What about discipline?

I've noticed just recently that I will tell Owen "no no" and he will stop, grin and go straight back to whatever I told him to stop doing. I know that on some level he understands what I'm saying. My question is...... how are you handling discipline at this age (9-18 mos). I know we've talked briefly about this in the mommy thread but I thought it would be good to post it separately. At what point will you take a simple "no no" a step farther? For example, a swat on the hand, etc.... I'm really bad about trying to keep Owen as a little baby! I sometimes will think to myself "he doesn't understand..." but I'm pretty sure this is changing daily.

Do you believe that eventually (obviously not at our babies ages) you will spank or will you try time out, etc? I'd love to hear what those of you with older children have learned too!

Thanks!!!!!

OH Dear Lord, Lou Lou..YES am i dealing with this!?!??!! Thane only cried a couple of times around 11 months old when I would say No! Very sternly. Now it is a complete and total game!!!! Well, if its something I really do not want him to do, like throw his food, I spank his hand and say "NO THROW FOOD! THROW BALL, NOT FOOD!" And of course, he will usually throw it again. Its a game, yes...I don't know when it gets better....

IF its something that is VERY dangerous I YELL "NO! HURT BABY!!" and he gets really scared and alarmed and leaves it alone. Spanking doesn't do a lot with his personality so I try, but so far nothing...Stephanie (my sis) says maybe i just haven't beat him hard enough yet! She's joking...

But anyway, good luck! it sucks, I know...but i think it will get better !

OH and btw...I think I MAY have started spanking his hand around 9 to 10 months when he would try to go for the electric cord of the lamp! :S BUT, its only here since he turned 1 that I have really been hand spanking and regular spanking more when I want him to straighten up. BUT, its not enough to really even hurt him...he usually laughs, unless it hurts his feelings.

Is Owen very opinionated and stubborn? Thane is so far

Thanks for the response Ginny.
This will sound silly but I don't know if Owen is stubborn yet! He hasn't really shown that tendency but he is still young! I'm assuming since both his mom and dad are extremely stubborn he will be too!
Today he kept trying to shut a cabinet door on his fingers and I kept saying "no no". I didn't work. After 3 or 4 attempts and even moving him and trying to get him involved in something else I popped his hand and said "no no". The little stinker busted out laughing!!!!
I guess for now I will just keep saying "no" and popping his hand if he's in a position to hurt himself. I believe in spanking but not at this age. That will have to wait until he's truly old enough to understand.

His little personality is really starting to blossom. He is super funny and he's super cute and I think he knows it!

I know EXACTLY what you mean!! I believe in spanking too, but i didn't spank Thane til maybe about a month ago, except once a few months ago when he pitched a fit after his bath and I'd had enough! But, yeah, Owen is only 9 months old, so yeah he is still very young. I agree with you there on the spanking thing! I still don't spank him much cuz it makes no difference right now...here in a few months though...it SHOULD make a difference!!!

Anyway, good luck and I know that their little personalities are just blooming! Its so neat how are babies are growing

Kyrah also can do the, laughing when we say no, we have said UH AH in a stern voice from early ans that usually works but when she is a stubborn mood, i say UH ah, she does it again i said no Kyrah she does it again, i will say no and give her hand a little smack or move her away from it depending how dangerous etc it is. Sometimes the sterner i get the more she thinks its funny. Another thing that works for us is clapping loudly and going OH ( sucking in your breathe sound) and this scares her and she straight away drops it or moves away. Those are our techinques so far, but i do belive a little smack is ok, as long as they know why and it isnt the first option etc and it happens when they are actually caught doing it, like i said i usully give her warnings first and when she can understand me better i plan on doing that.... tell her not to do it and why not, then if she does it again i will tell her again and tell her if she does it one more time, she wil have time out or a smack - of course it depends on the situation etc and of course not even that always works lol

Jayden is stubborn and willful. She's so used to be "popped", when I say no in a stern voice, she gives me her hand. She'll cry really hard when I really pop her, but go back to it. When she sees me coming, she'll take off running cause she knows that she's not suppose to be touching it. Her level of understanding is really high. I'll say, Jayden are you sleepy, and if she is, she'll lie down on the floor and suck her thumb. If I say, Jayden lie down so I can change your diaper, and she'll lie back on the floor. If I say, let's go, she'll go to the door. Jayden, so you want to eat, and she goes to the kitchen. So, I have no doubt that she understands most of what I say, including NO. Most of the time, she will listen, but sometimes her little personality gets to be too much. My mom once told me when Jadah was a baby, that babies learn to understand you a lot sooner than than they're able to let you know that they understand, and that we as parents often underestimate them. Good luck to us all!!!!

I have noticed I get better results with a gruff EHHHH or UH AHH. I'm not sure why. Probably because it's not a sound we typically make and it's made Owen cry before!
I'm also glad to know I'm not the only one that has popped a hand!

He's such a good baby 99.9% of the time but he's beginning to test the waters a little and I want to have a handle on it before it gets out of control!

heh, if i say no to kaydance, she will come right back at me and SCREAM "NNOOOOOO" so i dont do that. she has to be close to killing herself somehow for me to say no lol, but usually i just make the "uh ah" noise fairly loud and that gets her attention. if she still wont listen to me i remove her from the situation, and if she goes back and does the same thing over again, i will give her a 1 minute time out in her crib and shes usually much better after. weve never had a problem go further than that before and when she goes in her crib she will sit in there quietly for her 1 minute and be in a better mood when i get her. she seems to like her quiet time, i will put her in her crib for a few minutes if shes extremely fussy but not needing a nap and usually she is much refreshed afterward, so i guess a small amount of quiet time is what she needs, but in an environment where she cant hurt herself lol.

I screamed at Audrey yesterday really scared because I didnt' expect her to head towards the top of the stairs and I was busy doing something and I scared her to death and she started to cry, the poor muffin She is really into getting into things but I tell her not to touch that several times before she realizes that she's not suppose to, but she certainly tries. Spanking , hummm....I haven't done that much and if I do I make it count. I do hit her hands often, but haven't much because I notice she's getting aggressive lately too. When I shake my head 'yes' she shakes her head 'no' with a cheeky smile, hehe!! She hasn't said 'no' yet, we don't use that word in our house...

Phew......kinda glad to see that everyone is going through this at one stage or another. It's a gamble to whether Theo listens to us or not sometimes he does and sometimes he shakes his head back at us when we are saying smile with a massive grin on his face of course it's soooooo hard not to laugh when he is being so cheeky!!

I have started to slap his hand when he touches thing's he shouldn't after 3 NO's, I always replace what he shouldn't touch with something he can touch such as a toy.

But the little stage we are going through now which is REALLY testing me is he is throwing everything on the floor and laughing, I know that he is testing my limits but when will it stop?????

Georgi - from what I hear the testing bit NEVER stops! I have a 28 year old sister and she STILL tests my parents!

Does Theo spit out his food and try to grab the spoon or bowl from you? Owen has been doing this and I used to try to push through the meal but today I was so fed up that I just put the food away and got him out of the high chair. Maybe he does this when he's not hungry and he's trying to tell me?!!!!

Gutter - I made Owen cry once from my reaction too! It's terrible, I know, but I think it's just knee-jerk reaction when they are in harms way.

Jayden spits out her food when she's done. I usually try a few different foods of her meal before I know for a fact that's she's done. But, the only time we feed her is when it's something that needs a spoon. But, 90% of the time, she's feeding herself, so she yells to me, or tries to stand up in her high chair when she's done. I've been wondering, though, if I am doing the right thing, letting her feed herself with her fingers instead of with a spoon. I must ponder this. Maybe I should just give her a spoon everytime so she gets used to using it..hmmmmmm.

Lou Lou, when Theo's had enough he usually rips his bib off and just moans, occasionally I am treated to him blowing raspberries at me when he has food in his mouth he never really grabs the bowl or spoon, well not yet anyway!!!

Mscherry - I think if I were you I would give her a spoon at each meal time and if she ends up using her fingers then so be it but at least she will associate the spoon with a meal time making the transition from fingers to spoon easier for you both!

Lucy grabs the spoon. After she starts to get filled up, she will grab it and stick it in her mouth and gum it. Then turn it around and gum the handle. And she has a death grip on it, you have to pry it away from her. If she is really full sometimes she will bat it away so baby food goes flying everywhere. She will also grab her bib and start yanking it, like I am soo done with this.

She knows what no-no means. She will stop what she is doing and then grin and go right back to it. After 3 no-nos, distracting her from it inbetween, I will pop her hand a little. She usually bursts out crying, I think it hurts her feelings, because I am barely touching her.

Mr Owen must be one laid back little boy if you have never seen his temper. Miss Thing has one and it shows.

Owen is VERY laid back although I am seeing more tiny temper tantrums as he gets older. Today was the first time he got mad when I got him out of the tub! He arched his back and kicked! It caught me off guard because he's usually so agreeable.

DM - I agree with you about the hurting their feelings more than hurting their hands! That seems to be Owen's reaction too.


I'm so glad we all have each other!

Kyrah also feeds herself 90% of the time but when i feed her she will spit food out when she has had enough and when she feeds herself she starts playing with it or throwing it offf the high chair. Kyrah also uses her fingers, she likes to take the spoon off me wheni do feed her and tried to feed herself, sometimes i give her a spoon and she lays with it and she still eats with her fingers lol i will keep trying though
Also do you guys put their food on the high chair tray or on a plate?

I spread her food out on her tray. I've tried putting it on a plate, but she seems to like to turn the plate over and have it fall on the floor. I've learned from Jadah, to talk to them like their big kids cause it seems to help their understanding. So, now when I say, are you ready to get out of the tub, she'll either lie down in the tub indicating she's not ready, or she'll stand up. Same thing with eating, if I say Jayden, do you want to eat, she'll go running to the kitchen. The kicker is when I ask her if she wants to go night-night, and she goes running to her bed. I put her in there, and she goes right to sleep. She doesn't just cry a lot anymore since she's learning to express herself more. Like, she yells at me when her movie is over on the DVD player in the truck. Granted, I'll be so happy when she starts speaking English, but it's a relief to have some communication, instead of trying to use process of elimination while she's crying and having a fit. When it's time to change her diaper, I'll tell her to lie down, and she does, no problems, and will sometimes hold her legs for me. But, she cries every time we do this when she first wakes up. Either she's tired of lying down, or she just doesn't feel like being bothered.

Owen likes to help at diaper time. When he sees me get a diaper he will start crawling to me and then he holds the clean diaper while I take off the dirty one..... it's also a great distraction and makes diapering a bit easier.

I put Owen's food on the tray and let him self feed while I spoon feed every few bites. If I didn't do it this way he would be upset that he couldn't feed himself but he's so slow so I help out to speed up the process. Every time I give him the spoon he crams it down his throat and chokes on it. I keep offering it hoping that one day he wont do it but he does it EVERY time. I've been giving him the Gerber graduate pastas and he LOVES them! I usually do one of those and then a jar of veggies or cut up veggies and fruit.

Cherry - I am looking forward to the day when Owen communicates more easily with me too! It will help so much - especially when I know he feels bad and can't figure out WHY!