually not as lavish as a first pregnancy but none the less, we still have them!!!!

I agree with what DM said. We women WANT to buy gifts for babies! I guess we are just hard wired for it!!!!!

You should totally have another shower - even if it's a girl!

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Post  galaxy Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:48 am

We do see them more and more in the UK but personally I love to spoil a mum to be so I wouldn't see it as providing for the baby. It's a celebration of your pregnancy and impending birth when people can give you the love and support you need. There is an old saying 'it takes a village to raise a child' and most people enjoy being able to contribute to making sure the baby has everything it needs, especially women, it is built into us biologically whether the child is ours or not. Tell him not to worry about it as like someone else said, it's a chance to live vicariously through you and not have the pregnancy pains, labour and night wakings. It's a pleasure for the people attending.
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Post  skyllar Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:49 am

I think it's fine to have a second baby shower, especially if the baby is a different gender. But even if not, if someone wants to throw you a baby shower, by all means accept it and have fun. I will not say 'no' if anyone wants to throw me a shower for this little one. So far, we haven't told anybody, so I have no idea if anybody will throw one. But also, since we moved here after Kian is born we have a whole new set of friends who might like to get together to celebrate baby. So who knows....

But I'd say definitely go for it, celebrate baby, if somebody wants to throw you a shower. Smile/happy
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