Still afraid

bethy621 Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:55 pm

a few years back I miscarried, I knew there was something wrong with me internally. It took several doctors and a few years to figure out what caused my fertility issues. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Once I changed my diet I got pregnant right away. But I still live in fear. I am 5 months along now and still on pins and needles fearing something is going to go wrong and I am going to lose my baby. I don't want to go through that pain again. Even if my baby is born healthy and alive, I am still too afraid to try for a second child one day. Am I alone in these fears? Feedback welcome.

**Lily*Blossom** Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:49 pm

Hello Bethy. Princess here, aka... Tiffany Tongue

You are absolutely not alone in your fear that you are going to lose your baby. As you know, I miscarried my first pregnancy, and the miscarriage was actually caused by a rare disorder called a partial molar pregnancy.

I actually started bleeding with my daughter in my first trimester, and thought I was going to miscarry again. It was very scary. The entire pregnancy I was so afraid of doing anything wrong or dangerous. I didn't even take tylenol when I was sick even though it is considered safe. I ended up going into early labor at 30 weeks, and had to be on bed rest until I was 36 weeks a long. It was hard.

I was a wreck. All I thought about was,"What if something goes wrong?"

Positive thinking will keep your stress levels down. Meditation helped me a lot, I would visualize my baby growing healthily, and normal. I would visualize the day I gave birth, and what it would be like to look into her eyes. It really helped keep my focused and grounded.

I also bought a device that allowed me to listen to the baby's heartbeat whenever I wanted. It really put my mind at ease Smile/happy

Just know that we are here for you, we support you, and I do totally understand your state of mind, and your fears. Miscarriage is a devastating thing. A large number of us on this site miscarried our first pregnancies, or have had multiple miscarriages only to go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies afterwards.

So glad to have you here on the site.

xxxxxoooooo

Lou Lou Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:54 pm

Nope. You are not alone. I was a nervous wreck up until they placed Owen in my arms.
The fear was overwhelming at times.

I too miscarried a baby and I do think it made me more fearful. I know it's easy for me to say, but just try to take deep breaths and think positively!!!!! I'm sure everything is going to be just fine!!!!!!

Are you having a boy or girl or are you going to be surprised?!!!

**Lily*Blossom** Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:22 pm

bethy621 wrote: Even if my baby is born healthy and alive, I am still too afraid to try for a second child one day. Am I alone in these fears?

I wanted to comment on this portion of your post. I totally felt the same way. But once you hold that healthy baby in your arms, it gives you a whole new strength of, "I did it."

I will worry the next time around (we are hoping for an October 2010 baby) but having my daughter already in my life gives me strength, and I know that even if I were to lose another pregnancy, I would get through it knowing that I have the blessing of my beautiful daughter that I baked to perfection for 8.5 months Smile/happy

I believe that the first pregnancy I miscarried was actually my daughters soul, but she needed a healthy body to come into, and the second pregnancy I had was the same soul/spirit, just with a healthy body.

Your perspective will change a lot once you hold that perfect little girl in your arms Wink

**Angel** Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:00 pm

Hell hun!First off I mjust commend you on your being aware of changing your diet and reaping the benifits of your bodys wonderful abilities.Secondly in relation to this point,I would like to say that from what I am sudying about food and the effects on yours healhty that f you eat as much raw organic produce as possible,along with not too much dairy and not too much meat and if you can completely eliminate (if you havn't already) any colours,flavours,preservatives,,your body will continue to do what it's designed to do which is thrive,reproduce and heal itself. Smile/happy

There are also a few other things to bear in mind,one you are past the initial 'danger' period (12-13 weeks) and well into your second trimestre,second trimestre miscarriages are REALLY rare and almost ALL of them (in the second tri) are caused by the same thing ; incompitent cervix,I think it's a bit of an insulting term personally but in a nutshell it means your cervix is weak and any pressure on it causes it to dialate and for the mother to go into labour.As long as you are checked once in a while it's fairly easy to detect it and you would have found out by now for sure.Even with this condition MC is preventable now,they will put a cerclage (something to stop the cervix dialating) in and leave it for the remainder of the pregnancy to be safe but eother way,the chances of you MC now are so SO low.I know one can't get rid of all of those fears at once,especially if it's happened before.

What I would reccomned from a totally non professional point of view is maybe some hypnotherapy,it's very effective helping you release old anxietys and also any upcoming feats.Also,trust in yourself and your body.You already overcame your temporary infertility by choosing to change your diet and now your are probably way better in sync which is what allowed your body to do it's job and GETpregnant and get this far with no problems.Now you just have to keep doing what you're doing,try and turn your thoughts around to the more positive side.Perhaps distract yourself with preparing for the positive things,pick out colours,baby clothes.I dont believe in that supstition crap pesonally about not getting stuff for the baby,it's an important part of menatally preapring and getting excited IMO :)I believe if you can immerse yourself in that it will help you get excited rather than sit in fear of soemthing happening.Anyway,there are people there who can help and support (us included of course) and help alleviate these fears but unless you have a real medical problem and a reason to fear then try not to let it darken your days and instead embrace the wonderful thing that is going on right now and the amazing power of your body and it's abilitues,wow I sound like a deranged hippy don't I? LOL.

Anyway,you're doing so great,you have come so far and like I said you have made the right decisions to enable yourself to be pregnant.I hope you can trust in yourself and keep strong.We're all here if you need to vent or some reassurence!big hugs

bethy621 Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:13 pm

Thank you so much for all your support. I really needed this. I'm not getting the support I need from the people around me at home, except my husband. Thanks Princess/Tiff for encouraging me to join this site, and I remember your miscarriage and how much you struggled. Thank you for being here for me with your loving and supportive words. You are a great friend and I miss you a ton. I will focus on thinking positively and eating well. It's such a relief to know I have good positive people to talk to. Thanks again!

Sponsored content

Still afraid

Still afraid

Re: Still afraid

Re: Still afraid

Re: Still afraid

Re: Still afraid

Re: Still afraid

Re: Still afraid