Who is online?
In total there are 4 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 4 Guests :: 1 BotNone
Most users ever online was 185 on Thu Oct 08, 2020 3:41 pm
Latest topics
Statistics
We have 90 registered usersThe newest registered user is galaxy1981
Our users have posted a total of 28198 messages in 1516 subjects
Not the MIL but the Mother!!
5 posters
Page 1 of 1
Not the MIL but the Mother!!
I wasn't sure where to post this....
I am going through something weird with my mother right now and I don't know what to do.
She and I have always been really close. Before I got pregnant we would have lunch or dinner together once a week and usually on Saturdays we would get up early and shop ALL day and then end the day with dinner. We literally did this every Saturday for almost 10 years!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I got pregnant and suddenly she didn't want to do anything with me anymore. At first I thought it was me being hormonal and reading too much into things but it's been like this since last November.
So, Friday I asked her if she wanted to go shopping on Saturday and she said yes. I was shocked but really excited. I got up Saturday and got dressed and got Owen packed and ready to go and then I called her over and over again but she wouldn't answer her phone. She finally called me back around 2 and said she was just going to spend the day at home. She suggested we move are shopping trip to Sunday. I said that would be fine (even though I was silently crying). Well, I called her yesterday and she wouldn't answer the phone and so we didn't shop and she never returned my calls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what to do. As a new mom (and her daughter!) I need a mother!!!!!
She has hurt my feelings over and over again and I don't know why she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. I'm just so lonely and being a SAHM is so isolating sometimes.
Any advice? Should I confront her or just let it go?
I am going through something weird with my mother right now and I don't know what to do.
She and I have always been really close. Before I got pregnant we would have lunch or dinner together once a week and usually on Saturdays we would get up early and shop ALL day and then end the day with dinner. We literally did this every Saturday for almost 10 years!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, I got pregnant and suddenly she didn't want to do anything with me anymore. At first I thought it was me being hormonal and reading too much into things but it's been like this since last November.
So, Friday I asked her if she wanted to go shopping on Saturday and she said yes. I was shocked but really excited. I got up Saturday and got dressed and got Owen packed and ready to go and then I called her over and over again but she wouldn't answer her phone. She finally called me back around 2 and said she was just going to spend the day at home. She suggested we move are shopping trip to Sunday. I said that would be fine (even though I was silently crying). Well, I called her yesterday and she wouldn't answer the phone and so we didn't shop and she never returned my calls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what to do. As a new mom (and her daughter!) I need a mother!!!!!
She has hurt my feelings over and over again and I don't know why she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. I'm just so lonely and being a SAHM is so isolating sometimes.
Any advice? Should I confront her or just let it go?
Lou Lou- Part Of The Furniture
- Number of posts : 1345
Age : 45
Location : USA
Points : 18
Loyalty Rating : 20322
Registration date : 2008-09-10
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
oh lou lou, if my mom did that i would be upset too!! im so sorry, i havent a clue what would make her so distant. usually its the opposite and you cant get rid of your mom after you have a baby. maybe you should just confront her about it and ask why she hasnt wanted to spend as much time with you lately. you dont even have to bring up the pregnancy and baby or anything, just that you have noticed things have chnged a bit.
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
HI sweety.How strange and very hurtful.I would most deffinately talk to her.I would say "Hey how come we never go shopping anymore,I feel this strangeness between us and it's been since ......." See what she sais.If she denies it and say's you are imagning things.then say "Ok well then lets go this sat ok?" and if she cancels again then you will know somethings up.I don't think you are being paranoid if you say i's been going on this long.
Is there a chance she may be jelous?Of you having a baby?something?Perhaps she has a different takwe on things.like maybe she is 'backing off to let you live your life as a mother yourself?" Perhaps you could explain that you miss the closeness and want to have it back at LEAST sometimes...has she got a new job/occupation in her life somewhere?Is she busy with something?If you guys are that close you should be able to talk freely about it.If something is bothering her then I am sure she can tell you eventually.
I hope you find out what it is and fix it soon.I too am close to my mum and I 'm very out of sorts if we fall out or thingks arent right between us!I hope you get it fixed soon.please let us know how it goes!xxx
Is there a chance she may be jelous?Of you having a baby?something?Perhaps she has a different takwe on things.like maybe she is 'backing off to let you live your life as a mother yourself?" Perhaps you could explain that you miss the closeness and want to have it back at LEAST sometimes...has she got a new job/occupation in her life somewhere?Is she busy with something?If you guys are that close you should be able to talk freely about it.If something is bothering her then I am sure she can tell you eventually.
I hope you find out what it is and fix it soon.I too am close to my mum and I 'm very out of sorts if we fall out or thingks arent right between us!I hope you get it fixed soon.please let us know how it goes!xxx
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
thanks for the reply.
Yeah, we've had a lot happen over the last two years. She has a new job, my dad bought some land and they go camping out there a lot, my youngest brother moved out so they have no more children at home.... maybe it's just a natural change in both of our lives.... I also think she is struggling with depression and that may be effecting her desire to get out.
I think I will try to talk to her about it this week.
Wow! You made me think about it from a different perspective. Thanks!
Yeah, we've had a lot happen over the last two years. She has a new job, my dad bought some land and they go camping out there a lot, my youngest brother moved out so they have no more children at home.... maybe it's just a natural change in both of our lives.... I also think she is struggling with depression and that may be effecting her desire to get out.
I think I will try to talk to her about it this week.
Wow! You made me think about it from a different perspective. Thanks!
Lou Lou- Part Of The Furniture
- Number of posts : 1345
Age : 45
Location : USA
Points : 18
Loyalty Rating : 20322
Registration date : 2008-09-10
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
aww,I am sorry it sounds like you have both had major changes,of course there's no reason why you guys shouldnt still be close and or see each other but if there is an underlying issue with her.Perhaps you can help her with it?Anyway,you'll both figure it out.hugs!
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
Awww hun, im sorry you have been feeling this way. I agree with angel, just have a word to her about how you are feeling.
I dont know what you are going through, but i do know that when i was pregnant with my 1st, mum sat me down and we had a chat, she was so upset because i was her oldest, and now im having babies of my own, she said it only seems like yesterday she had me now she is a grandmother, she was worried that i would sort of "forget" about her or not have time for her, but told her she was always welcome whenever she wanted, at first she felt awkward but the more time she spent with us the better it got, so maybe your mum is feeling like she doesnt want to "get in the way" or thinks now that you have a baby you dont need her?? all i can say is tell her that YOU do need her and that there is a little boy who also really needs his grandmother.
I hope things really work out for the best soon for you hun let us know how it all goes.
I dont know what you are going through, but i do know that when i was pregnant with my 1st, mum sat me down and we had a chat, she was so upset because i was her oldest, and now im having babies of my own, she said it only seems like yesterday she had me now she is a grandmother, she was worried that i would sort of "forget" about her or not have time for her, but told her she was always welcome whenever she wanted, at first she felt awkward but the more time she spent with us the better it got, so maybe your mum is feeling like she doesnt want to "get in the way" or thinks now that you have a baby you dont need her?? all i can say is tell her that YOU do need her and that there is a little boy who also really needs his grandmother.
I hope things really work out for the best soon for you hun let us know how it all goes.
Mum of jj- Moderator
- Number of posts : 622
Age : 40
Location : New Zealand
Points : 3
Loyalty Rating : 17664
Registration date : 2008-09-11
Re: Not the MIL but the Mother!!
hey hun came across your post but did you ever sort things out with your mum? I know that alot of woman get hit with reality of they getting older when it comes to the grandmother tittle my mum wont let my nephew call her grandma nothing but nana lol. If she has been depressed then maybe she feeling blood and got that as ppl say "midlife crises" when she came to the fact that she going be not just a mother but a grandmother?
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
|
|
Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:04 am by jesobere
» So who is who?
Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:39 am by Nikki985
» Pregnant!!
Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:03 pm by mscherry42
» Anyone else in the TWW?
Wed May 22, 2013 7:40 am by Nelli2013
» Just popped in
Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:05 am by MommaBear
» Organic Baby Products - For my Baby!!!!!!!!
Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:49 am by sarahgreen
» On to #3!!
Thu May 17, 2012 2:53 pm by Angel
» Nexplanon implant
Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:04 pm by lindzee
» TTC'rs ,Charters and Chart Cheerleaders! 2010~
Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:57 pm by lindzee