Are you addicted to spending?

Toffee Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:44 pm

I think I am, I mean I buy stuff I don't need. I like spending!

I NEED to start getting my act together. I don't buy big things, I buy unnecessary stuff here and there. For example, food out, treats, clothes, random stuff. I can't think of the things I've bought recently, because they are so pointless.

I just spent £150 on glasses (£20 eye test, £30 for ultra clear effect and £99 on the glasses-buy one get one free). I didn't need to spend that much, but yet I spent it. Admittedly the cheapest ones were rank (like Harry Potter's :lol:)

I don't know why I love spending. I need to get my act together, I really do. I'm starting teacher training in September 2009, which I'll be moving away with my bf. So I need to save up for a deposit and things we'll need. I'm £1000 into my overdraft (it's free interest as a graduate) and not long ago borrowed £2200 off my dad to pay off the overdraft and credit card. Yet, I'm back again....(I had my student house bills and things on my credit card, not clothes or anything)
My dad understands that I can't start repaying until I work full time, and it's 0% interest. I do intend on paying him back, but I aim to do that after 3 months of working full time. He said to pay him what I can afford, when I can afford. (it's basically out of my Grans money, he's in charge of. My Gran has the beginning of alzheimers). Even though I know there's no immediate rush to start paying, I feel the pressure. Everyday. I can start paying as soon as I get a full time job, little and often. As long as I don't enter the interest zone of my overdraft.

I'm getting annoyed with myself. I'm ashamed. I'm sh*t. I just don't understand HOW I'm spending so much. I'm only earning £400 a month at the moment (work's sh*t pay and sh*t hours).

I'm paying £30 a week to my parents for bills, toiletries, breakfast stuff, internet etc. And then I buy my own food for lunch and tea-that's £20 a week. £22 a week on driving lessons, £15 on insurance for my car (plus petrol). And I then have very little left, especially if I have 2 driving lessons that week. It's a vicious circle, cause I need a job to pay for driving, but I need driving to get a decent job. I'm REALLY hoping I get this job for £1000 a month. I need the money.

I also pay £20 a month to charities, £40 to my mobile phone bill, £8 mobile insurance.

I don't want people to judge me, but I realise that will happen.

I feel so bad :-(

I've had depression for almost 3 years now, it could be linked. I just don't know.

What can I do?

Toffee

Guest Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:05 pm

Hey Toffee, I think we can all relate on some level.

First of all, I would say try and put the things you owe in the back of your head FOR NOW. You know you don't have the means at the moment to pay them back, so thinking about them constantly is just going to worry you even more, which you obviously dont need.

24Penguins Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:13 pm

i will let you know Toffee, that before our new budget i was the same way as you. i would go to walmart to food shop and get the diapers and things, and the money would just dissapear and i would have nothing to show for it!! the bills werent even all getting paid on time or anything, we were in a bad situation! esp. since (even though im grateful now since we dont have more debt) we dont even have any credit cards or anything, so in an emergency we had no backup!! it was getting really rough.

i know my story wont help you out a ton, but it might provide a little bit of insight, or hell even just make you feel better that you arent alone!!

about 3 or 4 months ago our office manager at work confronted me about it since she had noticed i was receiving phone calls from the car finance companies just about every day since both the car payments kept on coming in late. she was so sweet about it and offered to help us out. what she proposed is that she would take me and charles paychecks every week on payday, give me an allowance for what the family needs and give charles a smaller allowance for his needs (although i dont see the point in him receiving as much as he does, but thats a whole nother story lol!). she would then open a bank account for us and pay off our bills on time each week as they came in, i just had to bring her the bills as they came in the mail.

then she loaned us enough money via the company we work for to pay off all our past dues and debts as of so far, and wiggled a certain amount to payback the company each week into the budget. so then all our bills were caught up and up to date, and we just had to pay the monthly bills and provide the family with the necessities.

so it was all set, that the bills were getting paid, the company was getting paid back slowly (with no interest which was awesome) and we had our allowance (which is really hard and money is tight) but it was working for us, to get us out of debt in one years time (including the loan from the company.)

we had another minor set back when kaydance started daycare. her daycare costs are $520.00 a month, which is a good deal for daycare, but still a hard hit when we did have that cost before. This resulted in us going into the negative a bit so nancy then (being as awesome as she is) said we will drop the payment back to the company every week to get the money back we were missing now and that we could just pay back the company the full balance when charles got his inheritance from the sale of his grandfathers house (god rest his soul, but that couldnt have showed up at a better time!). its still EXTREMELY difficult, and many times if we just mess the budget up and spend just a bit of our allowances in the wrong area, it hurts us greatly until the next week.

as of right now i get $100.00 a week to buy groceries, diapers, wipes, baby foods/necesities, and anything else the household might need (TP/paper towels/shampoo/clothes/gas for the car, everything). its so hard, but i know in the end it will be worth it since we are building up our saving and getting out of debt. charles gets $50.00 a week, for god knows what lol (prolly dip and gas for his car, that he doesnt need to drive but takes out on the weekends). all the rest goes to the bills. its rough (and pretty much DFs fault lol, not to be mean but he bought both the cars and the payments are absolutly horrendous!!! i mean we pay more every month for the two cars than we do for the house!!! its insane and i believe we wouldnt be in nearly as much financial trouble without the payments, but with the economy the way it is and the fact that we owe more than the cars are worth, we cannot sell them).

so right now our money is like this (be prepared for scary numbers!!!)

Monthly bills (includes rent, my car payment, charles car payment, daycare, electricity, water/sewer, cable, gas heat bill, procollect (charles hospital bills from last year), and im sure many other misc. bills i forget about -lol this is exactly why we were behind and nancy does this for us now) $3100.00

Our income (charles salary, and my hourly wages) $3200.00 (give or take slightly since im paid hourly)

the only thing i can suggest for you is to set yourself an allowance for everything that is not an actual bill (like food, gas (or petrol in your case) for the car, and other little things) and stick to it! put all the rest into the bank and pay the bills that are DUE every month. then at the end of the month, pay back bits and pieces of the bills that you need to pay but arent necessarily due right then, like your dad and things like that. it takes a lot of freakin will power. i mean i know, its so hard for me not to be able to buy kaydance clothes unless she absolutely needs them and then having to get them all secondhand, and not being able to buy her anything extra like toys and such. i havent had any new clothing in as long as i can remember. we have to scrimp and save if me and DF want to go to the movies, and that often hurts our budget for a few weeks after the fact. but we do it knowing that in a bit of time we will have the piece of mind of a sounds financial grounds to live on, and being almost debt free!!!

lol, ive typed so much im starting to loose my train of thought, so i hope my little story makes some sense and i didnt just ramble on so long.