Crying it Out

I have posted about this before on another forum but I thought I would bring it up again here.
I don't believe in CIO. It's not because I think it's harmful to the baby, etc. I just don't like the fact that I have to let my baby scream his head off to get him to sleep. Well, for the last 5 nights Owen has been getting up like every 20 minutes, staying up for hours at a time..... two nights ago he was up 9 times in 12 hours. WTF?????? That's more wakings than when he was 2 weeks old!!!
So last night, after MUCH arguing we let him CIO. We did 3 minutes, 5 then 10 minutes. It was SOOO heartbreaking. The first time we did 3, 5, 10 and he was asleep. The second time we did 3, 5 and he was asleep and the third time we did 3 and he was asleep.
The first nap today we did 3 and then 5 minutes. Sigh..... I really hate this and even more so I hate to admit that maybe my DH was right....

I guess I don't really have a question.... I think I'm just looking for support that it is the right thing to do.

Hey hun,I know it's horrible.I let my babies CIO.The first time I did it,was when the pediatrician told me to just let him cry aged 4 months because he didnt need to be waking anymore and he was just doing it out of hbbit.So when he woke the next night at his usual time 4am,He cried,I left it for 5,10,15 then 20 mins,It broke my heart,I had to hold on to the pillow with tight fists to stop myself getting up.Just as I couldnt take it anymore,I swung my legs over the side of the bed to give in and he stopped.I froze for a minute convinced he was going to wake back up...he never did and slept through until 8am.

Its hard and tourturous,we are hard wired as mothers to be distressed when our babies cry.it's survival and we have to respond to our babies every need.HOWever,when there is NO need,when you are sure your baby is not hungry,wet/dirty/gassy/in pain then sometimes I think babies just cry.Remember its the ONLY way they can express themselves.I do believe that sometimes they just want some comfort.At that age I dont think it's bad habbit forming.I do however think there comes a time when mumor dad can do NOTHING else for the baby.I know when this happens with my little girl.It's not often but when I have fed/changed her and she has been burped,if she still cries when I rock her I know she's tired and doesnt know what to do with herslef,this is when I decide for her.I swaddle her,put her in her crib on her side,put the baby moniter on the wrong channel so it's fuzz and make it really loud,put her pacifier in and just gently push the matress next to her so it bounces her a little bit,within seconds she stops crying and then I leave her.Sometimes she starts up again.Then I will leave her to cry because I know there is nothing more I can do and that she NEEDS to sleep.

After this,she will usually cry on and off for 15 minutes.I watch the clock and listen to the baby moniter (i have 2 receivers) and 9 times out of 10 she falls asleepit just takes her 15 mins to fall asleep.IF after 15 she is still crying (this is rare) then I know she needs/wants to eat again or needs to burp.If your little baby is still fussy and waking up a lot,perhaps he has a cold coming,is he off his food?Thats always how I could tell with my son.He had a cold coming he would be fussy for up to 3 days before the symptms showed and off his food.OR could be a growth spurt,its still possible at his age that he needs to eat more during a growth spurt,the night waking should really not be neccessary anymore at about 4 months,but there are always exceptions and times when they get sick and wake up occasionly.Rest assured it is just a phase,deal with it how you will as a mother,you know him best and will do what you think is right.I think you are doing a great job,it is hard sometimes!

Oh gosh Lou Lou, I am the BIGGEST softie. But finally, when LM was 4.5 months old and still waking up every 2.5-3 hours, I just thought it was ridiculous. I let her cry. It was hard, but I did it. I really do think it is necessary sometimes, because we have to help our babies brains train so they stay asleep. Night waking is a habit, it really is. Their little brains just aren't quite wired to stay asleep for longer periods of time, the crying helps tire them out. I also found, that I was running in at every little peep, and I didn't need to. Sometimes babies cry out and they are still asleep and after a few minutes of tears, they are quiet.

It's so hard, but you really are doing the right thing. It took about 3 nights, the first 2 were awful, she cried 1 hour and 15 minutes, the next night 45 minutes, then the 3rd night she cried for half an hour, but it was off and on, she'd start every 5-10 minutes, then stop. The 4th night, she didn't wake up.

I think I will have to start over with LM. She hasn't been sleeping well because of her cold, so she wakes sooner again, after about 4.5-5 hours, and I just feed her, because she needs the fluids, and crying it out while sick could give her an ear infection and it makes her snotty nose a million times worse.

I miss my 6 hour stretches of sleep However, a well rested family is a happy family, so a few nights of crying are worth it, if it helps you sleep in the long run. Remember, it is helping teach Owen good sleeping habits, and he doesn't remember the crying spells later, I promise

As hard as it is listnening to you LO crying, when it comes to bed time you have to be strict and show them who is boss! You are always pleased you did after a couple of days. Some nights kiers doesnt want to go down at his normal bedtime but he has no choice, he will try and test me but he gives up before i do, i usually only have to go in twice when he is playing up other than that everything is usually fine. My sleep is like my best friend and my kids wouldnt want to see me after not having any!!!! lol

You are doing the right thing hun, you will see. you just got to stick with it, xoxo
we are all here for that support you may need! xxx

thanks for the support, guys.
This is night 2 of CIO and it's been so hard! He did great with it at nap time today but we've been trying to get him to bed since 9:00 and it's now 10:15. We are not going past 10 minutes right now. I just don't think he can handle more than that.
He's been quiet for about 5 minutes now so maybe we are moving in the right direction.

I know that independent sleep is the best thing that could happen to him and I just have to remind myself of that. I also have found that staying busy during the wait time helps. I just scrubbed down my kitchen counters!!!

Wish us luck!!!!

well, He did Great!
Getting him down was the hardest part of the whole night!
He slept until 4:40 and ate and then went back down until 8:20!!!!
This is what he was doing before we got him out the car seat!!!!
So yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I put him down for his nap - I usually have to go back at least twice and I didn't have to go at all!!!

Thanks again for the support!

I hate the "idea" of crying it out too, but it works. Just don't let the baby cry for more than an hour at a time, if you can even last THAT long lol. My husband is an even bigger softie than I am hee hee... I tried fifteen minutes at a time, although at this point, Donovan is old enough that I don't have to do this anymore (Praise the Lord!), but I DID use the cry it out method in the beginning, especially when I transitioned him from our bed to his crib at 3 months. We aren't "family bed" kind of people, but if that works for you and you and your signifcant other are like minded in this respect, then so be it! It was a NIGHTMARE to get him used to his own bed, but I stuck to my resolve and had some sleepless nights, and what do you know??? IT WORKED! He now sleeps in his own room, in his crib quiet nicely.

Lou Lou -- Just wanted to know how Owen is sleeping these days??

I just had Kian cry it out again last night, on and off for 2 hours before he went to sleep. Then once during the night for 15 minutes after a feed. I hope it's getting better, cause this is sooo hard. I just want him to sleep better....

Hey Nikki!

You just stay strong, girl! You are probably like me, you have a great baby except at night!!!! I think as parents, we just have to do what's best for our kids and that means making sure they learn to sleep on their own. I keep trying to remind myself in the night that Owen needs and deserves a good night's sleep just as much as I do.
That has really helped get me through the tough times!
I hope Kian continues to improve!!!!

Thanks for asking about Owen. We may have had a break through. Saturday night my DH and I made a commitment not to pick him up in the night unless we thought something was wrong. He was up 5 times in 2 hours the first night but then slept from 3:30 until 7:30 IN HIS CRIB!!! Then, last night night, he was up every 10 minutes from 1 - 2 but then slept IN HIS CRIB from 2 until 8! This is huge! I really think letting him cry it out has helped. When we put him down we do 3, 5 and 10 minute intervals. In the night I usually don't let him cry long.... just 3 minutes and then I go in and pat him down.
I'm just praying he can keep it up.
Oh yeah.... I had been nursing him at 5 and sometimes even at 3:30 but my doctor said he should be able to go all night without eating. He said as long as I feed him in the night he will keep thinking he needs it. I've increased his solids during the day a TON and he still nurses every 2 1/2 hours so he is getting plenty of calories during the day. He always wakes at 5 to nurse but he didn't the last 2 nights!