what do i need to know???

sapphire Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:44 am

Okay, so you all know by now that I just got a BFP and am still in a fair bit of shock, but I can tell it's sinking in. I am very interested in nutrition by nature - the effect of what we put into our bodies, for better & worse, is fascinating to me. So now that I have a BFP my mind is racing and I have all kinds of questions ... funny since during the past 2 years ttc I learned so much about pregnancy from the forums and thought I had a good idea of the do's & don'ts!

I did stop by the pharmacy and this really nice pharmacist told me loads about prenatals and how to choose one, so I feel good about what I have. I took the first one tonight! She was cute and I could tell she was excited for me and thought it was funny that I told her I wasn't sure if I was pregnant one minute and mentioned a positive test the next!

So here are my first few questions:
-what about caffiene and coffee? I usually have a big mug of coffee each morning and probably should slowly wean off that I think? Is it a big deal?
-what kinds of teas - black, green, herbal - are safe?
-what's the most important food to avoid? I went out for dinner tonight and ordered a beef, but found myself asking for it to be well done (so no pink inside) and no mayo on this other part of the meal (in case there's raw eggs). My mind was RACING at the restaurant trying to remember what the heck I'm supposed to avoid!!!
-what should I ask my doctor on Friday?
-what about exercise? I typically do a variety of weights and then some form of cardio at the gym, but I don't want to overdo it ... but I don't know what overdoing would look like?
-I was thinking of getting a flu shot - is that off limits now or would it be smart?
-what should I really be focusing on right now to take care of myself? what's the most important thing or things I should do?

i feel really unprepared as silly as that sounds!!! I know this is a huge amount of questions so feel free just to answer one or two if you can! It doesn't help that there's no one here, not even DH yet, that I can talk to!!!

sparkles Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:24 am

sapphire wrote:So here are my first few questions:
-what about caffiene and coffee? I usually have a big mug of coffee each morning and probably should slowly wean off that I think? Is it a big deal?
-what kinds of teas - black, green, herbal - are safe?
-what's the most important food to avoid? I went out for dinner tonight and ordered a beef, but found myself asking for it to be well done (so no pink inside) and no mayo on this other part of the meal (in case there's raw eggs). My mind was RACING at the restaurant trying to remember what the heck I'm supposed to avoid!!!
-what should I ask my doctor on Friday?
-what about exercise? I typically do a variety of weights and then some form of cardio at the gym, but I don't want to overdo it ... but I don't know what overdoing would look like?
-I was thinking of getting a flu shot - is that off limits now or would it be smart?
-what should I really be focusing on right now to take care of myself? what's the most important thing or things I should do?

i feel really unprepared as silly as that sounds!!! I know this is a huge amount of questions so feel free just to answer one or two if you can! It doesn't help that there's no one here, not even DH yet, that I can talk to!!!

OK hun i felt the same so dont worry
Its all personall choices however, i didnt have any caffine for at least the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy then i would allow myself one a day ( but i think they say 3 a day is ok )
just also keep in mind that cola and chocolate have caffine in them too, so if you drink a coke i would prob only have one coffeee etc but again thats up to you
I dont know about tea i dont drink it

foods to avoid- yeah bloody meat ( which killed me as I LOVE medium rare)
raw or soft eggs
Soft cheeses or unpasterised cheese
meats from the deli due to handling- off the boone is fine i think
pre made salads- listeria and processed meats -salami etc
mayo if made with raw egg ( shop stuff was fine here)
gosh thats all i can think of ........
i was strict for first half and then let go a bit

Excercise is actually good, just not TOO physical - or dont bring yourself into a boiling sweat

I dont know too much about the flu shot but i know they dont reccomend having immunisations here when your pregnant

i would definatly take a pregnancy vitamin, elivate something with folate in it!!!

Also avoid HOT baths or showers esp in the first 3 months, just dont have them hotter than your own body temperature- avoid public spas/saunas

thats all i can think of off the top of my head!!

You will get lots of info at your first hospital appointment, we got a bag of goodies and info etc.

good luck hun xoxoox and feel free to ask anything

Helen Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:18 am

What sparkles said hun, also here, I'm not sure where you are, but my midwife told me if the egg is lion stamped then you can have the yolk runny, I still haven't as I don't like them runny anyway, but do check that with your midwife as others may say things differently.

Caffine, I was told 6 cups of tea and coffee combined a day.

**Angel** Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:44 am

Hey sapphire,welcome and I am SO pleased you got your BFP

.Here are some things that you might like to know.Firstly one thing to bear in mind.When it comes to food,depending on the country you are in,you will hear MANY comflictig thigns from drs and people,strangers alike. Some people will tell you never to eat fish ,others will tell you to eat lots.There are reasons behind all of these things.

Here are some 'general' things I have found to be true in europe AND the US that make sense.

* Stay away from raw,uncooked meats,this is because of a bacteria called listeria which can also be found in soft cheeses or fermeting matter.DOn't be afraid to have your steak,just make sure it's well done.Also watch for deli meats,they can harbour a bacteria because of the environment they are in.You do need protein though so don't be freaked out and stop eating meat becaise of what you hear.

As for fish,it IS very good for ,containing protiens,omega 3 and valuable oils which are GREAT for fetal brain development.Fish high in mercury - avoid high-mercury fish such as Shark, Swordfish, King Mackerel and Tilefish. Also limit fish intake to no more than 2 servings per week. Otherwise,do eat some fish at least if you can! Smile/happy

*Raw eggs - raw eggs may contain salmonella. Some Caesar salad dressings, mayonnaise, homemade ice cream and custards as well as Hollandaise sauces may be made with raw eggs. It is best to check with your server in a restaurant; if in doubt, it is best to avoid it. In addition, unpasteurized eggnog should be avoided

These are the main ones,apart from this you are pretty much ok.You will probably hear many more 'old wives tales' and you will get much unsolicited advice from EVERYONE who knows you are pregnant,do your research and stick with the proven facts! Smile/happy

ON that note,here are some books you may enjoy;

"What to expect when expecting" is the biggest one.It has most of the questions you will ask during the pregnancy,including when you 'should' get appointments,what you should be tested for and why.Just please remember that these all just guidlines.Some say you SHOULD get shots during pregnancy,I am of the opionion that you shouldnt have any shots while pregnant,the medical worls may disagree.but my midwife (she has 1o kids and 30 years exeprience in 'natural' birth and pregnancy) was horrified when she found out my clinic had tried to get me to have a flu shot,my tetanus booster AND a hep B shot while I was pregnant.She said, "why not just wait until the baby's born" They try and tell you that it doesnt affect the baby,but EVERYTHING you ingest goes (to some extent ) throught the placenta,it's not a fliter like on a ciggarette.I am not trying to influence you or sound like a hippy it just makes sense.

Other than that,I have done a LOT of research and read many studies and I have seen,experiencesd and explored both natural and a medical (hospital) births and If you would like me to find out for you.I would be glad to try and answer any questions for you that I can.I am not trying to sound like a know-it-all (hope I don't come off that way) but I have seen another side to pregnancy and birth.This is a VERY medicated country and the more natural things are sort of frowned upon or seen as 'medieval'.Just let me know if you want to know more.I know it's probably still sinking on right now so take your time to absorb it,maybe get a book? Smile/happy

Congrats once again

kellybean Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:39 am

Congrats sapphire! babydust

I bet you're as excited as can be.
I was also told to avoid tunafish while pregnant b/c of high mercury levels.
And I personally wouldn't get a flu shot, but definately ask your doctor.
I exercised most of my pregnancy, just take it slow, maybe ease up on the weights a bit.

Myste Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:56 am

Congratulations Sapphire! I was so excited for you when you posted the news!

As far as coffee, I was told to keep it under 300mg, less is better. I limit myself to 1 bottled frappuccino or doubleshot (90 and 150mg caffeine each) per day, which leaves some wiggle room for chocolate or if I get a hankering for some pepsi later in the day. Everyone's pretty much covered the rest as far as foods and exercise.

Oh, and the flu shot, I've heard it was actually advised to get one during pregnancy - I haven't gotten one as I've only had the flu once in my entire life - 2 weeks after getting a flu shot! and basically won't unless the dr. tells me I have to.

I also second the recommendation for the "what to expect" book. I read the entire thing!

sapphire Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:04 pm

thank you thank you thank you!!! sparkles, helen, angel, kellybean, myste, you ladies gave me so much and it's awesome!! Sparkles & angel you went to so much trouble to post all that!! Everything makes sense and I'll keep those tips in mind. Angel, you're right that I should just get one book and start reading, I might do that after work. You didn't come across as a know-it-all at all, please don't worry. I agree with you, really, and I know already I'm going to be ultra-cautious what goes into my body now. My only thought about the flu shot is that I *think* I heard that getting the flu at a particular point in pregnancy has been linked to schizophrenia or something similar in the child later on ... made me wonder if a flu shot was worth it. I really should have just gotten one a few weeks ago!!! Duh

I have dinner with another girlfriend tonight (I've tried to keep busy while DH is out of town!) and I'm really torn about whether or not to tell her ... she's known about everything from the very beginning and has been one of my best supports (aside from my online friends of course!). She'd be one of the very few friends I'd want to tell early, but I just don't feel right telling anyone before DH ... but I don't know if I can hide it from her either! I almost cancelled dinner tonight b/c I was so torn about it!! ah well, hopefully either I can keep a good poker face through dinner or DH will understand if I spill ...

I will be back with more questions for sure, thank you all so much again! I think I would have lost my mind the last couple days if it weren't for you.

**Georgi** Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:19 am

Sapphire, I just wanted to say to you that as your pregnancy progresses you will have many more questions, gosh nearly everyday something new happens as your baby grows PLEASE no matter how silly your question may seem to you just ask us and we will be here to help, I bought loads of Pregnancy books but still found so much comfort in putting questions to the other ladies on the boards as I felt they could give me a true account of what to expect, the books although packed with tons of useful stuff don't always give you the anwer you are looking for and that is simply because we are all different and what one women experiences will/might be quite different to another!!

Also in regards to telling your friend before hubby.....my Mum and best friend knew before I told hubby as I tested the day before our wedding anniversary with my Mum present (obviously not actually in the loo with me when I pee'd on the stick LOL) and I instantly phoned my BF as she bought the test for me, I wanted however to save the BIG announcement for my hubby until our special day. I never felt guilty that they knew B4 hubby because no reaction quite compares to your partners reaction. The choice is yours I managed to keep it a secret from work colleagues and some not so close friends BUT those who really knew me, knew something was different and they asked me and what could I say..................I was grinning from ear to ear!!!! So even though you 'might' try and hold back from telling her, she may suspect!!! GOOD LUCK!!

**ANMSMITH** Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:56 am

YAY!! Saphire!!! so excited for you babe!! the girls seemed to have nailed most of it! RE the Flu shot, I have NEVER had the FLU but also do not normally get a flu vaccine but because of how ill ( m ost pregnant woman who get the flu end up hospitalized) I did talk to my Dr and it is advised to get the flu vaccine if you will be pregnant durring flu vaccine, talk to your Dr about it when you go in sweety!

Again I am so so happy for you!!

Ginny Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:42 am

sapphire wrote:Okay, so you all know by now that I just got a and am still in a fair bit of shock, but I can tell it's sinking in. I am very interested in nutrition by nature - the effect of what we put into our bodies, for better & worse, is fascinating to me. So now that I have a my mind is racing and I have all kinds of questions ... funny since during the past 2 years ttc I learned so much about pregnancy from the forums and thought I had a good idea of the do's & don'ts!

I did stop by the pharmacy and this really nice pharmacist told me loads about prenatals and how to choose one, so I feel good about what I have. I took the first one tonight! She was cute and I could tell she was excited for me and thought it was funny that I told her I wasn't sure if I was pregnant one minute and mentioned a positive test the next!

So here are my first few questions:
-what about caffiene and coffee? I usually have a big mug of coffee each morning and probably should slowly wean off that I think? Is it a big deal?
-what kinds of teas - black, green, herbal - are safe?
-what's the most important food to avoid? I went out for dinner tonight and ordered a beef, but found myself asking for it to be well done (so no pink inside) and no mayo on this other part of the meal (in case there's raw eggs). My mind was RACING at the restaurant trying to remember what the heck I'm supposed to avoid!!!
-what should I ask my doctor on Friday?
-what about exercise? I typically do a variety of weights and then some form of cardio at the gym, but I don't want to overdo it ... but I don't know what overdoing would look like?
-I was thinking of getting a flu shot - is that off limits now or would it be smart?
-what should I really be focusing on right now to take care of myself? what's the most important thing or things I should do?

i feel really unprepared as silly as that sounds!!! I know this is a huge amount of questions so feel free just to answer one or two if you can! It doesn't help that there's no one here, not even DH yet, that I can talk to!!!

OMG NO I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!! OMG CONGRATULATIONS SAPPHIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jump

sapphire Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:45 pm

thanks Georgi! I appreciate that, but I think I managed to keep it in. She had a lot to share with me, so I tried to keep the conversation on her. I *did* however have to ask about raw eggs in a salad dressing - we always go to the same restaurant and always spilt this one salad to start, so when I asked and the server said there were raw eggs in the dressing (I got a different dressing on the side then), she looked concerned and was like "umm, we've had this so many times before, is that okay?" I just said it was fine and changed the subject ... good thing she's never been pregnant or ttc or that would have been a dead giveaway!!!! I think she doesn't suspect - but I have this fear that today she's telling someone how her friend suddenly cared about raw eggs in a salad dressing and someone else will tell her it's probably b/c I'm pregnant! Crazy I know. Anyway, I plan to see her next week to tell her after DH knows!

Ash, thanks for your input on the flu shot. I'm really torn about it so will for sure speak with my doctor and probably do some googling on that.

Ginny, you crack me up Smile/happy

But I'm so glad you came and saw the news. I have the whole long version written elsewhere, I'd love to share the whole story with you if you're interested!

ONE HOUR EXACTLY til I meet DH at the coffee shop with the gift (including a digital test that says PREGNANT!). I am so nervous and don't even know why. I just knew this day may never come and I really can't believe what I'm about to do - it will make it so much more real to tell someone in person this news. I'm so nervous!!!

**Georgi** Fri Nov 14, 2008 4:18 pm

Awwwwww Sapphire, please come back and tell us how he reacts and of course how you react to his reaction!!! x x x EXCITING!!!

Ginny Fri Nov 14, 2008 4:45 pm

sapphire wrote:thanks Georgi! I appreciate that, but I think I managed to keep it in. She had a lot to share with me, so I tried to keep the conversation on her. I *did* however have to ask about raw eggs in a salad dressing - we always go to the same restaurant and always spilt this one salad to start, so when I asked and the server said there were raw eggs in the dressing (I got a different dressing on the side then), she looked concerned and was like "umm, we've had this so many times before, is that okay?" I just said it was fine and changed the subject ... good thing she's never been pregnant or ttc or that would have been a dead giveaway!!!! I think she doesn't suspect - but I have this fear that today she's telling someone how her friend suddenly cared about raw eggs in a salad dressing and someone else will tell her it's probably b/c I'm pregnant! Crazy I know. Anyway, I plan to see her next week to tell her after DH knows!

Ash, thanks for your input on the flu shot. I'm really torn about it so will for sure speak with my doctor and probably do some googling on that.

Ginny, you crack me up But I'm so glad you came and saw the news. I have the whole long version written elsewhere, I'd love to share the whole story with you if you're interested!

ONE HOUR EXACTLY til I meet DH at the coffee shop with the gift (including a digital test that says PREGNANT!). I am so nervous and don't even know why. I just knew this day may never come and I really can't believe what I'm about to do - it will make it so much more real to tell someone in person this news. I'm so nervous!!!

yes sapphire!!! please!!! lol

sapphire Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:44 pm

just got home so wanted to write a quick note. Hubby was in shock, but I think secretly suspected something was up. Poor guy was exhausted, had just got out of the car from driving for 3+ hours to get home, and then was dropped this bombshell!! And he was a bit late so we had to go STRAIGHT to the doctor's ... he was in a total daze the whole appt. He looked a bit stunned when the doctor said I was just around or over 4 weeks, so she explained that to him.

We just got home and he's unloading his stuff from the car - I offered but am not allowed to help Smile/happy

it was all so rushed and he doesn't get super emotional right away, that I know will come later, so it was just total shock & disbelief ... but it was fun. I think I am still in shock too as that was my first time telling anyone in person!

my head is killing me and I am exhausted so I will sign off for now. thanks again for all your support and congrats!!!! Grouphug

sparkles Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:49 pm

yay
I AM SO GLAD I GOT TO READ THIS POST AS I AM LEAVING TO GO AWAY FOT=R THE WEKEND ANY MINUTE LOL ( oooops sorry capitals)

Hubby and I were in shock too and hubby kinda didnt want to let himself get excited for weeks, i suppose a defence mechinism, seeing as we had been through so much!! so its normal
thats so awesome!!!!

**Georgi** Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:55 pm

Oh Sapphire, your post actually made my eyes all well up!! I think cos it just brings back those memories of telling my DH the news! It will sink in, I bet tomorrow after he has rested he will really start thinking OMG!!! we are having a baby BUT I have to say my husband no matter how much he wanted a baby he didn't start to get really excited until I started getting a bump and he could feel the baby move that's when I am sure it all became very real for him!!

x x x

sapphire Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:31 am

thanks sparkles & Georgi. I think you're right, Georgi, it was really a bit rough to drop all that on him when he was seriously exhausted from the week of travelling. Our conversation through the evening was strange - we'd be talking about something random that had nothing to do with this, and then he'd suddenly come out with a one liner: "so I guess I have to stay with this job for another year or two" (umm, I would disagree, but it's cute one of his first thoughts was to providing for me & his baby!) or then "so we're not going to Europe in June anymore, are we?" (umm - NO! But we likely will still go later 2009 or early 2010 with the baby so my family in England can meet him/her.) Then he cried when I looked him in the eye and told him what an amazing dad I know he will be, and how that's one of things I'm most excited about is seeing him as a dad. He was totally overwhelmed & exhausted, and I know how hard things are to come to terms with when I feel that way. So it was all good, and it's definitely sinking in. We'll have to talk today about when to tell which friends & family - I think we might be in for a bit of a disagreement but I know we'll work something out. He's still sleeping and we went to bed 11 1/2 hours ago so I think he needed some rest!!!

I found I haven't been sleeping as soundly as usual the past couple days, is that normal? I usually fall asleep in 2 minutes tops and am out til the morning, but lately I've been waking up throughout the night. Never for long, but I notice the time, roll over, take a few minutes to get back to sleep - nothing major of course, just unusual.

And my gums bleed more easily too, and I definitely still have the light cramping and am way more tired than usual. I am happy for all these symptoms as they really help it sink in that I am pregnant, as weird as that still sounds!

**Georgi** Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:42 am

My gums didn't start bleeding as early as 4/5 weeks but I do remember that when they started to bleed they bled throughout my pregnancy (only when I brushed my teeth) and the tiredness kinda came and went but it just hit me and I had to sleep!!

As for the waking up at night that again is a normal change however I think it might have more to do with all this excitement over the last few days, your mind is probably really active!!!

Ginny Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:02 pm

Oh Sapphire!!! I am so beyond excited for you and your hubby! I told my hubby last night about it and he was happy for you also! I know it took awhile for it to set in for him also. He actually was very reserved my entire pregnancy and didn't get SUPER excited til Thane was here lol

He was very involved, but he wouldn't get super happy til I would have more and more appts and everything was going great. He was just nervous as I am sure your hubby is Smile/happy

This is soooo exciting!! How long were you trying? Isn't it like almost 3 years!? And also, was this just one of those Oops - how in the world did THIS month work?? I am sorry I dont know the whole story, but i haven't been on my computer much Ashamed

The month I got pg with Thane was the month that i thought was a BUM month so I was going to the tanning bed and drinking margaritas and wine and THEN I found out I got pg and I was like NO FREAKIN WAY!!!! lol

I am just SOOOO happy for you!!! Its a great feeling to have those symptoms too isn't it lol

Gutter Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:08 pm

I wouldn't drink caffeine, but that's just me.

As for tea, I know that Rooibos is safe during pregnancy and caffeine free.

I avoided cesar salad and deli meats (I would fry the deli meats if I wanted a sandwich)

Also I would recommend eating little snacks and not so big meals.

I would start taking a prenatal vitamin if you haven't done so yet.

Sapphire, i think it's come to you as so much a shock you probably already had read up on all this at the very beginning and just had your hopes and dreams let down for 2 years. Also I recommend "Your Pregnancy, Week by Week " book and the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" Smile/happy

Humm...what else can I remember, not to eat fish that may have mercury in it...

Anyways hun, congrats again, feel free to ask questions, we are all here for you Smile/happy

xoxo

sapphire Sun Nov 16, 2008 6:31 pm

Georgi, thanks, you're probably right about the sleep thing, it has been a rather emotional last few days!!! I've been totally unable to focus on all the things I should have been doing lately so I suppose no small wonder my mind can't totally rest at night Smile/happy

Ginny, we've been trying two years exactly. And I didn't really expect to get pregnant at all - it had been months since the surgery for the endo (Feb. 2008), and we had plenty of well-timed months since then when our chances were supposedly better than ever ... but the endo had wrecked one of my tubes so I knew chances were slim. I have no idea why it was this month! we didn't have all that much sex either, DH has been travelling for work.

Gutter, thanks for your tips! I've been doing half decaf, half regular for awhile with my one morning coffee to wean off the caffiene (again, had been drinking normal coffee daily for months b/c I didn't really expect to get pg!), and now am at 2/3's decaf, 1/3 regular for my morning coffee. I hope later this week to be fully off caffiene. Better to take it slow instead of shocking my body and getting caffiene withdrawal I thought! I will check out both those books, and also rooibos tea - I've been looking for a safe alternative to coffee since I love having hot drinks! Thanks so much for all your tips.

Okay, here are some shots (in order) of when I gave DH that gift in the car before the doctor's appt on Friday (you can see he's holding the digital test in very last shot!):

what do i need to know??? IMG_2495-1

Ginny Sun Nov 16, 2008 6:46 pm

awe!!!! bless his heart!!! he looks soooo sweet!!!!! and happy lol

it makes me want to cry Wink

i just love your story and im so beyond excited for u both! thx for the pix lol

thats great about the coffee! i stopped for the most part while i was pg and have completely quit caffeine while nursing!he doesnt need more energy Tongue

as for foods and stuff to stay away from...like they said sandwich meat, soft cheese like feta...and tuna of course cuz of mercury. if i think of anything else ill let u know! xxxxx

oh yeah...forgot deer meat! dont even touch it cuz of toxoplasmosis.dont know if u eat it or not but i normally do but couldnt while pg Wink

Gutter Sun Nov 16, 2008 8:49 pm

Sapphire,
Oh my goodness, DH looks soooo happy and thrilled!!! I'm sooo happy for the both of you, almost feels as though we have been friends for years and that I know you and DH sooo well!! I love you and I'm sooo excited about this new adventure you and DH are going to be going through, it's amazing and I am so happy to hear that you will get to experience it afterall that's happened xoxo!!!

**Lily*Blossom** Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:54 pm

Girl, I love these pictures.

My advice to you is eat lots of protein. If meat makes you sick and eggs, eat protein bars. I used to break a 21 gram protein bar in half and eat it before bed and then the other half before getting up in the morning, and it helped me from feeling sick!!!!

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