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Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
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Gutter
Lily*Blossom
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Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Lily*Blossom Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:54 am
So this post probably could go in the "relationship" forum! LOL. But it is mostly related to parenting, so I'm putting it here.
I have a dark curtain in LM's room which makes her sleep an extra hour in the morning, and helps her fall asleep quickly in the evening. She is a very happy and well rested child.
DH and I are in disagreement about the darkening of her room. He believes that I should not put a dark curtain up because LM needs to appreciate the sun rising, and learn that the sun comes up, and we wake up at that time, blah blah blah.
She gets up at the same time every day. Always between 6:45-7:30 a.m. She is happy. I am happy. It's not like the curtain makes her sleep in until noon because she thinks it's still night time.
In Arizona it gets very hot. Especially because the sun beats into the baby's room at noon. The dark curtain helps absorb the heat and and also in the summer months it gets light here very early in the morning because in Arizona we never change our clocks, while the rest of the world does. She would wake up at like 5 a.m. every morning without that curtain. She also naps much longer with the curtain drawn. She only naps 1 hour without the curtain, she naps 1 1/2 to 2 hours with the dark curtain drawn. I have experimented with this. The dark curtain helps mommy get more rest, and I am much happier, and so is LM because she is getting great sleep.
I don't get my hubby sometimes. He gets very opinionated about things. He also says that he wants to take her crib tent off soon, because it's "Not Natural." That crib tent helps her fall asleep quickly. She cannot throw out her pacifiers, and also she doesn't try to climb out of her crib, so it protects her from hurting herself while climbing out. I also am able to shut off the monitor and just sleep well, because I know she is safe in that crib and will not get out. I told hubby that when LM is speaking and I can reason with her, and she will listen and stay in her bed, then I will take off the crib tent, and also I will put a lighter curtain in her room. But for right now, this makes my life easier!
WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? He isn't the one who gets up with her, I AM. She is happy. She is resting well. Why does he insist on altering these things that help us be a better rested family?
Why does he have to be such a flipping know it all? He always tells me that "He has been a parent longer than me."
Guess what, not trying to be rude, but he and his ex wife split up when his son was younger than LM. He does not have the experience of living in the same house as his child 24/7. He got his son on weekends, and for some long weeks, but that was starting when his son was almost 3 years old. Before that, his ex wife would only allow my husband to visit, not to have his son overnight. There is a huge difference between reasoning with a child to stay in bed when they are almost 3 years old, as opposed to now, when LM is 19 months. I have been LM's mother just as long as he has been her father, and I know her inside and out. He always compares LM and her brother, and guess what, they are TOTALLY different sleepers. LM hears every noise, and she is a light sleeper, easily disturbed, just like me. I hate when DH is like, "Well when my son was little, he slept in the morning just fine, and he never had a dark curtain or crib tent, blah blah. In fact, he was sleeping in a toddler bed by age 20 months."
Bull crap. His son did not have a big boy bed that he slept in all by himself until he was almost 3 years old. Also, DH's ex wife admitted to him that my step-son slept with her in her room and bed until he was almost 3. So yes, he may have had a big boy bed at age 20 months, but he never freaking slept in it by himself. But get this, the kid still had a flipping BOTTLE AND PACIFIER at age 3. So I can't use a dark curtain or crib tent for LM, but his son can have a pacifier and bottle until he is 3, but he has to sleep in a big boy bed. I am the one who said no more, and finally toilet trained my step-son at 3.5 years old, and took away his bottle and pacifier.
Wow, I really vented, I guess I am more annoyed than I thought.
Anyway, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts and advice, even if you don't agree with me.
I have a dark curtain in LM's room which makes her sleep an extra hour in the morning, and helps her fall asleep quickly in the evening. She is a very happy and well rested child.
DH and I are in disagreement about the darkening of her room. He believes that I should not put a dark curtain up because LM needs to appreciate the sun rising, and learn that the sun comes up, and we wake up at that time, blah blah blah.
She gets up at the same time every day. Always between 6:45-7:30 a.m. She is happy. I am happy. It's not like the curtain makes her sleep in until noon because she thinks it's still night time.
In Arizona it gets very hot. Especially because the sun beats into the baby's room at noon. The dark curtain helps absorb the heat and and also in the summer months it gets light here very early in the morning because in Arizona we never change our clocks, while the rest of the world does. She would wake up at like 5 a.m. every morning without that curtain. She also naps much longer with the curtain drawn. She only naps 1 hour without the curtain, she naps 1 1/2 to 2 hours with the dark curtain drawn. I have experimented with this. The dark curtain helps mommy get more rest, and I am much happier, and so is LM because she is getting great sleep.
I don't get my hubby sometimes. He gets very opinionated about things. He also says that he wants to take her crib tent off soon, because it's "Not Natural." That crib tent helps her fall asleep quickly. She cannot throw out her pacifiers, and also she doesn't try to climb out of her crib, so it protects her from hurting herself while climbing out. I also am able to shut off the monitor and just sleep well, because I know she is safe in that crib and will not get out. I told hubby that when LM is speaking and I can reason with her, and she will listen and stay in her bed, then I will take off the crib tent, and also I will put a lighter curtain in her room. But for right now, this makes my life easier!
WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? He isn't the one who gets up with her, I AM. She is happy. She is resting well. Why does he insist on altering these things that help us be a better rested family?
Why does he have to be such a flipping know it all? He always tells me that "He has been a parent longer than me."
Guess what, not trying to be rude, but he and his ex wife split up when his son was younger than LM. He does not have the experience of living in the same house as his child 24/7. He got his son on weekends, and for some long weeks, but that was starting when his son was almost 3 years old. Before that, his ex wife would only allow my husband to visit, not to have his son overnight. There is a huge difference between reasoning with a child to stay in bed when they are almost 3 years old, as opposed to now, when LM is 19 months. I have been LM's mother just as long as he has been her father, and I know her inside and out. He always compares LM and her brother, and guess what, they are TOTALLY different sleepers. LM hears every noise, and she is a light sleeper, easily disturbed, just like me. I hate when DH is like, "Well when my son was little, he slept in the morning just fine, and he never had a dark curtain or crib tent, blah blah. In fact, he was sleeping in a toddler bed by age 20 months."
Bull crap. His son did not have a big boy bed that he slept in all by himself until he was almost 3 years old. Also, DH's ex wife admitted to him that my step-son slept with her in her room and bed until he was almost 3. So yes, he may have had a big boy bed at age 20 months, but he never freaking slept in it by himself. But get this, the kid still had a flipping BOTTLE AND PACIFIER at age 3. So I can't use a dark curtain or crib tent for LM, but his son can have a pacifier and bottle until he is 3, but he has to sleep in a big boy bed. I am the one who said no more, and finally toilet trained my step-son at 3.5 years old, and took away his bottle and pacifier.
Wow, I really vented, I guess I am more annoyed than I thought.
Anyway, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts and advice, even if you don't agree with me.
Last edited by Princess_Longbottom on Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
Lily*Blossom- Moderator
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Gutter Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:48 pm
Tiff, I can understand the dark curtains, I actually hang a thick blanket on Audrey window, except I haven't been able to lately because she's in her big girl bed and pulls it down. I think it helped Audrey stay in bed longer too 
I also find it convenient in the summer when it's hot, actually our bedroom is soooo dark from blankets and curtains because DF sleeps during the day, lol!! My house seems gloomy, but the window in the door upstairs brings in light and I always open up the curtains in the living room in the morning. My kitchen has no curtains at the moment. I do like the natural light Anyways I can understand you view point
I also find it convenient in the summer when it's hot, actually our bedroom is soooo dark from blankets and curtains because DF sleeps during the day, lol!! My house seems gloomy, but the window in the door upstairs brings in light and I always open up the curtains in the living room in the morning. My kitchen has no curtains at the moment. I do like the natural light Anyways I can understand you view point
Gutter- Part Of The Furniture
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Lou Lou Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:57 pm
Tiff
I also have a sheet hanging over Owen's window. I'll be damned if he's going to wake up at the but crack of dawn. He's 18 months old and has NO appreciation for sun rises or sunsets!
The way I see it is like this: I have never met a grown man that sleeps under a tent or requires crib railings. Nor have I met an adult that still uses a pacifier or drinks from a bottle.....
They are babies and they have the rest of their lives to learn and struggle through hard stuff! If a sheet on the window and a tent over the crib keep them rested and on schedule then so be it!!!!
Sorry, but this gets me hot under the collar! It sounds JUST like something my husband would do!!!!!!!!
Stand your Ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also have a sheet hanging over Owen's window. I'll be damned if he's going to wake up at the but crack of dawn. He's 18 months old and has NO appreciation for sun rises or sunsets!
The way I see it is like this: I have never met a grown man that sleeps under a tent or requires crib railings. Nor have I met an adult that still uses a pacifier or drinks from a bottle.....
They are babies and they have the rest of their lives to learn and struggle through hard stuff! If a sheet on the window and a tent over the crib keep them rested and on schedule then so be it!!!!
Sorry, but this gets me hot under the collar! It sounds JUST like something my husband would do!!!!!!!!
Stand your Ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lou Lou- Part Of The Furniture
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Lily*Blossom Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:57 pm
Thank GOD I'm not the crazy one here. I just don't get it. I swear. My husband is Hungarian by blood, and my mother in law lives in Hungary, doesn't speak but 5 words of English. She believes all kinds of wives tales, but is also a doctor (although she's not practicing, she does health inspections), and so my husband believes every darned word she says.
They believe A LOT of old wives tales. Like when LM was born, DH wouldn't let me pat her back to burp her, he said it would give her a crooked spine.
My mother in law told me not to eat anything orange while I was pregnant because my child would come out orange.
Seriously, what the crap???
I don't understand why our husbands are so darned opinionated over STUPID things.
It's all good. DH is getting a motorcycle against my will, so I'll be damned if he's gonna tell me I can't hang a sheet in my baby's window, or have her in a crib tent.
Good grief.
They believe A LOT of old wives tales. Like when LM was born, DH wouldn't let me pat her back to burp her, he said it would give her a crooked spine.
My mother in law told me not to eat anything orange while I was pregnant because my child would come out orange.
Seriously, what the crap???
I don't understand why our husbands are so darned opinionated over STUPID things.
It's all good. DH is getting a motorcycle against my will, so I'll be damned if he's gonna tell me I can't hang a sheet in my baby's window, or have her in a crib tent.
Good grief.
Lily*Blossom- Moderator
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Lou Lou Sat Nov 28, 2009 10:03 pm
AMEN, SISTER!!!!!!!!!
Seriously about eating anything orange? What if you ate a lot of broccoli? Would she have come out green?
Seriously about eating anything orange? What if you ate a lot of broccoli? Would she have come out green?
Lou Lou- Part Of The Furniture
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
dolly's momma Sun Nov 29, 2009 4:33 pm
Lucy's crib is in our bedroom. We have a 'black out' shade on the window. I use it at night and for her naps too. She can sleep without it, but like you said she sleeps deeper and gets better rest with it.
I have been thinking about getting a crib tent. Lucy is trying to escape her crib, and is just short of being able to hike her leg up over the rail. We have been afraid to move her in here with her big girl bed because of the older ones. Plus so far I can't even get her to nap in her big girl bed. Even if I put her in it already asleep the average time is 2 minutes before she is bouncing out of it like the energizer bunny.
I have been thinking about getting a crib tent. Lucy is trying to escape her crib, and is just short of being able to hike her leg up over the rail. We have been afraid to move her in here with her big girl bed because of the older ones. Plus so far I can't even get her to nap in her big girl bed. Even if I put her in it already asleep the average time is 2 minutes before she is bouncing out of it like the energizer bunny.
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
Angel Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:54 pm
Lou Lou wrote:Tiff
I also have a sheet hanging over Owen's window. I'll be damned if he's going to wake up at the but crack of dawn. He's 18 months old and has NO appreciation for sun rises or sunsets!
The way I see it is like this: I have never met a grown man that sleeps under a tent or requires crib railings. Nor have I met an adult that still uses a pacifier or drinks from a bottle.....
They are babies and they have the rest of their lives to learn and struggle through hard stuff! If a sheet on the window and a tent over the crib keep them rested and on schedule then so be it!!!!
Sorry, but this gets me hot under the collar! It sounds JUST like something my husband would do!!!!!!!!
Stand your Ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ditto Ditto and Ditto...as for wives tales...lets be a LITTLE more sensible shall MIL...REALLY??? Orange? and they let her practice medicine? yikes!
Princess_Longbottom wrote:Thank GOD I'm not the crazy one here. I just don't get it. I swear. My husband is Hungarian by blood, and my mother in law lives in Hungary, doesn't speak but 5 words of English. She believes all kinds of wives tales, but is also a doctor (although she's not practicing, she does health inspections), and so my husband believes every darned word she says.
They believe A LOT of old wives tales. Like when LM was born, DH wouldn't let me pat her back to burp her, he said it would give her a crooked spine.
My mother in law told me not to eat anything orange while I was pregnant because my child would come out orange.
Seriously, what the crap???
I don't understand why our husbands are so darned opinionated over STUPID things.
It's all good. DH is getting a motorcycle against my will, so I'll be damned if he's gonna tell me I can't hang a sheet in my baby's window, or have her in a crib tent.
Good grief.
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Re: Disagreeing with DH on sleep methods for the baby.
LeanneWhitney Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:52 pm
Id tell him straight up eh are you going be the one wake up with her and take care of her all day when she is whiny and tired because she didn't sleep well? i know i cant sleep with lights i wake up to every sound to and him going on about it son is bull shit sorry to say it like that but i took care of my nephew from new born up and he is the complete opposite to cloie, every child is different in there own way as for the dummy/pacifier I had mine till i was 4 almost 5 then sucked the corner of my pillow case lol. But i think 3-4 is a good age but letting them think it was there dission to make just on pure fact of teeth growing in right. We all have our comfort item or thing we like to do why distress her when she is clearly happy "MOM/MUM KNOWS BEST"
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