Its Over :(

Hey everyone. Well as you might of noticed i havnt been on here as much, i get on the computer for 10 mins to check email and facebook and thats about it, My life has been full of dramas the last few months and i have finally sorted it out.
Me and hubby have decided to seperate. I am in the process of finding a rental house and getting on the domestic purposes benefit. He moved out for a week so we could have some space and came back 2 days ago. we had a huge talk well lots of talks over that week and decided that all it has been for the last year is a friendship and we are just 2 parents living in the same house. if we try and make our marriage work at this stage we will probably end up resenting each other so we agreed that we should try and save what we have now and that is a really good friendship. He will see the kids daily and have them overnight every second weeked. I am actually not sad and have been happier than what i have been in a long time. I am looking forward to becoming independent again as some of you will know what the situation has been like for me with him having full control over everything.
Please dont say anything on facebook as only our immediate family knows we havnt told friends yet.
Anyway just wanted to keep you all in the loop so when moving day comes i will be without a computer for a couple of days...
anyway better get going and get the kids started for the day. talk soon, hopefully you will see more of me again!!!!!

hun i am sorry, but i am glad you are happy and you both sound like you have made a mature decision together, i hope it goes smoothly and ok for you xoxoxoxo

Thanks nicki
We are actually getting on a lot better, sounds crazy aye? But we are on good terms and just gonna be best mates, if it turns into more later on thats great but if it doesnt at least we still have a close friendship. so everything is positive!!!

Thanks Sparkles. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted to be honest, i feel great, i know that sounds wrong but honestly i didnt realise how unhappy i was until we decided to have time apart! the kids are much happier and their behaviour has changed for the good soo much also

Oh mum i am sorry to hear that this happened, but i hope that everything works out and that your whole family will be happier by this. when parents aren't happy, neither are kids. i am glad that youa re doing what is right for you. XXXXXX

Oh hun, I'm sooo sorry Glad you are both on good terms though, that's the best for you both and the kids. You will certainly feel better on your own, especially knowing that you are both still good friends, is better then having a bitter separation. Thinking of you and your family (((hugs)))

I'm sorry for all you have gone through this year, but I am also happy for you that you are happy. I think you've been struggling with this situation for a long time, I know you've been stressed and wishing for change for a long time now. Sometimes people just grow apart, and I think you have a very good attitude about the whole thing, and you and the kids' father are being very mature. If you can co-parent and stay united as far as how you raise the kids, then not only will your kids be happy, stable, and well adjusted, but you will be happy as well.

Your attitude is something that my hubby and I can only dream of as far as his ex wife's behavior about custody, contact, etc.

Good job keeping it real. We are here for you.

Mum, I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through all of this lately but am glad you have been able to resolve it. You sound good and at peace which is definitely better for you and the kids. Take care and come back and chat when you can.

Heart breaking Mum of JJ, but I'm glad you are happy with the decision and that it is amicable for the sake of the children!

I missed you honey!I am glad you have come to a mutual and friendly decision.I am sure you will be both be able to move on while maintaining a fair relastionship with the kids and living your own lives.I hope you can finally find some happiness hun,you deserve it!Love ya xxx

Holi, i have missed you too babe!! Thankyou to everyone for your support.
At the moment i am in the process of finding a house, might have one so hopefully hear back this arvo! As soon as i get a house i get to go furniture shopping! looking forward to that part. The hardest part is trying to get the money side of things sorted, child support benefits etc, having a bit of trouble with the inland revenue dept who are the tax company who collects the child support, they are just a bunch of a**holes who only care about getting money not if you can afford to survive or anything like that. otherwise things are ok, its been a bit hard as me and the kids have all had a really awful tummy bug and daryns family have turned completley against me which is nothing lost really and with being in a small town the rumours have already been flung around, in the past month ive apparantly been doinfg a builder, a rugby player, a mystry man (who is actually my cousin) and a fishing schooler, so i have been a busy girl by the ounds of things! small town crap, dont really need it! would love to leave this town....any offers?? haha
Will keep you posted anyway xx

Oh Mum, I missed this post earlier....so sorry to hear your news, but like everyone said, sounds like you and DH have made a mature decision to separate before things got really bitter. I wish you strength to set up your new household and move forward. ((HUGS))

PS: I had actually been thinking of you lately and hoping everything was ok.

T,come to NC and bring the kids,start a new life LOL! I wish you could! Sorry about all the goss,it never helps,hope it rolls off your back,I know it used to get to me a lot!

Mum, I am sorry to see that ppl are being total assholes but in a small town that's what happens. When I started dating ray, (at work), i had ovarian cysts and had to get ultrasounds, so the secrets were I was pg and that's why he was getting a divorce..when actuality we were really just friends going thru something sorta similar...of course that changed very QUICKLY as I realized that i wanted to be with him...but no matter where you are there are gonna be assholes who are bored and want to spread rumors. My friend Norma said all those ppl were just bored of their own lives sitting at home, watching tv everynight and needed some sparks so they chose to pick on me Same goes for you! XXXXX

As for the separation and the kids, let me tell you, we get along VERY well with dh's ex. She is a wonderful person and we are very close. They talk some too, obviously, but me and her are closer Blaine was only 15 months old when they split, and let me tell you, he is SO very well adjusted and the absolute SWEETEST boy you'd ever meet. He will hug EVERYONE that is in my family, his stepdad's family, friends, and I think its cuz he was introduced to such a wide variety of ppl when his parents split. He gets A's in school, he got the Best All Over Award (citizenship, grades, etc), and I am so proud of him!!!!! He is just the sweetest and most well rounded kid! His sister (not ray's) was 4 when they split and she did just fine also. She loved Ray but when her mom left, it didn't phase her really and she is really doing well now too So, try to think of some positive stories like this if you ever get down or worried. I have heard that the eariler the better when divorcing and with Blaine I think that is proof. He doesn't know it any other way and he is just happy to have us ALL in his life and we are so grateful to have him. He is truly a blessing

Love to you and your family!! XXXX

I would love to come live there holi, my gosh how much fun would we have!!!! lol
Ginny....You are such an amazing woman and i thankyou so much for giving me a positive side to all this! things at the moment are going really well and hubby and I are getting on really great as friends, he is supportive and even coming furniture shopping with me tomorrow! everyone else in the town seems like they are taking sides with either him or me, but funny thing is everyone is only going by rumours as no one officially knows we have seperated except you guys and our family whcih havnt said a word! no one knows i am moving out, its quite funny especially when we go up town together with the kids and all these people do a double take! hehe, we are the ones laughing at the mo. But yea, its seems like everyone has their opinions on what we should be doing, whos side they are on etc and its got nothing to do with anyone else except me and Daryn so i dont know what everyones problem is, ah well i think they just need to build a bridge!
Anyway more positive news!!!!! I GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! should be in there within a week so i will take photos, its gorgeous! its a brand spanking new 3 bedrm house, fully fenced, very small section but that ok, large living area, huge master bedrm, huge double garage! and very sunny and its a back section so dont need to worry about noise of traffic! so going to get furniture tomorrow, need a lounge suite dining suite bdrm suite and lots more!!!!

Good news about the house Mum and about you and Daryn getting on so well. I hope you will find happiness from now on! I really do wish you all the best! I totally agree with Ginny by the way in that anyone who is gossiping about you is very narrow minded and have nothing more interesting going on in their lives. It's times like these when you find your real friends as anyone who is a true friend will not judge either of you or take sides.

Youre right Emma, I have been trying to look on the positive side of it and while they are talking about me, they are leaving some other poor bugger alone. But where it is actually coming from is the pub where i use to drink at, and these girls have been up to no good with the male guests for years, hence the reason i stay away, so they are just talking about me to cover them selves up. but it all good, i know at the end of the day what the truth is.