WHAT THE F AM I DOING WRONG!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

ok ladies, long time no speak but i am losing my F'N mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know if its cuz i am a working mother or a shitty mother or what the F the problem is! BUT, EVERYONE tells me that "HE DOESN"T ACT THAT WAY WITH ME!" EVERYONE TELLS ME THIS!!!!!!!!!!! What happens is he's so happy to see me when i get home...then he starts having a meltdown or whining at my legs and crying MOMMY MOMMY GO OUTSIDE, DO THIS DO THAT... BLAH BLAH WAH WAH WAH!? What do i do??? I let him cry and hang at my legs and say whatever i can to try to distract him or i yell and say JUST BE QUIET! or shut up depneding on how long i have been listening to this shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my sister hasnt seen him in 2 weeks and missed him a lot (or so she said) well he was fussy and i was like "he's so tired" or 'maybe he is getting sick cuz blaine has some sort of throat sickness" and she said "has it ever occurred to you this is just HIM not he's tired, or sick, maybe its just him." so i said' So my kid is a brat'!? i got pissed and left my parents house after that. then does RAY help f**k NO!!!! What does he say!?!?! "Well they are right he always acts better when you are not around." WHAT THE F PEOPLE!?!?!?! How shitty of a mother must i bet for everyone from MY mother, to my husband to the fucking babysitter to tell me my son doesn't do that til i come around. well maybe i should just leave. sounds like he's better off without me anyway.
what is going on? please help me. I spank him, i discipline him, i try to raise him right, and this is what i get. everyone telling me there is something wrong with him or he's a brat or im an enabler or some shit. someone help me

I am sorry hun.I had this with Teo too.Everyone would tell me (to an extent) that he was better behaved around them.I think he probably does play you more than he does others beacsue kids do that with their mums,especially boys and girls with their dads.They just KNOW it.I think even though you spank/disciplin him,he still konws that you miss him like crazy and want to make the most of the time you have together.I do NOT think you are abad mother.I think you are a lovely ,sweet caring mother who does the best she can.He will grow out of it,as long as you are consistant.I know it's enfuriating to hear others say shit like that when you ahve such a hard time.I had it with Teo trust me.Of course for me,things got better when we changed the diet,but that doesnt mean t's Thanes problem.He's going through 'that' age and there's a lot going on in your life right now,I don't know what to suggest,just that I wouldn't say yes to one thing one day and then try and say no the next,don't take shit.Don't be afraid to put him in time out or spank (Whichever you do) after 2 warnings.One of the biggest mistakes I think ALL parents make at one point is to say no a million times a do nothing,then finally give in.The kids learn that immediately and then keep trying and trying.I hope you figure it out,he won't be going thought the phase for too much longer,once he can express himself more with words the frustration will lessen.I know it's hard to say no and be firm when you feel like you havn't seen him all day and youwant your time together to be happy,with no drama or tears.But I think if that's the problem,in the long run you will benifit! I love you and you will get through this...take some deep breaths and know that you are a wonderful,sweet mother! xx

Ginny,
You are one of the best moms I have ever met! From day one you have always wanted only the best for Thane.
I have seen it with my own eyes - children let loose with momma!!! He knows that you are his safe place. He knows he can act that way because you love him them most! I know it doesn't make it any easier to deal with because you want him to behave around you too!!!!
When we take Owen to my mom and dad's house he is a perfect angel. He minds her and she never has to get on to him but when I walk in the door he gets loud and rowdy and doesn't mind and will test me as hard as he can.
I think for me, I have had to work really hard to stay calm in those situations. (not that I do well with it all the time) I have yelled at Owen before and I always feel terrible about it. I try to keep my tone with him really low key and I even just ignore the behavior sometimes. I have also found that Owen does not respond well to spankings or raised voices. I never thought I would be a "time out momma" but I am!!!! I went from spanking several times a day to just one timeout every few days.
I'm not sure if what I'm saying can be helpful to you at all but I DO want you to know that you are not the only mom who has a child that acts TOTALLY different with other people! I hope things will improve soon and I'm sorry you and your sister had an arguement over it.

You are an AMAZING mom! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and know that Thane is a good kid and loves you with all his heart. I know this from seeing his precious, happy face in your photos.

Awe, thank ya'll so much! I am sorry i cussed your heads off but i was so mad last night and I just wanted to vent cuz no one around me seems to understand...my sister doesn't have kids and never will because she physically can't, and i think she doesn't understand sometimes how they act. yesterday it was embarrasing cuz it was my brother's birthday and of course, Dylan was beingthe dream baby that he is and Thane was fussy as hell crying at my legs to go outside, eat birthday cake, all kinds of crap and I just didn't want to deal with it. Mama said she wishes our visiting times were different, but i mean wtf am i supposed to do. he's cooped up all day in their house that is not child proofed and when i get there he's like Hell yeah! lets go outside!! but even the outside isn't anywhere a kid can play. i mean they have 2 grandkids now, so i wish they'd get some stuff at their house for them to play with maybe our "visits" could change and we could be outside instead of cooped up in the dark living room.

BUT anyway, thank you Holi and Lou Lou for your sweet comments! I honestly do not feel like a good mom, but i'll try to get over it. maybe i make excuses for him sometimes idk. sometimes i can just tell that other people want me to whip him when he acts up so that's why i whip him. or when i said shut up yesterday it was cuz i could tell that everyone else was thinking it I could see it on my brother's face the "OMG i hope Dylan NEVER acts like this" and how does that make me feel!?!?!? Like T-TOTAL sh*t! I just feel like if everyone has a problem with him, they have a problem with me and I will just keep him at home away from everyone and they'll never see him again if that's what they want! Sorry, i'm being so negative, but i am just tired.

Lou Lou, i will try the time outs, so far he doesn't respond well to much at all except "if you do that we will go back in the house..." if we are outside..i have tried time out before, but he doesn't want to sit there, so i am literally holding him down while he screams and kicks. its ridiculous.

and Holi, yes, it VERY well COULD be his diet considering its consisting of chocolate, candy, and all this easter crap! he doesn't eat very well anyways, and lately he hasnt eaten much at all. Ray says im doing a great job, thane is just a titty baby. which is really a crappy thing to say...

but anyway, thank you for your posts ladies! Yall are great!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ginny, that means I am the WORST mom too!!! Audrey has been doing this for weeks, NO JOKE!!! She keeps saying 'mom?' 'mom?' hanging off my legs ALL the time, sitting wherever I'm about to put Jasper. She has been driving me nuts and I have to put her up in her room sometimes just so I have some peace and quiet.

I think it may be the terrible 2's part, I hear something major with their brain development, but like you read I'm taking a course and I should be learning some things to help it along so I'll let you know what I learn. I'm at my witts end and even give Audrey Tylenol because she is so bad sometimes.

I don't think we are bad moms I think it's just that we are their moms and we make the rules and well other people just let them be, who knows....Jasper is great with DF and he'll sometimes be terrible for me, so I think it is a mom thing.

Gutter! That sounds like Owen!
Girls, why do they hang on our legs like that?!!!!!

Ginny - have you had a better day?

Thanks ladies, and yes Lou Lou i have had a much better day! Although, i didn't see him much cuz ray had minor surgery today having some possible cancerous moles removed hopefully the biopsy will come back ok!!!! but thane spent most of the afternoon at his mimi's house (ray's mom) with his cousin. BUT we never had a meltdown. The one time that he was being fussy for boo i said "We don't get boo unless we don't cry and ask NICELY, how do we ask nicely??" and he said "Thank you mommy...have boo?" so me being calm did work a lot better!

He hits sometimes too and he hit me in the face and instead of beating him like normal i said 'was that very nice?' and he said "uh...no." and i patted him softly and said "that's nice." and so he did that to me too and kissed me. soooo maybe calmness is the key! we will see thank you so much!!!

I am sorry to hear about Ray ginny.PLease let me know as soon as you can about his biopsy results!

Thank u holi! Yes he was high as a kite last nite waking me up to talk to me and tell me that he was sorry I had stitches! I was like what!?!? And he said oh yeah its me with stitches. he's fine tho. Ill keep u posted!!!

poor hunny!Ask him if he want's some 'special pictures' to make him feel better!LOL <of course you'll probably steal them for yourself!

Omg! I dunno about u 2!!!!! Well if u do send him pix then just be warned that I may sue u due to the fact that his incisions are right next to his package...so if u get him too excited, shall we say, and hurt sumthing, that would not be good!!!!

Oh boy! MAybe I'll hold off until he's feeling better LOOOL