Change of Plans........

**Lily*Blossom** Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:13 pm

Ok. So I have been thinking. A lot. I am not going to try out for American Idol, and here is why.

*The audition process is a joke. I've talked to several people, and also read several articles.

*Even if I get through.... I don't want to be "owned" by American Idol for the 6 months following the show, assuming that I make it anywhere close to the top contestants. One contestant who made it to the top 9, did not see her son for almost 3 months straight. I would die if I were away from my daughter that long. I didn't bring her into this world to be away from her like that. I know A.I. is a way to get yourself seen, if you make it through the FOUR rounds of auditions and get that golden ticket to Hollywood. However... tons of artists have broken through on their own the good old fashioned way, and seeing that I am a mom and a wife first and foremost, the good old fashioned way sounds better to me.

* It seems like I won't make it to the auditions anyway. There will be nobody to care for LM, as my husband has all these job interviews that are suddenly flowing in. He just got another email today that a huge consulting company wants to speak with him. Our cup runneth over!!! It's like all of the sudden our prayers are being answered. There are 2 spots for EACH role he is facing with two different companies. He is bound to get a job this month.

* I want to have another baby. I would like to get pregnant at the end of this year or early next year. I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I don't want someone to tell me when I can do what with my body, which would happen if I made it onto A.I. I'm not getting any younger, and I want our 2-3 kids out of the way before I'm 35. When DH gets one of these jobs, we will be in a position to pay for some recording time in a studio, and a photo shoot, to get me an agent, etc.

Do I love music. Yes. Do I want to see where I could go with my music. Absolutely. But on my own terms. I know I have what it takes, I just don't feel that Idol is the right way of going about it. I love the show, but there is so much drama and crap that goes on behind the scenes, that just isn't my thing. I love watching the show and the talent... but I didn't realize until I started seriously considering auditioning, how much crap actually happens behind the scenes of this reality show disguised as a talent show. I am going to start getting some gigs in bars, in the mall by my house which has a stage and accepts auditions for singers, at open mic nights, etc. I WANT do to more with my music than I have been doing, but I am not going to do it through American Idol.

Holi is with me on this Smile/happy

I spoke to her today on Skype, and she totally agrees with me. She also continues to inspire me with her musical talent, and encouragement. She made me feel really good about myself today when I was telling her about not wanting to do the whole Idol thing.

So because you all have been such a support and encouragement to me, I wanted to let you all know exactly why I'm not doing A.I. anymore.

xxxxxxxxx

Lou Lou Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:50 pm

Tiff - it sounds like you have really thought it through and it makes total sense to me!
I know you could never be away from LM that long!

I will continue to pray for your family - that one of these jobs will be the right fit for your family so that you can work towards your goals on your own terms!

I support you 100 percent, babe!!!!!! Smile/happy

**Lily*Blossom** Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:54 pm

Thanx Lou Lou. I feel like some people in my family, my Dad especially thinks that A.I. is the ONLY answer for me. Like it's so easy to get in and stuff. He has no realistic clue how it really works behind the scenes. I have put a lot of thought into it, and to be honest... the thought of being away from my husband and daughter and being told WHEN I can see them is sickening to me. I know if I pursue music, that I won't be with my daughter as much as I am now, but at least I would see my family on MY Terms, ya know?

I feel like if I put my family first, God will bless me with my musical dream Smile/happy

So that's what I'm gonna do.

mscherry42 Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:17 am

Tiff,
I admire you for your decision. It shows maturity and it shows that you have your priorities straight(which is a sign of maturity too. Confused

) I didn't realize how much time is away from your family. Glad DF decided not to tryout again this year then. I like that you're still pursuing your goal, just in a different way that you feel is more beneficial for you and your family.

**Angel** Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:25 am

As you know I totally agree.Of course had you (Should you) still have wanted to go and audition I would back you 110% as your friend,but as a person and someone who see's your true talent and situation.Although I have no doubt you are as good if not better than 95% of the people who make it to the TV stage of idol,I also think that you would be there,controlled,defined by some producer and not someone who would ever really appreciate or care about you.If you go your own way,you may not (or may) become famous,but you can still touch people with your music and still perform and share what you have in yout soul.I think you and I feel the same on that subject,it's about getting out whats inside and not to sound vain,but it translates into to something to beautiful and full of feeling NOT to be shared!No matter how and no matter how many people but one thing I have found is people share beautiful things,they post videos on facebook n myspace no thei blogs so even if you don't know about it people watch you ,hear you and feel you all over and all the time! Smile/happy

I respect your decision and know that you will find something that makes you happy and allows a happy medium between your singing and your family and justins work with your natural positivity and open heart.Something good will come your way! xxxx

**Lily*Blossom** Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:39 am

Thanx ladies. I was excited about Idol when I was watching this past season. But the excitement came from imagining myself on stage in front of people, doing what I love. It didn't stem from making it onto American Idol. I can still get that recognition and stage experience on a smaller level by performing at open mic nights and stuff.

For the past week or so, I've had this uneasy feeling about leaving and going to Denver for 5 days. When I thought of Idol as the way into the business or whatever, I did not have a positive feeling like I should go ahead.

I just saw this video last night from a girl who tried out last year and got cut. She tried out this year in 2 different cities for this upcoming season. She has a beautiful voice. I read the comments below her video about whey she didn't make it this year. In the first city, Atlanta, they told her that she had a nice voice, but wasn't what they were looking for. In the second city, Chicago, they told her that she didn't seem comfortable enough with her stage presence. Here is the link if you guys want to see.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY5VuqIwPAw

My Dad was telling me that I should go to every remaining city and try to make it on the show. Does he not realize I have a family to look after? It's not like I'm young and single with all the free time in the world.

Anyhoo, thanx again for backing me up Smile/happy

BethG Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:45 am

Sounds like you thought about it long and hard and you made some very valid points.

How many times have we seen the better singer not get the votes because he/she was not the most popular? The show is for entertainment....not necessarily about finding the "best." And you're right, they do own you, for a while at least. I think there's plenty of opportunities out there for you other than AI if you are serious about pursuing them.

Gutter Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:09 pm

Tiff you know we will all support your decision no matter which way it would of went. It would of been awesome of course to watch AI if you were to get thru, but yes, I have heard the process is nearly impossible for most Cry

AND having to leave your child for so long would kill me too, I honestly have not spent a night away from Audrey yet...so I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to be away from her for too long and they grow up sooo fast!! Hope you can be found another way though, would be awesome if your husband finds a job this month though!! Thinking of you all!! xx

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