Share your most embarrassing moments here.

Man I have several, I am such a klutz.

1)I was at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Southern California with my younger brother and friends about 4 years ago. I had to pee pretty bad before we got inline for a big roller coaster called "Goliath". I looked at the line, and it didn't seem like too long of a wait. However, it turned out to be about a 40 minute wait, and by the time I got on the ride, I was bursting to pee. I laughed so hard on the ride I peed myself. I told my brother and friends that we had BETTER go on a water ride RIGHT AWAY, so I would be entirely soaked and nobody would know I peed my pants. My brother still laughs about this today.

2) When I was 18 I started dating this really hot guy that lived in my student apartment building. He knew I was a water polo player, and asked if I had really strong legs. I said I did. Well he started wrestling with me, and when he did, I got him in a lock with my legs. I squeezed so hard that I totally farted so loud. He just stared at me in horror. I was SO embarrassed! I didn't hear from him after that, and about a month later, he started dating one of my new room mates. They ended up getting married, and later on the guy confessed that that fart totally turned him off. My friend was like, "Thanks for farting, Tiff. If you hadn't, I might not be married to my husband now." That guy wasn't my type anyway, if he couldn't handle bodily functions. We are all human, and to expect a person not to fart or whatever is completely idiotic.

3) I was at a guys house whom I REALLY liked. He was chasing me through the house, and I tried to run out side, but didn't realize that the sliding glass door was closed. I ran into it full force, and knocked myself so silly that I fell backwards and lay on the ground for a good 10 seconds. Needless to say, that guy and I never progressed passed just being friends

LMAO!
That's so weird that you started this thread because I just got back from lunch with one of my friends at work, and she told me an embarrassing story that I couldn't wait to tell you guys.

So there is a unisex bathroom at the opposite end of the building that we only use if we have to go really bad. Well, she thought she had locked the door, until a guy walked in.

But he wasn't paying attention, just walked in with his head down, like he was in his own world, then her voice finally filtered through his brain, and he looked up as was like, "OH!". Then walked back out. Then, she actually had to do business with him throughout the day afterward. Talk about mortifying, yet hilarious, well only from my end!!!

yikes tiff.I love the fart one.Thats when I knew hubby was a keeper..when i let one rip in front of him.We laugh about it so much now like kids whenever any of us fart.We joke that our cute little baby girl does 'man farts' they're HUUUUUUUGE!It was so funny.My son also just lets e, rip...lol

I have to try and convince him not to do it in public.lol

RYlee MAck wrote:Ok I'm so embarrassed. I dont even know what farting is!

I thought I'd educate you Read at your own risk I can't resist teasing here

FARTING:
Farting is the production of a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals or other animals that are byproducts of the digestion process. Such a mixture of gases is known as flatus, and is expelled from the rectum in a process colloquially referred to as "farting". Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same process which causes feces to descend from the large intestine. The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks.

EXPLANATION
Farts are expelled under pressure through the anus, whereby, as a result of the voluntary or involuntary relaxation of the anal sphincter, the rapid evacuation of gases from the lower intestine occurs. Essentially this happens when the flatus pressure inside the rectum exceeds the anal sphincter's ability to restrain it. Depending upon the relative state of the sphincter (relaxed/tense) and the positions of the buttocks, this often results in a crackling or trumpeting sound, but gas can also be passed quietly. The olfactory components of flatulence include skatole, indole, and sulfurous compounds. The non-odorous gases are mainly nitrogen (ingested), carbon dioxide (produced by aerobic microbes or ingested), and hydrogen (produced by some microbes), as well as lesser amounts of oxygen (ingested) and methane (produced by anaerobic microbes). Farts are flammable, as both methane and hydrogen are flammable gases. The odor in flatulence comes from hydrogen sulphide (from foods in the diet) and other sulfur- or nitrogen-containing compounds including methanethiol (methyl mercaptan). Upon lighting a match the hydrogen sulphide will ignite to form water (vapor) and sulphur dioxide. Removing the hydrogen sulphide may also remove the odor, although this has been disputed.

Composition of Fart Gases
Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during farting, along with carbon dioxide which is present in higher quantities in those who drink carbonated beverages regularly. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane. Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.
The gas released during a farting event frequently has an unpleasant odor which mainly results from low molecular weight fatty acids such as butyric acid (rancid butter smell) and reduced sulfur compounds such as hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and carbonyl sulfide that are the result of protein breakdown. The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatus increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species, such as cats and dogs. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum.
The major components of the fart (which are odorless) by percentage are:
Nitrogen - 20% - 90%
Hydrogen - 0% - 50%
Carbon Dioxide - 10% - 30%
Oxygen - 0% - 10%
Methane - 0% - 10%

Mechanism of Action
The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks. The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter muscle and velocity of the gas being propelled, as well as other factors such as water and body fat. The auditory pitch (sound) of the flatulence outburst can also be affected by the anal embouchure. Among humans, flatulence occasionally happens accidentally, such as incidentally to coughing or sneezing or during orgasm; on other occasions, flatulence can be voluntarily elicited by tensing the rectum or "bearing down" and subsequently releasing the anal sphincter, resulting in the expulsion of a flatus.
Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same process which causes feces to descend from the large intestine, and may cause a similar feeling of urgency and discomfort. Nerve endings in the rectum usually enable individuals to distinguish between flatus and feces, [6] although loose stool can confuse the individual, occasionally resulting in accidental defecation, or "sharting".

Causes:

Intestinal gas is composed of varying quantities of exogenous sources (air that is ingested through the nose and mouth) and endogenous sources (gas produced within the digestive tract). The exogenous gases are swallowed (aerophagia) when eating or drinking or increased swallowing during times of excessive salivation (as might occur when nauseated or as the result of gastroesophageal reflux disease). The endogenous gases are produced either as a by-product of digesting certain types of food, or of incomplete digestion. Anything that causes food to be incompletely digested by the stomach and/or small intestine may cause flatulence when the material arrives in the large intestine due to fermentation by yeast or procaryotes normally or abnormally present in the gastrointestinal tract.
Flatulence-producing foods are typically high in certain polysaccharides (especially oligosaccharides such as inulin) and include beans, lentils, dairy products, onions, garlic, scallions, leeks, radishes, sweet potatoes, cashews, Jerusalem artichokes, oats, wheat, yeast in breads, and other vegetables. Cauliflower, Broccoli, cabbage and other cruciferous vegetables that belong to the genus Brassica are commonly reputed to not only increase flatulence, but to increase the pungency of the flatus. In beans, endogenous gases seem to arise from complex oligosaccharide (carbohydrates) that are particularly resistant to digestion by mammals, but which are readily digestible by microorganisms that inhabit the digestive tract. These oligosaccharides pass through the upper intestine largely unchanged, and when these reach the lower intestine, bacteria feed on them, producing copious amounts of flatus. In the case of those with lactose intolerance, intestinal bacteria feeding on lactose can give rise to excessive gas production when milk or lactose-containing substances have been consumed.
Interest in the causes of flatulence was spurred by high-altitude flight and the space program; the low atmospheric pressure, confined conditions, and stresses peculiar to those endeavours were cause for concern. In the field of mountaineering, High Altitude Flatus Expulsion was first noticed over two hundred years ago.

Lol oh no!!!

I have some, but non are as funny as Tiff's

I farted once in assembly....lol.

OMG, I am DYING of laughter right now!!! I can't believe your boss walked in! LOL.

Now see! THIS is why I joined this forum! I mean, where else can you get such important information?!
It had never occurred to me how technical farting was!

You girls do realize that if this was an all male forum someone would be lighting a match under the ass right now to see if they could "make" fire!

hahaha!!!!

Thank you ladies for making me laugh!

LMAO Ry,priceless!

I have absolutely no embarrasing moments....









That I can remember right now.


Maybe peeing outside and being seen by someone.