So Hubby wrote me this letter.

I love my DH to bits. However, I have been feeling like since we moved to the states he has been really down in the dumps. He has been really unhappy, missing his son, and although we get along pretty well, we have had more arguments than usual. It was really tough on our marriage living at my parents for 10 months. We had little to no privacy, and he just felt really ashamed as a man because he felt terrible that he couldn't provide enough money for us to have our own place.

He promised that once we moved to Arizona and out of my parent's home, that things with him would instantly be fixed, that he would be back to his old cheerful thoughtful self again. I told him that I was worried, because deep rooted emotional issues don't just change with a re-location.

I was right. He was still being short, and grumpier than usual. Yesterday morning, I got up and made breakfast, and instead of coming out of our room and thanking me and kissing me on the cheek, he says,"What's that banging?"
The banging was me cracking the eggs. It really hurt my feelings. I was just trying to do something nice.

I came out of the baby's room from putting her down to sleep, and he had closed his eyes and I thought he was no longer watching the program, so I sat down at the computer where the movie was playing, and he snapped at me, telling me that he was not sleeping. I asked him what his problem was, and he said, "You are."

I had NO idea what to think. I basically just let it all out, that I am tired of his pouting and the fact that he beats himself up so bad when things aren't as perfect money-wise as they should be. I told him that if he wants to be happy, then he needs to choose to be, because life will never be perfectly in order, and if he is thinking that he needs everything in order before he can be happy, then he will always be miserable. I also told him that I am so sorry that his son is so far away from him in England, I asked him if he wanted to move back there, and he said that he didn't, that America is the place for us. I told him that I miss how things were between us in England, we were so happy, we seriously RARELY argued and even when we did, it was barely a disagreement. We'd talk it over and laugh about it. I also pointed out, that every time he hurts me, or I feel I need to talk, he straightaway shuts down, and tells me,"He's not in the mood for relationship talk."
I told him that if we don't start talking about things, that our marriage will break down, that I will just eventually feel completely cut off from him.

Well I woke up this morning, and there was a sealed envelope waiting for me at the computer. It was a two page letter about how he is so sorry, that he thought about everything I said, and that I am his whole world. He even (FINALLY) recognized that he was being very self centered, and focusing on everything that was not going well in his life, and feeling very sorry for himself. He just realized that he needs to make a change, that he is so lucky to have me, and his final paragraph really touched me. I wanted to share.

"I want you to know that after reflecting I realized I need to lower my self orientation and increase my devotion to you, because were are meant to be together forever. God put me on a path that led me to you, and in you I found the woman that I love and want to be with forever, and cherish your devotion to me forever. I am yours, do with me as you please.
Forever in love- J "

OK, so I am just in awe. He has never done anything like this before. We have had many talks, it seems sometimes to be a broken record, but for some reason, last night he totally had a change of heart, and I just love this letter.

I just wanted to share, because I know that so many of us struggle, and wonder if things will ever change or get better, and sometimes we don't really have any more hope of this change.

I want you all to know, that there is hope in this world, that if we keep believing, keep serving the one's we love, that whatever higher being you believe in, whether it be God, Jesus, Buddha, Karma..... that your higher being will bless your life, and that happiness will come back around to you.

awww Tiff, thats beautiful!! thank you so much for sharing! im sooo happy for you that he came around and things are looking up now!! :lol:

Thanks Tiff,that is beautiful!I am going to post a poem of mine about relationships!I love words and how we can choose to use them to make someone smile.

Wow, that is an awesome letter. I am so glad you said those things to him, and he went off and thought about it. The result is amazing. Thanks for sharing it.

Tiff -- what a nice letter your DH wrote. Wonderful!! It seems like you were able to work things out and talking about it helped. Yay We had some rough patches ourselves and it is sooooo nice to read how other couples work it out and get through it. Very inspiring.

My dumb self just found this post, and I am sitting here crying. That was so beautiful. It's those things that help us be strong and keep pushing on to help our relationships grow stronger and brighter. Thanks for sharing.

That's beautiful Tiff! Beautiful for you in the context of your relationship, and in the greater scheme of things for everyone. In terms of my own life it's nice to read something that takes you out of yourself for a few minutes and allows you to see that no matter how bad you think things are, you still have the capacity to be happy. I know I really need that right now with everything I have going on. Thank you

Bryony. I hope that things get easier for you soon. I don't know everything you are going through, but just know that we are here for you if you need to talk about anything.