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Feel a bit guilty...

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Lou Lou
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Post  galaxy Mon May 11, 2009 2:31 pm

I stupidly made friends with an ex boyfriend of facebook ages ago. It was so stupid becasue he made me feel so worthless and walked all over me but I just had this niggling curiosity to see what he was up to these days. Anyway, he came on the instant chat thing earlier and it sounded like he was suggesting we meet up and going on about a certain weekend in a hotel that we had together. I stopped the conversation right there but now I feel I have betrayed dh in some way. I have absolutely no interest in this man and don't know why I even bothered making friends with. There are a couple of others that I am friends with and I don't know if I should just remove them and forget about them completely. I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Confused
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Post  Lou Lou Mon May 11, 2009 2:51 pm

Emma - I am friends with a few of my exs on FB and I've chatted with them BUT I have no intention of meeting them, rekindling anything etc. Does your DH know you guys are friends? My DH knows that I have them as my friends on FB. I guess that's why I don't feel concerned about it.
I understand you feeling guilty about it thought - especially in light of what Nika is going through.

I think you have to follow your gut instinct. If you feel it isn't healthy and could harm you or your DH in anyway then I would not promote conversation with him anymore.

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Post  White Lily Tue May 12, 2009 8:17 am

Emma there is nothing at all to feel guilty about hun. I am friends with a couple of my exes on there and don't really see anything wrong in that. A couple of weeks ago one of them started talking about something I wasn't comfortable with so I just killed the conversation. If he tries it again I will probably delete him. I told BF straight away what was said so nothing could come from it. I notice now there is the option to only activate chat for certain people, maybe just make sure the chat option is turned off for him in future.

At the end of the day I agree with Lou Lou, follow your gut. If you don't feel comfortable then just delete him but please don't feel guilty.
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Post  skyllar Tue May 12, 2009 9:46 am

DH has a bunch of his exes on FB as his friends. I am not too worried since he told me about it and shows me postings. I sometimes ask about them. I don't really have any exes of mine as FB friends - I recently found one, but felt weird adding him as a friend - no idea why, just feel like I am getting caught or something. That's just me being silly. Follow your gut, if it seems right, then go ahead. If it seems weird, then just delete him.
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Post  galaxy Tue May 12, 2009 2:43 pm

Well, I deleted them and blocked them in the end. Just felt it was the right thing to do. DH is an amazing man and none of them are a patch on him. Don't know why I added them in the first place, just curiosity got the better of me. I think part of it was that I wanted to rub in their faces how well everything has turned out because they were real dick heads in all honesty. I just seemed to attract idiots at the time. Still feel as if I betrayed him in some way so I will probably tell him at some point but when we have time to sit down and chat properly, plus if I offer him a bit of nooky afterwards that might help him forgive me, he he!
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Post  Lily*Blossom Wed May 20, 2009 11:06 pm

I think that you have nothing to feel guilty for. Just tell your partner exactly what happened, that you and your ex became friends on facebook and he all of the sudden started chatting you up. There's no harm in being facebook friends, he is the one who crossed the line, you couldn't have known that he would proposition you like that. You partner sounds like a wonderful man, I know he will understand what happened.
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Post  Toffee Thu May 21, 2009 7:33 am

There's nothing wrong with finding out what they are upto these days. You did nothing wrong, you didn't suggest anything, or want anything out of it. Therefore you have nothing to feel guilty about.

I've had people I knew years ago try and chat me up on msn/fbook. I did delete them, as they were crossing the line and I had never led them on.
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