Stupid Dummy

DF has done it again. We have a bit of history of him feeling the need to nurture "friendships" with females to the point of disrespect(and I am sugaring it up). He has never physically cheated on me that I know of or really suspect, but for me, what he's done is almost as bad. Recently he joined Facebook. No problem, I have an account too. Well, the reason he never got a myspace account was because he "would get in trouble", whatever the hell that meant. Guess what? The dumb jackass got in trouble on facebook instead. He's had the acccount for about a month now, and everybody from the navy and high school came out of the woodworks to be his friend. Again no problem. I didn't even suspect anything foul. Yesterday morning, I logged onto his yahoo mail account looking for his navy reserve school orders cause I was trying to see when he leaves(he was at work, so couldn't just ask him the dates). We're planning on buying Jadah a trampoline for her birthday next month, but he'll be gone for a week around that time. So, I needed to know when was the latest we could order it, so he'd be able to help me assemble while she's in school or something. Needless to say, he had many facebook messages from this girl, which made me curious/suspicious. Come to find out, they've taken a trip down memory lane and found out that they still care a great deal about each other, and can't wait until he goes back to New Jersey for a visit to see other(wonder what that means!!) Anyway, they crossed the line. She's married too just to throw that in. I'm pissed and hurt and angry and ready to end it with him. This is the fourth episode since we began dating in 2005. But, what makes it worse for me is that he admitted to having feelings with her and them saying they have a bond that will never break, and ya da ya da yada. Of course he's sorry, and I can't leave him he says. But, y'all seriously, how many freaking times am I suppose to just suck it up, forgive him, and keep loving him anyway? I just don't know if I can get over this one. I dont' care that I'm pregnant, so what, I'd rather be single than miserable. At this point, I don't think he's going to change. I think he'll either get better and hiding his friendships that he develops every once in a while, or he'll just expect me to forgive him over and over. He's a great guy, but I just don't know he's MY great guy. I have never given him any reason to doubt my loyalty, trust, love, respect, and devotion, but he has over and over again(four is still a big number to me). So, right now until I figure out what to do, he's sleeping on the couch, and conversation is pretty much nonexistent. So, there is my life in a little pitiful nutshell. Oh, and I am seriously considering packing up, quitting my job, and moving back to Louisiana, with or without him(assuming I forgive him in the first place)

OMG Hun, that is so out of line. You and your baby deserve better. I don't know what to say and I don't think there is anything I can say but I would totally understand why you would want to leave, even when being pregnant. This guy can not be trusted and it sounds like he would do it over and over and just cause you too much pain. Let us know how things go. We're here for you x

Oh wow!I don't know what to say,except I'm sorry and it must feel magnified by a thousand with the pregnancy hormones and everything.It's a shitty thing to do and an even shittier time to do it.I am sorry Ms C,I hope that he can manage to convince you that he's worth it and that he means it and cuts tied with her and realises howlucky he is to have you and a beautiful (growing family) I hope that it works out that way,if it doesnt,I'm sorry!hugs !!! xx

mscherry, sorry you're dealing with this. Seems like myspace/facebook is a trouble for lots of people. If 24P sees this, I'm sure she'll have something to say since she's had to deal with the same stuff.

Stay strong!

Facebook is the Devil!

I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I had good advice to give on how to handle the situation but you know him the best and I'm sure you will make the best decision for yourself and your girls.

Hang in there.

DF is really friendly when it comes to girls. He went away to help with a store renovation and every morning he came home telling me about these girls flirting with him and he keeps telling them he's taken, but they keep telling him it doesn't matter. I know I am happy he come home and tells me these things, but he also accidently gave one (who knows if any others) his cell phone number. I wish he would keep it around so I could check his text messages. Yesterday he was receiving texts, he said he was texting with his friend Larry. So when one of the texts came thru, I told him if he has nothing to hide I should be able to read it. Well he wanted to read it first then showed it to me. It was from a girl named Liz and she was asking him his favourite colour????? Like HELLO!!!

He has a text message plan to be able to send out 250 messages and found out yesterday he was already at 244 and about 6 days left on our bill. Well looks like he's been enjoying texting, but with who...right?? Anyways my man is dyslexic, so I find it strange how he can go thru 250 texts in 30 days.

Sounds like we both have issues with our flirty men Cherry!

wow cherry, im sooo sorry. it sounds a lot like what me and charles have been through (a few times...)

i hardly have time to post right now (so sorry julie is squirming and will be up any minute) but please please message me if you ever need to talk or anything. ive been down a hard road while pregnant wondering if i should leave or not... its very very hard.

Just wanted to let you all know, I've decided to stay with DF. But we are moving to Louisiana next year. It may not be the wisest decision financially, but emotionally it is a must for me. I need my family, the love that I have always gotten from everyone. I want my kids to know their family, and vice versa. He doesn't really want to move to LA, but is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy. I know I used the situation to get something I really wanted, and that this manipulation tactic is not fair, but "frankly my dear, I really don't give a damn!!" My offered to let us stay with her until we find jobs in the area. Am I scared, yep, but I don't care. I'm up for the challenge. And he says that he knows that he needs to try harder to do things to make me happy(take me out just the two of us and stuff, and not just to eat either). We went and saw Couples Retreat(ideal movie for our situation!!). It was very funny, yet had some good information in that I hope he caught.

Glad to hear that things will get better with moving and all. I'm the opposite, I do not get along with my family, so I would never move back home, but on the other hand DF would want to move back to be closer to some family since we don't have any family around here. I would never be able to get a job in my field if we moved up there, so DF and I know that he'd pretty much have to get a job that pays really good for me to be able to stay home with the kids, if that ever happened.

Hey hun i dont mean sound so negative but its ok to forgive but dont forget or let him forget personally id of left after the second (assuming i didnt slap the shit out of him after the first time) and in all honesty if a man dont have enough respect for you to learn what is acceptable and what isnt then i dont think he has enough respect to care weather or not he hurting your feelings while pregnant i know its hard for you and easy for me to say it but staying with somebody who is ovisly hurting you is not good for you or your kids because they know my mum stayed with my adopted dad for years because she didnt want to be alone or effect me or my sister but in the long run it hurt me and my sister (especially my sister) to the point where for years we though it was ok to be treated like shit and they say sorry and take them back but i learn t f**k them you control your happiness babe and your are far too sweet , smart , funny and damn sexy to put up with a man like that there is plenty more fish in the sea and sooner he gets that in his head that the better. Do whats best for you and your kids in the long run hun you can do better and i got say you are got alot me restain than me because id of lost it when he said he had feelings for her.