flylady.net

As you all may know,I am somewhat of a messy bessy.I have always been this way.I struggle with what most people find comes naturally...cleaning up.Or at least not living in complete CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome).

All my ladult life I have aspired to be some kind of betty crocker/martha stewart,a beautiful home with the smell of fresh baking radiating from the kitchen,nutritious meals made for my family everyday and a sparkling toilet bowl and sink throughout the house.HOWEVER<the reality is and has mostly always been somewhat different.The reality is more like ;

For 3 weeks out of the month my house is trashed.In every house we have lived in it's been the same.MOst of you kind ladies will say 'well my house is not perfect,or...I'm sure it's not thatbad...IT IS!'Ihave been embrassed and broufgh down by my clutter and sense of faliur.A lot of it is the pressure I put on myself.HOwever...I am now going to show you a couple of picture...NOT of my current house but this one DOES get this nasty some days so you wll see.I am VERY ashamed and embrassed by this and won't let people in my house unless I have at leat 24 hours warning to 'crisis clean'.

So,without further ado...here is the shame with which I have lived for most of my adult life...please go easy on me,I KNOW it's awful and I AM deeplyt ashamed,it's taking a LOT for me to post these pics and be honet with you all so please don't yell at me!


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OK,so once you'v got your breathes back and are over the shock,I know what you're thinking...'how could she be so gross,how could she let it get like that?','why doesnt she just CLEAN it?' Well I couldn't hav told you myself a few weeks ago,but I have since bought the fly lady (sink reflections book) I have not yet finished reading it entirely.but her explanation for this is I am a perfectionist....I know,stop laughing and get back on your chairs!

She sais that in (my mind for example) I look a a room that is messy and EVERYTHING about it has to be PERFECT otherwise why do anythig at all.So I get overwelamd from the start.She is right to an extent with that,I take oe look and KNOW that I want to clean it PROPERLY and usually with my marathon clean they can last the entire day on just the downstairs.SO I try and think of a time in my mind when I can have the WHOLE day to clean.I cant so my right brained dominated mind sais 'ah well,just do it later' of course,later nevercomes,the mess gets worse,I get more disgusted and defeated by what I see and can't handle it so I walk away.

She explains,how to break it down into baby steps,you have a routine (sigh rolling eyes,I know,I have tourble with it too) for morning and evening which helps you stay on top of mess,its' actually quite a short routine and leaves most of your day free,you just do your moring routine,then each week the house is broken down into zones ,each day you will have a task to do in each zone.(She sends you e mails to tell you what to do if you want help prompting) and you spend 15 minutes (with a timer) in that zone,each day something different.and maybe 5 mins doing another task.Then thats it,just do your morning routine,evening routine and everything in your house stays clean,in baby steps.She has you declutter your house room by room,box by box SLOWLY and once you've got that down to pat,she beggings teaching you to cook/shop and everything else.but the key is BABY steps to learn how to 'Fly' (finally love yourself' of course,as a child/teen,I was branded with 'lazy,idle,messy' not blaming that for my behaviour (it's just the way my brain processes things,or doesnt!LOL) but you DO need to learn to love yourself.I aree,she encorporates pampering yourself as part of your day

She also takes into account that we have kids and families/jobs (some of us) and can't follow a '7-7 routine,what she does do is just use the timer to break up the cleaning and it's strict yet flexible and it's the ONLY thing that has managed to keep my inerest after all these years of me trying to find a 'cure' for my mess.There is NO instant cure and it's taking me a while to get my head around it all.But I am getting there,telling the negative voices in myhead to shut up,and that I am not worthless and that I WILL create a loving home for my family and equally as importantly ...for myself.I am a flybaby (thats what she calls us newbies)

The support system she has is amazing,you can sign up for her mentoing (yahoo groups) through her site www.flylady.net where she sends you about 10 mails a day,it sounds annoying but it's actually pretty cool and help with procrastination.She has a book,timers tools and ther thigns to help you get through,she also has a blog talk radio show where you can have her coach you through your first 'crisis clean' if you feel the need to get thingsstraight BEFORE you start her program like me!LOL.So this is one I would recommend.Although I am not 'there'yet,I am getting there mentally.Which is the most important thing.

She also has a weight loss book I think called 'body clutter' and she helps you to deal with what makes us over eat and stuff like that.I personally won't get that book,I don't think I need it for now anyway,but some people might be interested so I just thought I'd mention it.

Anyway,Beth wanted to know what I thought of it,I am so far very impressed and If feel that this is for me,I would like to thank PROFOUNDLY the person who pointed this site out to me( I am so sorry I can;t remember who it was) but it was someone one here!So thank you so much and bless your heart.I hope you are FLYing too!

Thanks for the input Angel!

I understand where you are coming from. I'm not quite the perfectionist like that, but I look at my small house where EVERY room needs significant remodeling/repair/decorating and I get depressed. Actually, I never signed up for that photo game because I'm ashamed at the condition of my house ! What's the point of trying to mop a floor where there's years of grime built up along the edges when the flooring just needs to be completely replaced? Also, everything is so cluttered (like I said, small house) so it's such a pain to move tons of stuff to clean properly. That's just one little example of the problem I have.

But I hate my house and I don't want it to be like this. And I also recognize that if we can't have our biological baby, we'll be adopting which puts us and our home under a lot of scrutiny, and I don't want to be judged by the dust bunnies under the dresser!

I did read her first couple Baby Steps and have been trying the first one (shining sink) but stumbled on the 2nd one -- get dressed (and shoes!) everyday. Well, uh, that's not a problem since I work outside the home. So that's when I started wondering if it was geared more towards stay-at-home moms rather than childless working women.

TBH Angel, youre house isn't that bad. I'd say it's untidy, but doesn't look dirty!

When my Aunty babysat for me and my brothers. At the end of the night she'd say "right, you have to put all the toys in the toy box or a bomb will go off". Now that's probably not PC, but you could say a monster is coming or something :tongue:

No,I don't think she does justaim at SAHM'sshe actually saisin her book that the dressing with shoes partshould be easierfor thosewho work away from homebut that it's still important.(damn space bar not working sorry).I can see how you wuld think that.Maybe just sign up for her e mails and do the mission every day ,she said that you never have to sping clean again because every month you whole house gets done all by spending 15 mins each day.I think everyone can at least do that,thats not the partI have a problem with for now,but it sound slike you that might be your issue.She can talk you through de cluttering your home and 'blessing it'making you love it again!

Toffee wrote:TBH Angel, youre house isn't that bad. I'd say it's untidy, but doesn't look dirty!

Thaks Toffee! That was my house in France,every room was like that,couldntreally walk on the floors.My rug though has an excuse,My hoover had broken so I had no way of getting all the little bits.When we moved I borrowed someones jetpresre washer and used soap,it was like a brand new rug!

Anyway,thats about 5 houses ago now!LOL and we will be moving again,it's hard to ger motivated to clean your house and make it nice when you know you'll be moving again as well!Imus saythough,in her book she has a section for moing house!Phew!I need to hurry upand read it!get it sorted for when we need to pack...like NOW! LOL gulp!

Maybe I'll get the book from the library. Maybe I'll find that more helpful at first. I have been trying to do a little something extra every week in regards to cleaning, etc. So maybe I really just need to continue with that as well.

Wow, my recommended reading list is growing! Still working on The Secret and now flylady's book too!

I just discovered flylady! I can't wait to get started! I'm trying to get my Christmas decorations put away this weekend and then on Monday I'm starting my goal of getting and KEEPING my house clean!!!! You know, for years I felt like I couldn't get it all done because I worked and now I feel like I should be able to stay on top of it but every now and then someone reminds me that I have a little one in the house.
Beth, when you get the book let us know what you think. I think I sometimes benefit more from a book too!

Happy Cleaning Ladies!

Thanks for posting this Holi. I also have my days....I'll wash my floors once every few months and used to have a cleaning day every Sunday before I had Audrey. Now I don't have time for my all day Sunday cleaning....so I do a little bit every day...like vaccuming and now I'm a pro at keeping up with my dishes instead of letting them pile up. I'll do them 2 times a day if it means I don't have to spend 1 hour doing dishes and now it takes about 5 minutes.

Maybe I'm a little better now I guess with keeping my house tidy...but the bathrooms are usually pretty crutty since i'll maybe wash them every 2 weeks or something, but I'll normally do the sink one day and the toilet the next or do them at the same time. I don't really have a routine anymore, but it does get done eventually.

I think my worse FLAW is CLUTTER....!!!! I am horrible for this. If you find any drawer, they are packed with stuff. It'll take me a good day to go thru all my clutter and organize it all...being bills, receipts, papers.,....and when I go to the post office the ONLY thing that comes home with me is bills or any personal mail...flyers and all that other stuff gets recycled, right at the post office.

I've also heard that once you have kids, your house normally goes to sh!t until they get old enough to start chores, you know...but I find the evenings the best time for me to clean before I get to relax at the tv or the computer.