It's been a hard week here

I posted elsewhere about the kids and the holiday. On top of that the husband and I haven't talked in almost a week. Now he is trying to ease back into normal conversation and I just am not doing it this time.

Here's the thing. He has been getting these testosterone shots at the doctor. A couple days after he gets them he is just plain nasty. Then he will suddenly pop out of it and say that your response to the way he was acting YOU are being nasty. So I know where most of it is coming from but he totally crossed the line.

Tuesdays the older kids have r.e. class in the evening, and we usually get a quick bite to eat somewhere while they are in class. Just a bit of time away from them we never get. Anyways this last Tuesday he was packing up Lucy's bag and I asked him where he wanted to go and he told me then added....but not with you, I don't care where you go but I don't want to be with you.

Of course I didn't let him take Lucy, and he want off by himself. But I haven't talked to him unless I have to since. I had a dr appt on Friday, and they scheduled me for a ct scan on Monday. I emailed him at work that he would need to be home with Lucy during it, and he was like whatever, fine. He hasn't even bothered to ask me why I am getting a ct scan.

The part that really sucks is my couple close friends are very busy, so sometimes we can't get together for a week or two. And that leaves me with him as the only contact I have with the adult world....... I

I just don't know what to do, I am so mad at him, and hurt. My mom is coming for a week next Sat. and she will make a big ordeal out of it if things are not back to normal by them. Of course he can fake it pretty well, but I can't. When I am upset I just can't pretend I am not, and I tend to totally withdraw...

I am so sorry you are going through a hard time right now. My husband and I go through something similar on a regular basis.
We will fight, he's a total JERK about it and wont speak to me until I apologize for something HE did. He is also good at the silent treatment and has gone WEEKS without speaking or even acknowledging me!

I can totally relate to what you are going through.
I wish we were closer to you so we could all lend you some support in the physical sense.... but we can all at least be here for you in the virtual sense!!! : )

I know you mentioned the ct scan in the mother's thread but you didn't say what it is was for and if you don't want to talk about it I understand but it may help some if you'd like to share what's going on. We want to help in any way that we can!

Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you today!!!!

dm, I don't really have any good advice, but I'll try.....

Is there any way to talk to him when he's being rational? This is a stretch and i know it, but sometimes when I have PMS and am being a bitch, I just have to stop and realize it and not take it out on my husband. It helps when he doesn't respond to my bitchness. And the same is true when he's having a bad day. I just can't react to it and instead try to be more compassionate. If he's still a jerk, I just ignore him until it passes. I realize it's not so easy in your situation though. So is your hubby truly aware of how he's acting? I can understand that testerone shots might have ill effects like that. Is his doctor aware of the behavior/emotional issue as well?

I'm not sure what his health issue is but maybe this is a case of the treatment is worse than the problem. Any jerk-issues that go beyond a day is too much in my book, and this can't be good on your health either (or the kids, if they're picking up on the tension).

I hope you're able to find some answers with him soon. Hope your CT scan is ok too. (((HUGS)))

I second all of the above.I am only sorry we cant go for a coffee and have a physical hubby bashing rant session! ALl I can say (like loulou) is that we are here in the cyber sense to listen and help as much as we can here.thinking of you,hope it gets better soon! xxx

BethG wrote:dm, I don't really have any good advice, but I'll try.....

I can understand that testerone shots might have ill effects like that. Is his doctor aware of the behavior/emotional issue as well? I'm not sure what his health issue is but maybe this is a case of the treatment is worse than the problem. Any jerk-issues that go beyond a day is too much in my book, and this can't be good on your health either (or the kids, if they're picking up on the tension).

I hope you're able to find some answers with him soon. Hope your CT scan is ok too. (((HUGS)))

We don't really know. He was just doing some routine bloodwork with his diabetes and they told him his testosterone level was low and they needed to give him the shot. It has stayed low so they have increased the number of shots he gets. I went to his doctor with him once because I really wasn't satisfied with that, and got more of the same song and dance. When we went to the consultation with the urologist about getting a vasectomy I tried to bring it up with him. He sounded rather against just giving the shots like that without a diagnosis because at some point your body becomes dependant on the shots and stops producing the hormones. He talked a little about what he would do with a patient testingwise, but mostly said you are under the care of your gp so I won't touch it. Of course dh jumped on that and totally shut down and ended the conversation. End of topic. He just goes and gets the shots regularly.

Lou Lou wrote:I know you mentioned the ct scan in the mother's thread but you didn't say what it is was for and if you don't want to talk about it I understand but it may help some if you'd like to share what's going on. We want to help in any way that we can!

I just try not to come here and complain about my problems too much, sometimes I feel like everyone must be sick of hearing about how my body seems to be falling apart. The last two months, about two weeks after my period I have gotten really bloated, far worse than pms, and have painful spots in my abdomen. This month it finally got bad enough I broke down and called the gyn office and went on friday. After my very favorite thing (pelvic exam) NOT the gyn said he doesn't think it is gynocological, but that it shouldn't be going on so he ordered a ct scan which I am getting today. When I had a ct scan last fall it showed some ovarian cysts, I guess he would know if they were causing such a problem (which is what I suspected) - they wanted me to do a follow-up scan on those anyhows. My problem last fall was my pancreas, and the gasterentenologist said taking the gall bladder out would fix the problem 95% of the time -- I guess there is a chance I am in that 5%. I did have the pain when I did my surgery follow-up in Jan, and the surgeon said it was too low, that it was not related to my surgery. Now the gyn says it is too high to be his kind of problem. sigh.

Wow! Y'all are both going through a lot..... add to that a new baby...... you mentioned some trouble with your daughter a while back..... it's a wonder you are doing as well as you are!!!!

My DH is diabetic and I don't care what anyone else says.... IT HAS EFFECTED HIS MOOD!!!! I can't imagine how much worse it would be if he were taking testerone shots too!

Also, we WANT to know when you are having a bad day/feeling sick/struggling with something!!!!!! That's what we are here for!!!!!

What time is your scan? Please let us know how things go!!!!

Hmmmm, I feel like Googling testosterone shots now. I thought the main reason for that was an E/D treatment. To me, that's like a doctor telling me my female hormone levels are too low (which they probably are) so let's take synthetic ones! Eh, nope, pass on that. I dunno dm, I think you/he needs to question the doc. on all this, or find a new one.

And don't feel bad about complaining -- I feel like my body is falling apart too! I don't know much about ovarian cysts, but I do know they can cause pain. Does the pain come and go depending where you are in your cycle?

We're always here for you dolly'smomma!

Yes,we do want to know about it and how you are,if how you are is not good then thats the way it is.Doesnt mean we dont want to hear.I apprcieate your consideration of others and 'not whining' we try and stay as posisibve as possible here BUT,we ALL have bad times,problems and concerns,it's our job during your hard times to try and support,encourage and help you get back to feeling positive which ever way we can! I hope you will let us know how you go on with the CT scan!

hugs!

BethG - yes, it seems to be at it's very worst two weeks after leaves town - so I am guessing it is around ovulation time, which made me think it was related to the cycts. About my dh, he is so stubborn when it comes to drs and things, I don't think I can get him to look into it any further - he is content with the pasth of least resistance.....and he will fight me on it if I push.

Angel, thanks for your support, it means alot.

Update - he is definitely in his chipper ''It never happened'' mode trying to drag me there too. I feel better, but I am still determined to have it out with him about this.

ooooh!!!!
Don't you just HATE it when they are in a bad mood, so it puts you in a bad mood and then when they get over it they want you to be happy too even though you can't stand them at the moment!!!!!?????

I HATE that!!!!!

dolly's momma wrote:BethG - yes, it seems to be at it's very worst two weeks after leaves town - so I am guessing it is around ovulation time, which made me think it was related to the cycts. About my dh, he is so stubborn when it comes to drs and things, I don't think I can get him to look into it any further - he is content with the pasth of least resistance.....and he will fight me on it if I push.

Angel, thanks for your support, it means alot.

Update - he is definitely in his chipper ''It never happened'' mode trying to drag me there too. I feel better, but I am still determined to have it out with him about this.