I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok,so as some of you know,we suspect that my son has ADHD or some other condition based on his behaviour.(I will get him properly diagnosed at some point) The point is,something is wrong!VERY wrong.I have joint raised many of my friends kids from ages 2 -17 since I was a teenager.I have read MANY and continue to read many books on development and I have a home course of child psychology because it interests me.

now Just to clear something up,my son is VERY sensitve and VERY dramatic,weather he has hurt himself or he is sick it the END of the world.He HAS been like this since WAY before I was pregnant or mention was ever made of a sibling.It does seem tho to have got slightly worse which is understable .I KNOW.

Last night was one of the worst of my life;you may think when I am finished that I am over exagerating but I need to vent anyway.Thanks for reading.

Last night,as usual,I put Teo to bed ,he had a story and then some milk and got in bed.His nose had been a little sniffy and blocked the night before and during the day but not bad.He usually goes to bed with no problems.last night,he kept getting out and complaining that his nose was blocked.he does this EVERYTIME he has a cold.He goes to bed and starts SCREAMING and SHOUTING in a REALLY ANGRY voie "GET OUT GET OUT GET OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUT!" Talking to his blocked nose I guess.He kicks his legs and acts like someone posessed.We have tried calming him,soothing him,then the patience runs out after about the 10th time,it's not the kind of shouting and screaming one can ignore.If ou shut his door he gets up and opens it.He had had medication for decongesting and some benadryl to help him sleep.He kept sniffing and crying.It's as if it's beyond his comprehension what is going on.I have explained MANY times.it's ok,its just a cold,your nose will be stuffy for a few days.He DOES NOT get this,he keeps DEMANDING that I get it out of his nose.If it wasn't so awful it would be funny.

This went on from 8pm (when he fell asleep for a fw hours) ALL night.I tried to go to bed around midnight,I put the baby in the bed with me and fell asleep.what felt like senconds after,he BURST into my bedroom and screamed at me to help him get his nose unstuffed (he can blow it himself but doesnt seem to understand that's how to help it a little)

I told him very patiently that I cant help him.He went back into his room,kept on screaming and kicking.hubby was downstairs working.I asked him to step in so I could get some sleep.He took over,everytime Teo got out of bed and came to the stairs yelling about his nose.Hubby woulf lead him back to his bed and tell him that he was ok and to lay down and sleep.He tried to be nice and exlpain that the medicine would work soon and help him sleep.

Here is a small video of him at the beggingn.This is NOT how bad it got,multiply this by about 5 and thats how bad it got,everyone shouting and screaming. BTW I just watched this again,this doesnt come anywhere CLOSE to what he was doing,I just wanted to show people what he was doing but I didnt film the really bad ones.So please dont base any opinion on thi video!


1hr45 mins later,(I had drifted off for an hour or so) I awoke to the sound of my husband SCREAMING at my son (whihc is scary,he's got a very loud,deep voice) .I fell back asleep only to have this happen every 5 muinutes or so,my hubby thundering up the stairs to tell Teo to STOP openin the door,or stop crying.Eventually I went in and SCREAMED at him myself,I said 'JUST GO TO SLEEP'.I was delirious with exausition and just wanted peace.Again 5 mins later,he was screaming and yelling about his nose.I LOSt it,I went in there and told him people were trying to sleep.He yelled even louder so I flipped him over and spanked the hell out of his butt.I left him cryng and went back to bed.


he did not stop,he carried this on,hubby kept coming up and yelling then coming into our room saying we are NOT having our lives run for us by a 4 almost 5 yr old.I have to agree.Everytime he gets sick this happens,although this time was particularly bad.about 3am,I heard hubby cming up again and I was so angry I felt my whole body heat up,adrenaline rush through my body endlessly and my heart pounding.I tried to lay there and breathe deeply and calm myself down,I couldn'tI grew more and more anxious.Then (I thik Teo fell asleep for a while) I kept thinking every noise was hubby coming upstairs to yell at Teo(It wasnt) I just couldnt take it anymore.my haert was pounding.I guess from the stress?I felt nauseous and shaky.I went downstairs to ask hubby (even though he hadn't been up in a while) to please not yell anymore.I was white as a sheet and so weak with anxiety that I could barely speak.It was so strange,I just had to beg him to not go up and yell anymore.He thought it was weird but agreed.

I went back to bed and finally calmed myself,then about 5 and 6 he woke screaming and I dealt with it because hubby was asleep.So finally at 7am bright eyes and bushy tailed,Teo comes into my room and informs me that 'it's morning' I told him to get his butt back in his room and play quietly.I handled this poorly but I have NEVER had anyone drive me SO crazy.He has NO understanding of ANYTHING,he WILL not listen to ANTHING he is told and he talks/yells back...

IT'S A F********G COLD FOR F****S SAKE! Why is it the end of the world.I have NEVER EVER heard of a child getting So upset about a damned cold.I don't know what to do,hubby doesnt.I am at my witts end.I SUCK at this parenting thing.i have NO patience and if ANYONE tells me he is normal I will scream (no offence it's just how I feel after ALL my obseravtions and experience)

Hun, I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now.. I would get him checked out for sure, if not for your own sanity... It does sound a little off, I have never heard myself of a child feeling this way over a cold.. It can be very frustrating.. And if it is something that is wrong with him, it is not his fault either but he could needs some help on dealing with it, weather it be meds or what I am not sure. We use to have a family that lived beside us that their son had ADHD, and he was a very sweet boy at times but had his melt down moments where nothing they said or did would help snap him out of it, it is a very sad thing to have to watch, I can only imagine how much worse it would be to have to watch happen to your own child..

My thoughts are with you babe, and when you feel you need a breather you need to just take the time to yourself weather you have to go outside to the car and listen to a little calming music or what have you, sometimes it is needed.... I hope you can get the answers you need soon babe..

HUGS!!

RYlee MAck wrote:Hi, Angel. Sorry to hear about your rough night :cry:


I can see how you could get frustrated easily, especially with a baby to care for - you need your sleep!!! I would def. ask your hubby not to yell anymore, it looked like from what you wrote, that it caused alot of anxiety for you. Is Teo mostly like this at night when it's bedtime? I wonder if that might have something to do with it...maybe he just doesn't want to go to bed?

I wish I knew,I have never had trouble with him going to bed in general.He wasnt comlaining so much about going to bed as his noseI have had him checked the first few times it happened and they said there was nothing.He has also had chest xrays etc..He was also screaming about his throat,its part of having a cold.I just dont think he can cope.He gets angry like this over things in the day as well,but its not as long lived like this allnighter was.He just has no coping skills...I think

Hi sweetie. I have been researching online for some sort of answer for you. All I can come up with is that he probably has more than one thing happening for him, a dual diagnosis. I am not going to tell you that what you are going through is normal. I think that whether or not there is one thing you can pin point with Teo, there is definitely something going on there.

I will keep looking. I am so sorry you are going through this. I think when you find out what is happening, it may help you understand what Teo needs, and how to approach it.

Sending a HUGE hug your way.

Thanks so much Tiff,btw you look sooooooooo beautiful in your avatar pic!

thanks Angel, you are so sweet.

I found a great site with loads of info for you. Hope you find something that helps.
http://psychcentral.com/childhood/

thanks so much for lookin,I will have a look now!

I edited the web address to take you straight to the bit about child hood disorders.

xxx

I have looked at all of the disorders and the only one he seems to match up with is ADHD,I have already done the little testing thingy for it on sevral sites.I have found a support group whihc I will check out later on.

Aw, sorry that you didn't come away with anything new :(

Hopefully you can get to the bottom of this soon.

I will get online to chat with you later today.

Luv,
Tiff

Hey Holi,

I'm so sorry to hear you are still having worries with Teo, I watched the video and something came to mind.......I've also based this on past information that you have given, but I wonder if he has sensory issues. I don't know an awful lot about them, only that people with them feel more discomfort in certain situations than what another person might.
For example, your normal speaking voice may be really quite loud to him........and the louder you shout, the more discomfort it causes. When he falls and hits his head, he may find it a lot more painful than someone else. The fact that he runs a lot and jumps, could be his way of dealing with the frustration and overwhelming senses. I wonder if sometimes his own thought processes frighten him. You know how when we are thinking, we hear our own voices in our head.......well perhaps Teo's are extra loud or he hears more than one thought process at a time.
Having a blocked nose is horrible enough for anyone but for someone with sensory issues it could be unbearable. It would explain a lot.........on the other hand I could be completely wrong, just throwing my ideas out there.

I have my own worries with Ethan. We are still having problems with his eating. He won't touch certain foods because he doesn't like the texture, banana's are a BIG no no. Also, he won't touch grass or sand, he gets into a real state. We also wonder if he has some sort of sensory issues. Ethan is also quite hyperactive and he's going to be real hard work when he begins walking properly. He can already move quicker than me with just crawling. Ethan gets really freaked out when I switch the vacuum on or the liquidizer, he hates loud sounds. The thing is, he will play with the vacuum when I've finished using it so he's not frightened of it, just the sound it makes. Although its quite normal for a young child to be frightened of vaccuums.

Anyway, I hope what I've said makes some sense :lol: I'm not too good at explaining things.

Hayley x

petal4 wrote:Hey Holi,

I'm so sorry to hear you are still having worries with Teo, I watched the video and something came to mind.......I've also based this on past information that you have given, but I wonder if he has sensory issues. I don't know an awful lot about them, only that people with them feel more discomfort in certain situations than what another person might.
For example, your normal speaking voice may be really quite loud to him........and the louder you shout, the more discomfort it causes. When he falls and hits his head, he may find it a lot more painful than someone else. The fact that he runs a lot and jumps, could be his way of dealing with the frustration and overwhelming senses. I wonder if sometimes his own thought processes frighten him. You know how when we are thinking, we hear our own voices in our head.......well perhaps Teo's are extra loud or he hears more than one thought process at a time.
Having a blocked nose is horrible enough for anyone but for someone with sensory issues it could be unbearable. It would explain a lot.........on the other hand I could be completely wrong, just throwing my ideas out there.

I have my own worries with Ethan. We are still having problems with his eating. He won't touch certain foods because he doesn't like the texture, banana's are a BIG no no. Also, he won't touch grass or sand, he gets into a real state. We also wonder if he has some sort of sensory issues. Ethan is also quite hyperactive and he's going to be real hard work when he begins walking properly. He can already move quicker than me with just crawling. Ethan gets really freaked out when I switch the vacuum on or the liquidizer, he hates loud sounds. The thing is, he will play with the vacuum when I've finished using it so he's not frightened of it, just the sound it makes. Although its quite normal for a young child to be frightened of vaccuums.

Anyway, I hope what I've said makes some sense :lol: I'm not too good at explaining things.

Hayley x

Well,thanks for this,Its funny someone else just PM'd me about it or possibaly aspergers?I looked it up,The thing is,he doesn't seem to mind textures or foods or anything.However when I yell he puts his hands over his ears.When i vaccume he often runs around laughing hysterically and jumping around.And he ALways seems to exagerate when in pain,like even a tiny bump.we always put it down to him being REALLY dramatic.Its just hard for me to tell if it's him misbehaving/and or exagerating or if it's not his fault.I am not sure.Maybe I will film him while I vaccume and let you all see what he does.

Goodness what a hell of a night no wonder why you wanted to talk! I have to say that Hayleys answer is really informative and throws a new slant on Teo's behaviour it's certainly worth researching the condition she mentioned. As much as I would love to solve this for you, I have no advice or magic solution mores the pity but I can be there for you and listen and just be a friend! Love you babe x x

she is isnt she,I am almost in tears reading.Sorry guys.I am all sappy,probably just tired.Thank you ALL so much for you suggestions,advice and support.It makes me feel a little more secure. xxxx

i am very sorry you are going through a rough time angel, i also dont have much to say as everyone has however if you do need info or support on autism, aspergeous, etc i have done AOT of courses on them for work and would be more than willing to help, i even have a check list of syptmoms somewhere, so just let me know, i have also worked with alot of children with all srts of disorders ( not saying Teo has one) xoxo

thx sparkles,it means a lot.

Aww thanks for asking.It was GREAT!I only woke up a few times.Teo woke up a couple of time but didn't loose his mind like the night before!Phew!I needed it.Baby and I got up at 9am! nice !