Considering becoming a FT-SAHM

If I were you, and you have the chance to be a SAHM I would. Sooooo many women would love too, but can't afford too. You can still get Theo and #2 to interact with other babies, by going to mummy/baby clubs!

Would part time be worth it, or pointless?

I know it seems like a leap into the unknown, but it's highly likely you'll be able to go back to work to a good job again.

I would be a SAHM. You can always do part time if you feel like you want too!

My mum was a SAHM and feels very lucky she had the chance.

I just feel torn because once that decision is made there's no going back!!

My Mum stayed at home until I was 5 and then worked fulltime and she says that it was the best days of her life but times have changed and families have no choice but to work....however like I said it would appear when working about the benefits/tax credits we would actually be better off with me NOT working. I think what is going to sway my decision greatly is if I fall pregnant between now and August/September.

i to do love my job (i wouldnt really call it a career lol, i didnt go to college or anything) but i still love it. that being said, if we made enough money and i had the opportunity, i would be a SAHM in a HEARTBEAT!!! LOL!! i love sick days when i have to stay home with kaydee and we get to play and she helps me with the chores even, and we go for walks and wow, i really really would love to do that!! hehehe. but we cant, so ive come to terms with it and make the best out of our situation if i had a choice though thats what i would be doing (hehe i was re-reading my post, and damn i even like the sick days cause i get to be home with my baby even though shes always a grumpy crab on those days cause shes sick!!) lol.

the only think the i REALLY dont take for granted about working though, is that if im sick and kaydance isnt, i get to call in sick at work and send her to daycare anyways where i get to rest until its time to pick her up. that is nice, it must be very difficult for a SAHM to get ill lol!! granted, they dont have babies bringing them sicknesses home from the other kids at daycare, so maybe they just dont get sick often? i dont either though, lol its only been twice i think since she started daycare 5 months ago.

Obviously you don't want Theo to get ill, but, they do need to get ill to boost their immune system on the whole. Kids need to be presented with bacteria! Like I say, just cause you'd be a SAHM doesn't mean Theo can't interact with other kids.

I'd say go for it, you have that chance. You can always go back to work later on, yes it may be harder to get back on the ladder, but it is definitely possible!!!!

Georgi if I were you and had the oppurtunity to be a SAHM I would jump at the chance, even if you decided to only do it for a couple of years! Those precious first few years are so important and you will never get them back. If it makes more sense financially aswell then that is obviously a huge bonus! I hope that when I get pregnant I will be able to have at least the first 2 years or so off work but I have no idea if that will be possible or not!

Hi hun! Wow, you are faced with quite a decision.

Before I start I want to convey that I do not believe there is anything wrong with being a working mum. Some people have to do it, some people choose to do it, whatever the reason, if it is right for you and it works out for your family, then no problem.

But here are my views.

I think that being a parent is the most important job in the world. I really do. This world is really struggling, and is so in need of strong and good individuals. We as parents have a great responsibility. My mom did not work. My dad worked A LOT to make sure she stayed at home with us. I believe that I am a better, stronger person for it. I know that some would disagree that babies do well interacting with other children whilst at daycare.... but I still believe that the most important interaction a child can ever have is with it's parents and family in the home. Happiness and strength, and success, all begin at home.

Georgi, if you have the opportunity to stay home, and it is what you want for yourself, then do it my dear! I think that during the first 5 years of life children are so impressionable and sweet and learning so much about the world. You know Theo best, and if you think he will do best with you home with him, then there is your answer.

I think that once Theo and any other children you may have are in reception at school, then working while they are will be much easier for you.

I am at home with LM. Although I haven't been to University, I really want to do something that will allow me to stay home with my babies. That is why I want to be a nail technician. I can work at home or on saturdays while my husband is home.

I think Georgi that your desire to stay home with Theo is a very good one. I know that you are also thinking in the long term about your job if you stay, that you will be better off financially with a promotion.

However... because your desire to stay home is good and genuine, I believe God, Fate, Karma, whatever you want to call it... will open other doors for you. I'd wager that if you want it to happen, if you use "the Secret" .... that your bridal business will flourish and you will be able to plan around your family and run a very successful business from home.

Follow your heart and you will never go wrong. You are such a great mummy, and if you want to be home and being a SAHM at this point in time, and this is where your heart is... then your choice is clear

Much love!

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Hey Georgi,

It's a decision I wrestled with in France,where I lived,there wasn't a lot of work,it was basically barmaid or shelf stacker at the local supermarket.I didn't want to appear snobby but apart from not wanting to work there (Yes I did consider myself brighter than that,although I have been a cleaner,a waitress and many other'small time jobs' ) I just thought,if I am going to go to work and leave my kid with someone else,it had better be worht my while.LIke a real career.Also there was the minimum wage issue,turned out that if I stayed on benifits I would actually get about $100 more each month than if I worked some shitty job full time and paid someone else to raise my son.So I stayed home until he was two,I was juggling with my options when I met chuck and obviously now we're here in the states and things are different.

Here is my suggesiton for you!If you have the oppertunity to SAH then I wouldnt miss it for the world at least until they are 2-3.That way you get all the bonding,fun times and then they can start to go to playgroup,have potty training out of the way,BUT it is also a sacrafice,like you say,you could get a promotion,you could go to school (if you wanted to) there are so many different things.ONe thing in this world we live in to remember is ,you can ALWAYS go back to school/work but you can't turn back the clock andf spend the baby days with your chidl again.If I had the choice I would do it all again BUT I would have wanted to have gone back to work once Teo was abotu 3,it is claustrphoic,but my situation is quite particular.One great thing you could accomplish by staying at home is you COULD concentrate on meeting some wedding planners,and advertising your make-up services,maybe expland on that a little bit as it would be part time and give a little extra cash BUT still allow you to be flexible there

So,to recap here are my points;

Pros:

*You get to spend time with Theo which you wot get back
*You get some freedom to do what YOU want maybe build a home career.
*If you build a home career,even part time you can have the best of both worlds
*LIfe is more flexible
*NO childcare bills

Cons:

*Career on hold
*Less money

Thats all I can think of right now!Hope you make a decision soon!

Georgi
I want to say first that I know you will not make this decision lightly. I know you want to do what is best for you and your little Theo. I do believe that some mothers NEED to work. They feel more balanced by working, more accomplished, and I know that some moms HAVE to work due to financial needs. I personally feel like I am supposed to be at home with Owen.
My career was thriving! I felt more accomplished than I ever had with my work! In the months before Owen was born I really struggled with it. I couldn't imagine not having my paycheck to do all the fun things we used to do! I didn't like the fact that my DH would be really involved in my spending habits. (still not crazy about that one!) However, I knew in my heart that staying home was the right decision. I can ALWAYS find another job but I wont be able to go back in time and have these moments with Owen.
As far as interaction with other children goes, you can join all sorts of mother's groups. In the US we have programs called Mother's morning out and for $65 - $100 month your child can go to group for 4 hours twice a week and play with other children. Our library also has reading hour for children our age, kindermusik, the list goes on and on!

I recently have been feeling unsuccessful! But I'm taking charge and have started freelancing some and it feels great! It's just enough work to make me feel alive again but not so much that it interferes with my number one priority! Plus, I can take on as few or as many jobs as I want. Currently, I have one client and that's all I want for now!

I think you are actually in a great position because you will have to go back to work for a few months and I'll bet by the end of the first month you will know what will work best for you! What a great opportunity to test the waters!!!!! Most mothers don't have that option. I think you should go about things for now as if you ARE going to return to work (getting Theo on a waiting list for child care, etc) BUT if at the end of the three months it doesn't feel right, then go home!

Hope this helps some!

Lou Lou

I had my own company with employees that I ran successfully for 10 years. But after we adopted the two older children, there just came a point where it wasn't working out. They were in daycare, and it just was not a good time for any of us. I had alot of stress pulling me about 6 different directions. I had very demanding customers, employees who are sometimes just like overgrown children, and the kids all demanding my attention at the same time. I almost had a nervous breakdown, and finally decided to close my company and not look back.

It has been good for us. Things are so much more stable, and when I was sio sick the entire time I was pregnant it didn't affect us financially. And now I get to spend my day with Lucy. But it was hard. We did have to give up some of our lifestyle, and that has been difficult. I have an awesome vehicle we purchased right before that transition. I love it to death, but my business paid for the 3 vehicles before it, and now I just cringe when I think of how much goes out each month from my husband's check to pay for it. It was a hard transition from all the things my business covered for us in the terms of monthly bills!

I have been toying with some ideas to make money part time from home, or maybe get a part time job in the evenings just to ease the strain a little without adding child care costs. But I have no regrets about becoming a stay at home mom. I was happy and fulfilled running my company, and felt somewhat important, but this is better. Other people give me some attitude sometimes, but I choose to look at it as deep down inside they are really kinda envious chained to their desk all week long. Anyways I don't let them bother me, but they are there and they do make little comments....

Hi Georgi,

I have to agree with everyone else it really is an individual choice but my situation was similar to yours. My DH and I sat down and figured out that in the end it could be cheaper for me to stay home because we wouldn't have the cost of childcare but then don't forget work clothes...you can save more money by having the time to actually cook dinner...and cut coupons...and shop for deals...not to mention that the taxes pushed it over in the end.

I was right on the cusp of a huge promotion and would have had my dream job but that also would have meant long hours and dh had long hours and we didn't decided to have kids to be weekend parents. Plus our commute is horrible so we would have never seen little Isaac. My mom stayed home with me and when it came time to go back to work I couldn't imagine handing Isaac off to someone else. Like Lou Lou now that I have gotten used to being home and managing a household I am thinking about volunteering my skills and time and maybe doing a little consulting if there is any to be found. There are still tons of projects I want to do around the house but even volunteering can fill out your resume so that when you do want to jump back into work you have added new skills.

I would never change my decision. I loved having a purpose and feeling like I made a change in the world with my career but I cannot imagine having to miss all the little milestones I have been able to experience with Isaac. Oh and I also feel like our family life isn't as rushed and on the go all the time. Before I always felt like I was running from one place to another and there was never enough time to do it all. I still don't have enough time to get everything done but it isn't as out of control.

hun i also say go for it
I love being a stay at home mum and i will be as long as i can!!!!!!
I will prob work one day a week when the baby is one but only if my mum can have Kyrah and the baby. Then i hope to do this util they are at school then work part time while they are at school. I think the first years are very important. However i also understand working mothers.
If you did decide to go back to work would it be full time?

My goodness thank you all so much for your very inspiring and honest opinions. Thing's don't seem so hazy after reading all your posts. There have been some really valid points raised, thing's that I didn't consider for instance being a SAHM means I won't miss out on all those precious years that I won't get back..that is so true and really sums up why being a SAHM is so great.

It also makes me feel much more confident about being a SAHM after hearing such positive opinions, I still have these little doubts that are creeping in my head BUT I think it's because since the age of 16 I have worked dam hard and supported myself through some extremely tough financial times, I've always managed my own money and never had to rely on anyone else, so being a SAHM would be the first time in my life that I would have no control (of money) that is scary but the pro's totally out weigh the cons. But it's been suggested above that being a SAHM would mean that I could re-focus my attention and put 100% into my Bridal Make-up business which would bring in a few extra £££'s for me and that's exciting!! (and it makes me feel more at ease about it).

Sparkles - I am returning part-time (18.5 hrs per wk) for those 3 months and then it's being reviewed, where I can choose do less hours (probably unlikely) or more hours or jack it in!!

We need to do our sums again and make a few phone calls but I am actually feeling quite excited about making Motherhood my career and main focus! but the important thing is it works out that we are better off with me NOT working at all, if there is any chance we have messed our calculations up, I will have no choice BUT to return to work.

I will have to re-read all of your posts again because each one of them has something different to add and obviously it's difficult to take it all in at once.

How exciting :-)

Do Theo's grandparents live near by? Could they babysit for 1-2 days and you could work then? or just take him off you for one day a week, when you could do your business?

Definitely a good idea for your bridal business!