Pre teen too early!

I think I have talked about this before, but my oldest who will be eleven in May, is driving me crazy. He seriously thinks he knows everything. But that has been the way he always is. Nothing new there, really just his personality. But add puperty to that, and I am not sure one of us is going survive!! I really want him to be respectful. That is all. To me, to his brothers, to his sister. He is a wonderful kid in school, never in trouble, all his friends mom's tell me over and over again, how polite and sweet he is to have around! So then I go, it must just be me!!!! I want to pull my hair out.
No really, I just want to handle this right. I want to start our next phase of his life together on the right feet, with out allowing him to be rude and disrespectful. I know this is an important time! Any suggestions!??!!
Crystal

I wish I had something insightful to say! My baby is just 6 months old and I am already wondering how the heck we are supposed to a raise polite, young man!!!!!

Hey Crystal,have you tried just leveling with him?Maybe sit hi down and tal to him as an adult (that he is becomin) and tell him you want to treat him with repect and give him repsonsbilty BUT at the same time,he needsto show you that he can be respectful and polite,perhaps you could set upa rewardscheme (like suernay) I dont think he will be told old for this yet,obviously make it something cool,like he could show you how he is respectful,gets good grades,makes an effort to help around the house on top of taking care of HIS own stuff and then perhaps at the end of the month he will get (whatever pleases him right now) such as a trip to his fave place,a video game/a book/ I dont know whatever he LOVES.similarly,if he does something REALLY unpleasent( and make it lear that this is the case) tell him he will loos a privilage for XXX dys/hours (video game/TV time, hanging with his friends,a toy...whichever.

One thing I have foudn to be VERY true,praise verbal and physical rewards for what you DO want him to do/say and the taking away of one phisycal thin (not so much verbal punishment coz he is old enough to work out what he did wrong) for the things you DOnt want. My idea could very well be stupid but I deffaintely did more when I was givenmore credit and praised and given goals to reach if my behaviour ws good,might need to be small weekly reward if a month is too long to wait.Anyway,just an idea.I know frm watching my friends with teens that it's hard!

I am sorry you are having a hard time Crystal. I know you are a great mommy. I was a horrible teenager, and I remember those days well. I was acting out terribly because of a dysfunctional home, but it sounds to me like your son is just being a normal tween

I second what Angel said, just sit him down and talk to him like an adult, ya know? Just let him know what you need from him, find out what he might need from you, even if his needs are irrational or whatever. It just sounds like he's testing the waters. I think as long as you and your hubby stay united and decide how you are going to handle things and be consistent and also give rewards for great behavior, then things should get better. Try to praise him often, and don't compare him to his siblings good behavior, because it only makes them more upset and feel competitive towards siblings. This was always my parent's mistake, and it made my sister and I have issues with each other. Not saying that you are doing that, but just in case. Instead.... challenge him, make him in competition with himself.

Keep us informed, we are here for you!

Hey, does he know my 11 year old? Cause she knows everything too, and is infinitely smarter than her parents (or so she thinks). Yep, she is a fountain of respect and politeness to everyone but us. I get tired of the same old lecture on disrespect over and over - she turns right around and does it again. Sorry, no relief in sight here.......