Playing Favorites?

I don't really expect anyone to admit it if you have favorites among your children (many of you have just 1 right now anyway), but how common is playing favorites?

We have friends/neighbors with 3 children. The twins (boy/girl) are 4 and their little brother is 2. Hubby and I freely admit that the little girl is our favorite. Her twin just seems slow and stupid compared to her (they've actually had him tested) and the youngest just kinda sits around being entertained by watching his older siblings. But the little girl is cute, bright, good speech for her age, nice personality, better behaved, etc. She's our favorite, but hey, we're just friends.

But....she seems to be the favorite of their dad's too. He'll do things with her, take her places, but leave the boys at home. He seems to spend more time with her than the other two. Another friend pointed this out to us, and that's when we really recognized it. My hubby thinks the two boys might end up resenting their sister and their father, even at their young ages, unless something changes.

Thoughts? Experiences?

obviously i cant play favorites yet lol! i really hope i dont when i have both kids too.

but, when i was out visiting my sister i saw how bad she was with this. she has two boys skyler (6 years old) and ashton (4 years old). she was constantly yelling at skyler, giving him all the chores and responsibilities "since hes older and bigger" and it seemed that no matter how badly ashton behaved, he could do no wrong. i felt really bad. especially since ashton was being a total brat, which seemed normal since he is never punished. she actually called him "angel face" while i was there and i think i gagged a little lol.

i have no idea what will happen when the baby girl is in the mix... maybe its a trend that the youngest is the angel? i dont know, maybe ashton will still be top dog even then. shes due in less than a week so i guess we will find out...

but seeing that in cali when i was visiting made me very sad, and made me aware that i hope i can treat my kids as equally as possible.

I have a total harmony side to my personality. I want to make sure that when I have more than one child at home, that they all feel special and loved. I will not be harder on one child than on the other. I will make sure that I take time out for one on one time with each child.

My mom was so awesome at making sure that we were all treated fairly by her. She made sure that we each got some new clothes when the new school year rolled around. She always made sure that we got the same treats, etc. My Dad was not fair. I was the oldest, and he treated me like crap, vented all his frustrations on me, blamed me for everything. My sister was considered the golden child as far as her behavior. I was always smart and sassy, and because I would question my father's idiotic behavior (he is manic/depressive and refuses to take medication), I was called a "difficult" child. As a small child, my Dad would actually tell me that if I didn't turn over a new leaf, that he would put my face on a milk carton so everyone could see me, and someone would come and adopt me and take me away.

What can I say, he had/has issues. Thank GOD I turned out like my Mom. I look back now, and I know that I wasn't the perfect child, but I wasn't THAT bad. Therefore, it is going to be my goal in life that all of my kids are treated equally.

So Beth... I think that obviously, these aren't your kids you are posting about... so it's okay to interact more with the girl than the boys. However... as for their parents. Those kids will be really messed up if they don't make an attempt to show individual attention to all of the children, AND, although the daughter may have the spunkier and more magnetic personality, they still need to let their sons know how much they are loved.

We had friends sorta like that. Their older daughter ''Hollie'' was the perfect child, and the much more intelligent younger daughter ''Heather'' was the problem child. And their mom would call them that right in front of them and was very blatant. Hollie could do no wrong, and had daddy wrapped around her little finger. No matter how hard Heather tried she could never do good enough. And they could not understand why the poor girl had self esteem issues. Long story but we are no longer friends with them.

Well,this is a concern for me,not from me.But from my family or in laws.I am VERY aware of the fact that Teo is not only 'from another father',but a boy,he had HAD behaviour problems which never helps,in contrast his baby sister is an ANGEL,she's a girl,she's the youngest.I have expressed my concerns to hubby that I don't want her to be the favourtie with ANYONE.It annoys me that when we go and stay with my mil and gmil,gmil,will sit and fuss over and play with the baby,it's almost obsessive and only really talk to Teo if he comes to her.She's not mean to him or anything,but it abundently clear to me and therefor possibly to my son,that the baby can do no wrong and is adorable,where as he...whatever.I'm sure that this would be argued if I were to say something but I sense it.It's very difficult to watch,I am very glad she loves the baby and gives her endless attention,but if you're gonna doit to one,make a big fuss of the other.I mean,she'll sit with this baby and feed her,talk to her,try and play with her litteraly for hours until the baby wants me or sleeps.I know she's trying to get her time in because we've moved but she was like it when we lived closer too.Almost to the point where it was bizzare.Also,when she was first born (and didn't mind who held her) she would hold the baby (come n take her from me) and just sit with her in the rocking chair,again until she was screaming for me.I found it annoying and a bit disrespectful.All she wanted to do was hold the baby,Teo would get a brief hello and then it was 'baby baby baby' she said something once about how well,we can't pay attnention to Teo like the baby,it's not the same' I am not quite sure what that meant?Either way,I am feircly protective and aware of it.

I am like Tiff when trying to make everyone feel loved,special and respected as equal as possible.I am accutely aware that if a child feels,unloved,unfairly treated or rejected in anyway,it can result in them being very angry and having issues later in life,even resulting in debilitating complexes and conditions.It's IMO the worst thing you can openly do and even if you feel one way,you should try and treat everyone the same and be very aware of your words and actions.Make each child feel specila and give them ALL individual/special time with you alone and as a family.Don't buy one a gift for no reason and leave the other one out,dont' openl praise one and criticise the other and don't use them as comparisons of ech other.I hope that in doing this,I will have to happy, and well loved,secure kids.Unlike me,it tooke me a long time to get over some of this treatment,it wasn't extreme but I was very sensitive and it followed me into adulthood.