My thoughts while reading the book

So I finally got The Secret from the library a couple of weeks ago and finally started reading it. Haven't made it too far into yet, but I'm taking my time, trying to take in every word and thought.

Regarding the Law of Attraction -- I have definitely seen this, particularly in a negative sense! The best man at our wedding was R., who is married to T., and they have 5 children (his and hers) who they raised together since all the kids were young. The kids are now all grown. But at once point or another this family, much of it from the kids, has experienced EVERYTHING bad you can practically think of! I'm absolutely serious, and hubby and I have commented on this before. Let's see.....drug abuse/addiction, alcohol abuse/addiction, domestic violence, arrest/jail time, theft, a serious car accident that left T. in chronic debilitating pain, financial difficulties, rape, mental illness including time in a mental health facility, devil possession (not making this up, they claim this is true!), and finally last we knew, a major heart attack for R. at 48 whose heart was shocked back into beating -- shocked one more time then they normally do. It's probably a good thing that MrG and I don't see them anymore. In fact, we've only seen them once since our wedding 6 years ago.

I explained a little bit to MrG. about the Law of Attraction and used R. and T. as a negative example. Like I said, we've talked about it before and wonder what they've done to bring all this upon themselves. The negative Law of Attraction at work?

So you all know that we've been trying to have a baby and haven't succeeded yet, so while reading The Secret that is the one thing that I want, the one thing that I am asking for, the one thing I am focusing on, and the one thing I'm thinking about while reading the book. I'm trying very hard to think only positive thoughts and keep thinking about ovulation/fertilization/implantation rather than what if I'm not ovulating. Positive thoughts. Maybe it's rubbing off -- last night after a BDing session, hubby called the dog over and told her "we were making a baby!"

One thing I'm still trying to grasp is a passage that says not to think about HOW what you want (a baby) is going to happen, only have faith that it will happen. Well, I've been TTCing too long to just let it go like that. But today I read something about taking Action: Action will sometimes be required, but if you're really doing it in line with what the Universe is trying to bring to you, it's going to feel joyous. Ok, now that makes more sense to me.

Some of you also may know that I've been seeing an acupuncturist. So that has become my Action, I guess you could say. Feeling joyous? Well, I don't know about that, but I have felt much more positive since I started going, perhaps from a sense that I'm doing something to solve the issue and I'm more in control (making my own decisions vs. waiting for phone calls/answers from doctors). Also my acu dr. and her staff seem very dedicated and concerned about helping me achieve this. She says acu will help bring my hormones back into balance and help me ovulate.

And perhaps The Secret at work again....I purchased a 10-session package for $550. If there's such a thing as "extra money," we had $320 of extra money and the rest went on a very low interest rate credit card. And furthermore, I asked last night how many sessions I've used, and I was told "three." Hmmmm, I know for a fact that I've been there five times!

Oh, another thought on the Law of Attraction -- my very first acu session, the attendant who prepped me knew I was there for fertility acu and told me she was 6 months pregnant! Now, I could think "geez, everyone is pregnant but me," but instead (because I had started reading the book), I just thought that I was attracting pregnant women/pregnant thoughts because that's what I wanted. Maybe a bit of a stretch there, I'm not sure. Coincidentally (or not) the next day I was in my favorite sandwich shop and happened to make eye contact more than once with a woman seated nearby. Don't know why, but she later stood and I noticed she was pregnant!

I've commented before that I want to send my RE, the doc who told me I'd probably never get pregnant, a note when I do get that , telling him he was wrong. Well, I realized that's a negative thought, so now I'm thinking about sending him a note when I get the , thanking him for making me more determined to make it happen and seeking the help I needed! Also been thinking about rushing into my acu doc's office the morning I get that to tell her the news! Positive thoughts for positive results.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts and comments as I read more. This isn't a diary thread so feel free to comment! Please DO comment and share, in fact!

Well Beth,firslty I am SO glad that you even entertainted the thought of reading it and that you have and are trying it out is GREAT,The hardest part about changing/doing /trying anything new is sticking to it and actually cahnging your WAY of thinking.It sounds lik eyou are being very open and findig real life examples!I totally agree about your ex freinds negativity and how it just keeps on coming.I am also glad you are not really in touch with them anymore,when you are surrounded by negaitve people it's often easy to get sucked in.

When they say it should be joyous,I think that could also be interpreted as 'getting excited/enthused or just positive about an action you are taking in the direction of your goal.Remember it's all about feeling anf positive energy.It's empowering and exciting to take control over your life,especially when it's getting things you want,in you case a baby.I think it is NO accident that your accupuncture sessions have not been counted right dont say anyting,take what is being given and smile! :)If you're not hurting anyone then why not!It's a gift,dont worry about HOW...thats easy too...

JUST LET GO,the temping,the charting all that crap...do you think people Cant get pregnant without it?of course not,it's asking you to just TRUST and do what you feel compelled to do!I think you already are doing this and it's great!

I'll give you an example for me,at the moment,hubby has no job,(I think a lot of that comes from his doubt in certain things) it does take to of you when facing a mutual goal,but in this case it's mostly 'his' job so I can't interfer too much except try and keep him laughing and joking.But back to my point.We have no money right now,bills out the wazzo,probably going to have to relocate,BUT i am not worried,I trust and sure enough,JUST as we think,shit we're out of XXXX someone gives us something,or some extra money shows up!

I do this for my friends when I can and I LOVE to,I give joyously.Again I have strayed away from my point sorry...
SO...we are broke right?Stuck so to say until hubby ghets another job.

My dream is forus to have our dream wedding on a cruise ship with our friends and fmaily in july 2010...not too far away!SO I have begun looking at the princess cruise time tables and itinararies.I have been looking at my wedding dresses,cakes,making guest lists...going about it as if it's already booked and I believe that SOMEHOW it will happen just as I see it and want it! Its like embellising a daydream,living it,encourage your daydream,draw,doodle cut stick,then sit back and look at your dream,sigh contentedly and notice the feeling you get from picturing yourself there in the moment THAT is the good feeling they are taling about putting out there.The though part is shutting up the sceptic in us,the negatively condition 'realistic' part of us that squashes and crushes the daydream so that it may never come to be.It IS hard,we have been told that life is hard,money is scarce,you see things everyday that make you THINK and condition you to think that once you get passed 35...infertitlity is RIFE,even on a subconciosu level,you HEAR it and it doesnt take much to manifest this.BUt also...if people can get up and walk after they have been told they are parylizes,if people can cure themselves of cancer,if people who have been tolf they will never concieve fall pregnant with twins...why not you?Because it CAN happen,the doctors are NOT right because they cannot control YOU and YOU have far FAR much more control over your life and your body than you think,you're just not used to knowing it yet.But once you have mastered it (I am still working on it) its wonderful and an upward spriral.

I have not had a cold in over a year,everyone else in my house has...sevral times over...not sure why...but I 'refuse'to have it,I just picture my little cells making a wall and the bacteria/germ/virus bouncing off it the wall and back out unable to get in and make me sick!Sound crazy?I dont care.works for me!

Keep dreaming,make a scrapbook,buy a baby's onesie!You ARE atracted to pregnant women,you must keep the full belly in your mind so that you may have it yourself!It's not a bad thing!Smile at those pregnant women and picture it being you!picture baby dust falling off them and onto you as they walk by! I believe!

Go BETH!Cant wait to hear what happend next for you!KEEP believing and smiling,I totally believe it will happen foryou and you're doing GREAT

Angel, I was hoping you'd see this! And thank you and Georgi both for your kind comments!

I really am a positive person by nature; I do try to see the brighter side of things. After I got that news from the RE and kind of gave up for a brief time, I realized that I had been so worried and stressed about things for quite a while. So in an odd way, his proclaimation was actually liberating. I certainly wouldn't say I've mastered the concept though. Had a setback over the weekend when hubby told me an old friend had called and hubby learned of their adoption horror story. Ok, that worried me, but I just said we had to have our own instead! But then found myself feeling stressed and worried yesterday, that old desperate feeling, that my ovaries where still on strike. So I was struggling last evening through my acu appt trying to think of good things but at least I was aware of that I was slipping. Self-awareness has to be a first step, I think.

Tonight hubby was talking to the dog (we talk to our pets a lot, lol) and he made a comment to her about me and added "and now she's pregnant!" Guess he's thinking positively too.

Angel, keep your husband thinking that he'll find the right job soon! I do believe that things happen for a reason. I met my boss quite a few years ago and he actually offered me a job back then. I turned him down, and later took what I thought was my dream job somewhere else, which didn't work out. Approached my now-boss again, and starting working for him part-time, and then within 3 or 4 months, full-time. Guess it was meant to be, huh? We've worked together 7 years now -- wow, how time flies! And while I didn't recognize it at the time, this job with this boss has provided me with greater opportunity professionally and financially than that other "dream job" could have. So that "dream job" wasn't right for me....just as your husband's last job probably wasn't right either. Have faith and the right opportunity will present itself. You have to open yourself to good things for them to happen!

Anybody ever watch that show My Name is Earl? I think Earl knows the Secret! His mantra is "do good things, and good things happen." Maybe that's why I like the show so much.

Angel, I think it's great you're still moving forward with wedding dreams and plans. In the book, the author says how she had no idea how she'd ever make The Secret into a film project but just kept working at it with the faith that it would all work out. Same concept, huh?

Yes Beth,that is the whole thing,you don't worry about the details of HOW,you just keep focussinf on the 'end result.'

Also,the thing that I clung to from the secret movie is,when you have a negaitve thought,acknowledge it,then replace it with something good.for example.You're laying on your acc table and worrying that your ovaries are not working.You have acknowledged that is a negative thought,thats fine,don't dwell or worse worry that you HAD the negative thought when you know you need to be thining positive thoughts.Just stop right there,and say to your self,ok,worry accepted...now...what is it I want?Ah yes...baby!And then focus on your pregnancy in all stages,the first ultrasound and hubby being there holding your hand,when you start to get a little bump,the first kick you feel,then picture yourself getting bigger,maybe another ultrasound to find out the sex?Then start browsing 9in your mind or for real) nursery colours/themes,what crib would you get,maybe a onesie for baby?Then see yourself,with hubby driving to the hsopital,timing your contractions,then see yourself holding your beautiful healthy new baby.If you can do this everyday (obviously your own version) then I think this will do it.If you can go intol as much detail as possible,it makes it more real.The body cannot distinguish between your imagination and the reality og it wgich is what puts out those positive vibrations.We all have doubts,questions ,slip ups,its in our nature.It's how we were tought,its not east to undo it over night,but don't give up,what harm can it do?If all it does it give you the ability to recognise when you are in a funnk and maybe learn how to get yourself out.It's stilla good thing right!

I think you're doing great and be sure to praise hubby because he's doing great too! :)love on ya! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

just a quick note about my overall progress: well I was unable to confirm ovulation with any test but had significant o-pain Tuesday night after my acupuncture session so it really may have happened! Hubby and I got in another BDing session just in case. Dr. is very encouraged and optimistic as well. So I feel I'm back on track again and will continue to think positive thoughts about being pregnant and anticipating our new baby.

Angel, your comments about acknowledging but not dwelling on negative thoughts helps!

BethG wrote:

Angel, your comments about acknowledging but not dwelling on negative thoughts helps!

I am so glad,I got that from the movie,it's worth waching if you want me to send it to you? I hear its not the same as the book and has some inspirational stories on there.Some people find it easier to digest than a book! Let me know!

Oh and Georgi,I didn't mean to ignore you hunny!Thats GREAT news about your gas bill and a WONDERFUL example of how giving positively works in your favour too.I have been giving away quite a lot of stuff with freecycle in the last few weeks,I hope we are due to get some back right now.God knows we need it! LOL

I havn't posted here in a while but I still come on here every couple of days and check things out! Beth you have inspired me to buy a copy of the secret! I have just this minute purchased it on ebay! I will be sure to let you all know how I get on with it! lol! Thought this would please you too Angel

Yes,I think everyone should see/read it and then at LEAST try it,not because it's called the secret but just because I only realised once I'd seen it,what a whining and negative bitch I was and also how many of the people around me were.It s not always there fault coz (like me at the time) I didnt realise until I'd watched the movie.Then it made me happy that I could take control at least a little more over my life/destiny and ESPECIALLY my healhth,even if you don't beluiev all the 'having what you want and getting rich stuff,there is FAR more proof above and beyond this that people can have mind over matter.

mel! I'm glad you're going to give it a read. I like what Angel said here:

Angel wrote:Then it made me happy that I could take control at least a little more over my life/destiny and ESPECIALLY my healhth,even if you don't beluiev all the 'having what you want and getting rich stuff,there is FAR more proof above and beyond this that people can have mind over matter.

November 11th was the worst day of my life, the day that doctor told me that. I could have just crawled into bed and stayed there for weeks, staying depressed, but I didn't because eventually I knew I had to live again and do something to get myself balanced emotionally again. So I felt it was worth a try; I needed a bit of control back in my life. For all those months I was focusing on what was not happening, rather than what I wanted to happen. Even though I haven't read too much yet, it's just helped me get a new perspective on things, but actually, I think I've known The Secret in my heart and head all this time, I just lost my way.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. ((HUGS TO WHITE LILY!))

I hear you Beth,a lot of people feel that they have either already been using the secret way of living in their lives somewhat or at least they can recognise aspects of it.I know that when I first discovered it,it was the closest thing I have ever come to 'finding a religion'.I went to many different churches when I was young,everytime I felt that I knew something they didn't,I felt smarter and perhaps even 'above it all' It just seemed to me that there was FAR more to life than saying (please note,here I mean no offence to any religious people here it's just my take) 'Well god has a plan for us,we're all born sinners,and bascially we're at his mercy' Thats what MOST of the people seem to have bought into and like it sais in the movie (the secret) one of my favourtie lines is a guy who sais 'You probably have a lot of "spiritual friends" but they're sick and broke all the time" thats not wealth.He also goes on to say that wealth is over all well being,good health,happiness and that although money is a part of wealth it's a combination of things.I totally agree with this and it's one of the things that frustrates me the most with someone I love dearly.

She is very religious and of an older generation,but she had surgery and arthuritus,no 'serious' medical problems or diseases,although you would think so to hear her.I went out on a limb and showed her the part of the secret where the guy heals himself from paralysis even when the docs told him he wont breathe again let alone walk.He did it,I also showed her the woman who had cured herself of breast cancer with no treatment just by keeping light,laughing a lot and being thankful for her 'healing'everyday.Now I am sure that her 'healing' although it's not mentioned directly has something to do with 'god' or some other religion.And THIS is where I think it's GREAT.She was being thankful for her healing (it doesnt matter WHAT you believe in as long as you are able to stay positive and take SOME control) She decided to watch funny movies (the lady who had cancer in the movie) and just try and remove all stress from her life! It worked!You can call it whatever you want,the universe,god,muhamed...whatever.BUT the point I wanted to make was.

When I showed this part of the DVD to this person,not only was she greatly uninterested,but she seemed to ignore it even as it was on,once it was over she said she felt like I didn't believe her.I told her it wasnt the case I just wanted her to get better and maybe try the positive thinking thing and perhaps it would work for her (at the time) upcoming surgery.Of course she chose to 'leave it all in the good lords hands' that sentence makes my skin crawl.I know it's beside the point a bit,but it's almost as if some people ENJOY living the sad,painful,broke,lonely,sick hand they've been dealt when they won't even entertain the idea of trying to take some control or break away from the heard for a minute and try something new.I appreciate that some people have ONLY known that all their lives,but just because all your life you have never tried sushi...does that mean you never will?Life is about living.Being positive and thankful and changing your attitide it not breaking any rules,hurting anyone,going agaisnt a religion.I realise along my journey that a LOT of people are just resistant to change and also potential happiness,like it's to be feared.

Anyway,rant over,I am just VERY pleased that some of us have been prepared to step out of the box and LIVE I think that if you REALLY apply yourselves to it,you can only gain from it.I am a poor example right now,but I can tell you that it did change my life and I have NOT given up on it by a long stretch,I DO feel better whatever my situation and perhaps if nothing else,I have learned to cope better.If this had happened (the job thing) 4 years ago,I would have crawled under the covers,like you said Beth,and probably not come out.This time,I am ready and dispite EVERYTHING,we still laaugh and smile,that much I HAVE changed permanently!

Well the book arrived today and I started reading it almost straight away! So far so good, I am already feeling much calmer and in more control of my life!

As I expressed to Angel before, I was a little worried about wether I would be able to do this. It's a hard one to explain but I just don't *feel* optimistic most of the time! lol! Not that I am misreable or anything but I always liked to think of myself as a realist rather than an optimist. I am a natural born worrier and find it almost impossible to turn that off, I envy people that think there is no point in worrying about something untill it happens as I have never understood how you could not worry about something. Surely if you *feel* worried you can't just switch it off?

I started reading the book during my lunch break, just a few pages to start off with, and already found I was thinking differently. Of course, being a natural born worrier, I started to worry about getting negative thoughts and how I would stop them! lol! I know I know, this in itself is a negative thought!!!! But then I read on to find that this is a common first reaction and that it's possible to erase negative thoughts after you have had them, this helped to ease my mind a little!

So anyway, I havn't read an awfull lot of it yet, don't want to overload my brain with too much thinking, but from what I have read I think it makes sense. When I think of people in my life that we all say "have all the luck" and then there are other people that seem to have lots of bad things happen. The ones that do seem to live a chramed life are the ones that are positive and that belive good things will happen (even if they don't actually know anything about the secret, it's just the way they are) and the ones that get all the bad luck are the negative people that expect bad things to happen to them. I sort of think I am inbetween, havn't had a fantastic life, but not a bad life either. My emotions alot of the time seem to be mixed so I wonder if I am atracting mixed luck, if that makes any sense?

Well I wrote a list of things that I want, and looking at the list I don't think anything on there is unrealistic! Most of the things I want are very simple (my own family, security, to be financially stable, to be happy etc) Pretty much what most people want I should imagine! I am going to keep the list with me and then I will be able to look at it whenever I need to remind myself exactly what I want out of life.

Anyway, I have rambled enough! I will be back to let you all know how I am getting on with the book when I have read more!

mel honey, I'm proud of you! Probably as pleased as Holi was when I posted I started reading it, lol.

I felt the same way when I started reading. Just little bits at a time, let it sink it, but I felt like I was on my way to something better immediately. I think it's all about taking control of our emotions/life and instead of just feeling at the mercy of our circumstances.

So what do you worry about in life? Maybe talking it out would help you. Or we could help you find some positive ways of thinking about stuff.

I have some more thoughts (read a bit today) but too tired to post it right now. Tomorrow hopefully!

What do I worry about in life? Short answer is pretty much everything! lol! When I say I am a natural born worrier I am not exagirating! Plus I have always been the sort who tends to expect the worse so as not to be disapointed, I think it's how I have always coped with things! If I expect the worst and then something good happens then thats a nice suprise! I have pretty much been this way throughout my ttc journey, even on months when things have looked a little more hopefull I have always tried to mentally prepare myself for arriving, thats just the way I have always dealt with my emotions! Not anymore though!

I already feel more emotionally stable. Take my upcoming HSG for instance. It's tomorrow and I don't even feel stressed about it, whereas normally I would be a wreck! I would normally convince myself that I will get bad news and that way if the news isn't bad, it will be a nice suprise!

It's not just in ttc that I have always applied this way of thinking, it's in every aspect of my life!

I have to stop trying to figure out all the hows and whys though. This is another thing I have always done, always wanted to know exactly how something works and trying to do this with the law of attraction makes my head hurt!

white lily, I noticed you seemed calmer about the HSG tomorrow. Good for you!

I was thinking of you today while at lunch -- reading the book some more and pondering things. I guess I worry about some things too. Not only about having a baby but where his room will be because our little dressing/computer room (2nd bedroom) is cramped, crowded, and in desperate need of major remodel/repair after storm damage 7 freakin' years ago! And our vehicles (we have 5! Why do 2 people need FIVE?!) and only 2 have a backseat -- but my car (which I won't even drive anymore) is 11yrs old with 203,000 miles on it. So all of a sudden, I related to that worry thing.

And all of a sudden, I realized that because I've been expecting my husband to NOT complete the bathroom remodel and finish/start other projects, he simply hasn't. So I must start believing that he will. And the car thing....he surprised me over the weekend. We got new tires on the truck I've been driving and got a quote for the car too, but more importantly, got some answers on what needs fixing. We then discussed how much money we really want to put into that car because of the age and miles. I expressed how we really need a FAMILY vehicle for all three of us. And you know what he said, "well we can always trade in the S-10 (little truck I drive) for a car." Wha?? And this is from the man who drives a car/truck until the wheels fall off....and then puts them back on again! Get rid of a vehicle that is in good shape and runs well? OHMYGOSH, my husband is opening himself up to thinking in a new way.

So I too struggle with the "how" of things, but I think we just have to BELIEVE more and we'll find the way. My husband comment about the trade-in made me see that. So starting today, we WILL complete the bathroom and bedroom remodel. OH! And here's another thing, because we heat our home with a wood-burning stove, that back room is the coldest. We, well really HE, has been thinking about ways to supplement the heat in there so it's more appropriate for the baby. WOW, that was an eye-opener when I realized he was doing that!

Start expecting good things for yourself mel! Tomorrow will be fine, and for the next cycle EXPECT and BELIEVE that BF will be home at the right time.

Beth I am so thrilled at how you have leapt into this woth both feet.Everytime I read your posts on here I notice something new that has actually happend that you have 'attracted' with your positive thoughts/feelings.I don't kow if you count all these little things that happen like especially with your hunny but I am for one,amazed at the positivity,change and forward direction he and you have both taken,refusing to be beaten down,talking with the future in the now "wanting the care for the three of us' and 'now that she's pregnant ' (BF talking to dog I believe)? It's Just wondrerful and EXACTLY the way to go!You are a natural!I am so ...I can't think of any other word than proud (I hope you dont take that as condescending.Pplease just keep going on like this,dont loose hope or momentum and I feel you are ALREADY reapinf the benifits of this as a reward but I also believe there are far bigger rewards on there way...or perhaps NOT THAT big

Hugs!

Lily,you are going GREAT as well sweetheart.I know it's hard to chnage the way you think,but you really have nothing to lose and you are already making GREAT changed in your general outlook,dare to trust and believe that you can and will have what you want!You wont be dissapointed.Just live the dream! Proud of you too,...Keep it up!

Thanks Angel! I thought you would be pleased

Going through some crap today though so finding this whole positive thinking difficult at times! I am still trying though!

I hear you,We all have bad days/moments.The trick (I think) is to not feel bad about feeling bad.If I have a shitty day,here'shwat I have taken to doing...

I go home(If I'm not already) sort the kids out with food and tide everyone over until bedtime,all the while allowing myself to 'wallow' a little.I know it's not easy to asmit but I think everyone who reads this will know that if they are being trully honest we all love to wallow or have little pitty parites,even if it's just for a couple of hours.It's somehow theraputic.BUT....here's where you have to change your behaviour.DON"T feel bad about feeling bad,or habing a down day,just set a limit to your wallowing...for example,lets say you had a bad day at work,you can be miserable in the car,on the way home,in the shop while you pick up your dinner and then STOP.You make a note to END the wallowing/dwelling the minute you walk in your house.I hear you say,it's not that easy...oh but it is.HOWEVER<you have to do some physical things...back to what I do...
So my day is awful,I cant take anymoe,I am miserable,angry and sad all at once right...here's what I do.Once everyone is out of the way (in bed) I run myself a long hot bath,light some scented candles...(it sounds cliche but it works) and treat yourself to some ice cream/chocolate,glass of wine and something visual to take your minf off of whats going on,for example I watch my favourite chick flicks,read a book or play xbox.It does usually require a combination of things to dicipate my mood entirely however it ALWAYS works.You have to customise it to YOU and your likes of course.maybe xbox doesnt do it for you ...but I guarentee you there is something in your home that can and will cheer you up YOU have to make the effort (it's a small effort) to physcially do something to get you out of your bad mood and go to bed on a good note.This is where most people go wrong,they listen to it and go 'yeah ok' but do nothing sit on the couch and say 'well I tried to think nice thoughts' you have to take action sometimes.Weather it be as simple as running a bath,calling a friend who always makes you laugh,having a glass of wine with your SO or just wathing a movie.most things require some action,but it's SO worth it.

Don't let having a bad day defeat you,sometimes we all have them,just remember these points when you get in a mood;

* You CAN change it
*Set a limit for it to end (ex;' When I walk in my front door this funk is over')
*TAke action,do what usually comforts you,even if it's breaking your diet rule a little bit for a night
*don't fret about thinking bad thoughts...just acknowledge and replace those thoughts with happy thoughts as soon as you get them.Once you cath yourself doing it it's quite an easy habbit I've found.It doesnt matter how silly or far fetched your ghood thoguht is as long as it's good.For example,I caught myself last night worrying about all of our bills.I quickly turned to my vision board,it's filled with my dream and houses and lovely things ,nothing to do with my current siutation.I instantly feel better when I do that.Failing that,I take some action,pamper myself with a bath or something!

Thanks Angel and that all makes so much sense! When things started to go downhill yesturday I started worrying that I wasn't allowed to feel sorry for myself and that obviously sets off my worrying again. I think I did quite well actually, looking back I could have been alot worse yesturday than I was! If it wasn't for BF making some stupid comments I would have been fine!

Yes,there's a part in the movie "the secret" which I try and remember because it applies to most people at some point in their lives.Its a small sketch of a woman waking up (while the guy narates)"some people if they wake up and stub their toe out of bed.the whole day spirals..,then it show the woman waking up and looking pissed off at her alarm (LOL),then she indeed stubs her toe, and yell,she goes into the bathroom and she's run out of toothpaste and throws the empty tube on the counter,then her tights ladder,then she gets stuck outside in traffic...the guy sais.(basically demonstrating that her day went from bad to worse becaise of her attitude.

Then it's scenario two,the womans alarm goes off,she streches and smiles,she gets out of bed (minus the toe stubbing)goes into the bathroom its at this point that the narrator sais 'if you don't allow the little things to change your mood" and it shows that she is out of toothpaste,but instead of flinging it down on the counter,she shrugs and just brushes her teeth without toothpaste...then it shows her having a lovely rest of her day,even being surprised with flowers...all because she changhed her approach and things spiralled UP this time,it can go either way and while some things are beyond our control,how we see them and react to them is up to us and it's the little moments like the toothpaste running out,(a stupid comment from someone that irritates us,waiting in line a little longer to get your lunch,having to work half an hour late) these are the moments that we ALL have either often or day to day,you CAN decide how you react,its SO easy to see how the little things change your world... :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have something to try...next time you go to work...home in on a co worker and pay them a compliment,maybe somenone you usually ignore,just break into a big wide grin and tell them they look nice today! watch their smile,that makes US feel good.Or if you don't want to do that,just smile at a stranger or two.one might ignore you but 2 more will grin right back!Joy is contagious! I love going to the store,I randonly smile at people,I love the reaction I get,I have yet to have one dissapoint me.I love that part of the movie anyway,it makes SO much sense to me and has been true of many a day for me!

mel, from you other post on AWH, sounds like BF is being better today. I really do think that YOU being positive can rub off on him, so keep it up! You guys in the UK are truely given such a gift when comes to IUI and IVF. Yes, you have to wait for them, but it's pretty much free, right? At least for a few cycles? IVF would run me about HALF of my annual salary before taxes. No insurance coverage for that for almost everyone. That's why it's not an option for soooo many people in the US. IUI is more affordable. I think ANMSMITH said it cost her $975 per cycle though, which isn't peanuts. So look at the positive side of things regarding that. I certainly am hoping you never ever get to that point though! Stop worrying about if BF won't be at home....that's a couple of cycles away anyway. Start focusing on BF WILL BE HOME, BF WILL BE HOME, BF WILL BE HOME. If you haven't reached it in the book yet, avoid negative words like "no" and "not" in your thoughts. So instead of "BF Won't Be Gone," "BF WILL BE HOME" is better. A negative thought pops in your head so stop it. Tell yourself the opposite. I find if I keep telling myself something it gets easier to believe, so keep at it. I'm not even thinking about the next cycle because I keep telling myself that I am pregnant NOW. Hope to confirm that in a few days.

Angel, I did not think your comment was condescending at all -- I knew exactly what you meant and how you felt. Thank you! And your comments about dealing with negative thoughts/bad days helps give us perspective.

Has anyone noticed that you see the negativity in people more clearly now?

Hubby and I have been picking out baby names lately! So far Adam and Eric are in the lead, but Daniel (Danny) is in the running, and he likes Tyler too. My hubby has a very similar name to Georgi's husband and Toffee's BF, so the formal name of that will probably be our baby boy's middle name. Adam is because it's a shortened version of my maiden name. It's fun to do this!

I bought some scrapbooking baby stickers today for my Vision Board! I haven't found the pattern I'm looking for yet, but I am going to cross-stitch a Baby's First Christmas 2009 ornament. This seems to be something I need to do to make this real for me. I also intend to include a (positively worded) note to my former RE. Also seems to be something I need to do.

BethG wrote:
Angel, I did not think your comment was condescending at all -- I knew exactly what you meant and how you felt. Thank you! And your comments about dealing with negative thoughts/bad days helps give us perspective.

Has anyone noticed that you see the negativity in people more clearly now?

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OMG....Beth,Georgi and I were talking about this shortly after we watched the secret (within a few months of each other) It seems that everyone around you is complaining,moaning and whining about SOMETHING,the more time goes on and the more I buy into the 'secret way' it feels like I am constantly judging anf preaching to others about it,but most of all it's a quality I hate in others yet I find myself just getting flat out annoyed with peeople who seemingly whine all the time,not to take away from the fact that "I" used to do it as well ALL the time,but NOW it's as if it's suddenly snapped into sharp focus and JUST like you say,you realise that in general people are SO negative,defeatest and flat out whingers.It made me want to try and help everyone at firstm,then I got frustated and realised that if I wanted to preach and change everybody and MAKE them see MY way,I might as well open a church and call myself a hypocrit right now.BUT I did decide (once again Georgi and I discussed this when we started the forum) that we would have a section here dedicated entirely to the secret,with sections for visions boards and to chat about it freely.Also the whole'philosophy of this place is based on that it's supposed to be a happy positive place where we can all share and love and grow together,so far I think we;ve all succeeded!

I am SO happy to see how great your doing,not because I want to convert you at all,just because I KNOW that given a little time and ALL your belief and effort it will pay off and I LOVE hearing people happy stroeis,defying science and turning their lives around for the better.I am loving every minute of watching you two doing so great with this!Also being cheerleaders for you ! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

heehee! I found some cool things on the internet and made a few things for my Vision Board.....can't wait to put it together and show you girls! Figured I had to get it done before I got my , you know?